Hello. Life can be so good, I'm sorry you're in a shitty patch. I think that after life, there really is nothing to worry about anymore, which is why life is so precious. Anything can matter just as much as you want it to, you know. You don't really have to do anything you don't want to. Mostly, I just hope you feel better. I know how it hurts to feel alone and wrapped up in problems nobody even wants to help you with. Sometimes though, the harder you try, the easier things get. I think people usually say the opposite, but that hasn't been my experience. It has been my experience that I want to yell at the world and say, "I CAN'T TRY ANY HARDER!" but then I calm down and try to take better care of myself so that life feels more okay and I can try better. I can't tell you how much it helps to be able to recognize when you really need sleep or exercise or a hug to feel better.