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So I'm 33



As I sit here at my friends house because I drank to much.  I can't help but think about where my life is.  I've had it all and lost it more times than I can count, I would like to blame my x wife but in reality it's not all her fault.  


Ove done one the drugs, the drinking, the late night parrting, I've never gone to school, everything I know I taught myself.  So what am I do?  I grind 24/7 I work from home so I'm always on call!  I don't get to see my kids because of the lies and liberal justice system that is Northern VA until Feb 2017...

yes ive got good friends but because of everything I'm involved in and everything I'm doing I can not risk getting involved with them if anything happens.

i struggle with depression on a daily basis only to look at my phone to see pictures of my kids on my phone, or memories on Facebook.   I stay busy to keep focus on what I'm doing so I don't get des pressed, recently a new women has stepped into my life that has really helped me out a lot.  Just her smile brightens up my day.  I try to act like a rock for everyone around me, because they rely on me for guidance but in reality I'm falling apart.  


I dont knowd these these are the thoughts of a guy sober up after a long night of drinking and talking about life an where we are!

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Cant really contribute much except that I know what you mean.The only thing that keeps me going is the end game. You're doing it for a reason. Just gotta keep going. Not long now, chin up!

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i can help.. but you have to join the dark side :P  nah all kidding aside.. my depression was inflicted for nearly a decade.. for 2 primary causes... loss of popularity and lack of attention due to my foolish youth. .. all the while .. crappy career didnt help.. but i kept on paddling.. and thought about it many times.. drank my self stupid plenty and still this little train kept choo-chooing..  i guess my faith / hoping for something better kept me going.. and im sure its a verse in all ancient novels out there..  but i will tell you this... YOU will get whats coming for you.. never give up! for me..  by some miracle situation.. i landed a decent job.. even tho it has its ailments.. and it changed my life if not better, this is what im thankful for. 

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Rhythms and goals help me focus.  Balancing of time is a challenge and crappy jobs don't help, but pay the bills. Learning how to have fun without being loaded is hard but possible. Hanging out with people that have fun without being drunk takes a little time and it can be as simply as a sport or weekend trip. As you get older you'll remember were the rocks are and steer clear of them:)

As ex's go I don't have one but they are not going to help. They will comply if you are in a place the court deems fit or very fit:)

Take a pen and paper and draw a short term plan. One weekend at a time.

33 is like 23 in the old days, so be done with the silly shit and getter done.

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