Glojean

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About Glojean

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    Junior Member
  • Birthday 08/03/1951

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Victoria, BC. Canada
  1. Excellent advice DragonLady!!!
  2. I' m definitely pro-choice and don't know if this helps or not, But when I was 22 I became pregnant. I was not in a healthy place at all, was pretty irresponsible and the father and I had broken up before I realized I was pregnant. I wasn't even living in my own country at the time. I was terrified. Scared of my parents' reaction, scared of what I was going to do and how I was going to support the baby. But I decided to keep my baby (legal abortion wasn't an option, and illegal was just too dangerous) and I have never regretted my decision. I won't say it was easy, because it wasn't, but I pulled myself together because I had to and I made my daughter my priority. I stumbled a bit more and I made many mistakes, but I wouldn't change a thing. She is going to be 40 this year. She has two wonderful children and it really was one of the best things that ever happened to me. My parents were disappointed, but they helped me and loved me and supported me. Sounds like you have the same support. In the end, only you knows what's best for you. And I think both your mom and your boyfriend will help you get to that decision because they know you better than anyone here. In the end, follow your heart and don't let fear of what might happen be the deciding factor for you. And if you do decide to not have an abortion but really feel you can't raise a child, there are many couples out there who would love to have a baby and can't. And adoption today is so much more open than it used to be. No matter what you decide, best wishes to you.
  3. Hi. It is good you are taking the first steps. I found setting small achievable goals helped me get to where I wanted to go. And I also found that not making too many changes at once helped me stay focused I agree with Tantalus that you should look at this as a lifestyle change, not a diet. There are some great online support groups specifically geared to healthy eating - have you connected with any of them? They quite often have great tips for staying on track and for ways to deal with any triggers that might sabotage you.
  4. Thank you! I appreciate your insight and kind words. I think you are right, this is a bump in the road! By the way, you sound pretty awesome as well.
  5. Hi Tehjackal I have been married for longer than you have lived!!!! Man, does that make me feel ancient. When you have been married as long as I have, sex is definitely not everything. And I guess I wasn't really clear in that, while it was atiny part of the issue, it wasn't the issue. My husband and I have always had an open and honest relationship. He has always been my best friend. I could (and have) talked to him about everything. We laugh together, we cry together , we share a lot of the same interests, but not all of them. So the problem was that we had stopped talking. I mean, we talked - but we didn't REALLY talk. I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about the things that were bothering me. But, because of this group, I did what I should have done in the first place - I talked to him. And discovered that we are both feeling the same. way and it all comes from our shared feelings of "what now?" When you have spent the majority of your life with jobs, children, responsibility - it is a truly odd feeling to realize that you don't HAVE to be responsible anymore. No more job, no more worrying about mortgages, children, etc etc. So with my retirement close at hand we realized we weren't completely sure what that was going to look like. But we didn't tell each other. It has always been something that was going to happen at some point in the future. We kept talking about but didn't really THINK about it. And now it is here. So we are both feeling like 18 year olds on the last day of school with no solid plans for our "future". And while we talked we realized that was a VERY good thing. So - to ThatGirls point - we now embrace that fact we have no PLANS and we are just going to do what we want when we feel like it. Maybe we'll take up golf, maybe we won't. For sure we will travel - but not sure where. Get to take advantage of all those last minute sales now. We are free as birds, we have our whole lives ahead of us. So today it is better. Not perfect, but much better and I truly do thank everyone who took the time to give me their perspective.
  6. Hi I really think the first thing you need to do is to slow down and take a deep breath and then go talk to your Mom. She sounds like a pretty supportive, caring Mom and you need that right now. And you need to make sure you are really pregnant before you completely stress yourself out. Take it one small step at a time. If you are pregnant you have a little time to make a decision about what you want to do. Any decision you make is going to be life changing, but, in the end it is you who needs to make this decision. And you need to make it for yourself, not for anyone else. So my advice is to maybe confirm the pregnancy, then talk to your Mom and then tell your boyfriend - he needs to know as well, because even though you told him you were on BC, he still is an equal partner in this. It isn't all your responsibility - it is his as well. Take care, and let us know how you are doing.
  7. Sounds like it might be doomed!! Maybe an excuse for a newer version.
  8. Loved Torchwood. - will have to check out Being Human (British version). Am liking a lot of the British TV - Misfits (on netflix) is a favorite. Like Lost Girl, Person of Interest, Big Bang and new one this year Mom.
  9. Just throwing this out there. It may or may not work but doesn't cost anything to try. My iPhone got wet and I was told to put it in a bag of rice and leave for a day. It wasn't working properly when I put it in the bag of rice but it worked great when I took it out. I suppose if it is short circuiting or there are mineral deposits it probably won't be of any help. But if it is just excess moisture - the rice might work.
  10. I know it has been raised that a "dislike" button is needed. But what I would really like is a "not helpful" button. If comments are perceived to be hurtful by the original poster but they don't officially break the rules the only option the original poster has is to ignore or defend. Ignoring could be perceived as accepting the comments, defending ends up defeating the purpose of asking for help in the first place (IMHO). A "not helpful" button would be..........helpful!! Glojean
  11. Hi That Girl I did ask that your reply be removed but see you have had it reinstated. So I will reply. You are making wild assumptions about myself and my husband based solely on a few messages I posted. And then you are trying to give me advice based in those wild assumptions. Not sure why someone who acknowledges that "marriage is the hardest thing to do" and that they "couldn't do it" is qualified to comment in marriage at all. Am I over bearing and controlling? I suppose it depends on your view of relationships. My husband and I have mutual respect for each other. We don't have gender roles. If that makes me over-bearing and controlling in your world - then I am glad I am not in your world. Is my husband mousy. Not by anyone's definition. Certainly not by mine. I don't control him in any way, shape or form, just as he does not control me. Lesson for you ThatGirl - marriage is not about control. And you completely misinterpreted my comment about sitting him down. All I meant was I was going to bring up all the things I had been talking about here to him (which is what I should have done in the first place and what all the good advice I received pointed out to me made me realize). Which is what I have done - and we are going to work together to make it better for both of us. You, my friend (and no disrespect meant) need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you have such a compulsive need to pass judgement on people you can't possibly know anything about. By the way, I didn't post the question because I needed my ego stroked. I posted the question because I was at a really low point and typed the word "help" into google and found this site. I was truly looking for guidance on the best way to move forward in my life and relationship. I wasn't looking to be slapped down and categorized. I can do that to myself all on my own.
  12. Thanks TigerLily. I did used to run it as a business. No tests to pass, but fairly stringent labelling requirements. I was quite involved with the soap community at the time but was very small and local. I don't want to do the business again because I ended up having to make the same things over and over rather than just make what I want and stay creative. So this time will be for fun only and all my friends and family will have to get used to receiving soaps and lotions as gifts!!! But we could still work together as a team. Another hobby I wanted to try was creating decorative paving stones. That would be something we could do together. And I agree, he needs to get out of the house and start meeting people other than me!!! He does go to a personal trainer twice a week for a group boot camp but it is only a few people and they all work. Now that I am retiring he won't be able to afford that, so am already working on him to look at joining a gym. Never thought about it before, that there would be lots of retired folks during the day. I will throw that out to him and see what he says. Today is the day I am going sit him down and have a talk. I will let you know tomorrow how it plays out. Fingers crossed!!
  13. Aisha I think you have hit the nail directly on the head!! I am stressing about what my life is going to look like with us both retired. Currently my days are filled with my work. It tends to be all I think about and it exhausts me, which means I am not a whole lot of fun to be with in the evenings and on weekends. So the problem really lies with me and not my poor, dear husband. But I am already planning what I am going to do for me when I retire and I am getting pretty excited about it. I "used" to have a little soap and lotion business. Very small, all homemade products - I taught a few classes, sold at a local market - really loved it. My DH helped me a lot with it. He was my best sales person!!! Anyway, I am going to start making soaps and lotions again. Not as a business this time, just as a hobby. And I am going to take a few classes at a senior centre here. I know that my DH is lonely. Being at home, by himself, has not been great for him. To TigerLily's point, I think my DH might be a bit depressed. He does get out a bit during the day, but not as much as he should. And he doesn't have male friends. His job was very high pressured and work was his life. Both he and I are pretty committed to family, so there just wasn't time for a lot of non-family friends. He loves golf though, so am going to encourage him to start playing. I appreciate all the advice, but I think Aisha and TigerLily have really given me something to think about. @TigerLily - I agree I need to fix this sooner than later. After my last day of work, we are heading to Mexico for a few weeks of decompress time. We love to travel together and we are meeting up with some friends for the last week we are there.
  14. Love the worlds you have created. Quite impressive.
  15. I'm thankful for bacon. And on diet days, turkey bacon.