If you're reading this, you're probably one of the many Komodo Dragons that can read and write in English. I congratulate you. Welcome to my blog. In it, I suspect I will write about many lizardy things, and possibly things related to dragons, the Komodo variety, but not the other kind, of which we shall not speak lest they return. On to the first post then, yes?
Today began like any other. I awoke from my lizard bed and waited until the last possible moment to wake up and cleansed my scales so I could go to work. I intentionally used the bad smelling deodorant because I know it makes everyone at work think I haven't showered. This amuses me. The wrinkled noses and look-exchanges are priceless.
I was required to lift many heavy boxes at work, which is unusual, because I typically spend most of my day typing. That alone is practically impossible with a set of razor sharp claws. (Your praise on that point would be appreciated). But gripping and lifting 60 lb boxes is pretty hard when your limbs aren't desired for lifting. (Your praise on that point would also be appreciated).
I worked alone for the most part. The new girl is constantly nagging at me for advice on how to do her job. She's smart but she doesn't know anything and it's annoying and NO she's not a possible love interest in the movie of my life because she's married and not my type anyway. Ugh, your lizard brains go straight to sex, don't they? Of course they do.
So, I spent most of the day working and thinking about what a fantastic employee I am. It was nice but tiring. I wish more Komodo Dragons worked there, more would get done. I mean, we had one for a while, but he was sort of a d-bag. It was sad what happened to him though, he committed suicide. He bit himself in the neck three times and then threw himself in the lake. I was aghast when I heard. Aghast. And surprised because I had no prior knowledge of it. As I explained to everyone in the room when I heard and then explained to everyone with whom I spoke about it afterwards. I said how sad I was and how surprised. It was so surprising and sad. (Condolences appreciated because of how sad I still am).
After work I came home and read for a bit and then had my now ritual ME time where I do ME things alone with MYSELF. I'm sure I'll never include details about the ME things in this blog, but I may decide to report how they go. Today they went about average.
I browsed the okcupid and wondered why I don't ever see Komodo Dragon faces on their. Or if I would want to see such, as Komodo Dragons are not as attractive as human females. I have confusing and conflicting feelings on that. I'm a bit exhausted by the site, having sent over 20 messages over the past couple of weeks without getting any responses. I've never been good at meeting human people. When I do, it's the wrong person at the wrong time. Or the right person at the right time? Or maybe the wrong person in the right place? Human idioms can be very confusing. #KomodoDragonProblems
That brings us more or less to here. I think I might go the gym, though I have to hurry because they will close soon. I just want to walk on the treadmill apparatus. It is a device that humans use to walk. It is truly amazing. One pays thousands of dollars so they can walk at their own pace for as long as they wish. #HumanIngenuity
Those are my Lizardy thoughts for the moment, such as they are. Thank you for taking this ride with me, if you were inclined to do so. If you weren't, then you're not reading this right now. Either way, I hope you'll join me again soon.