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About Tymbus

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  • Birthday 10/10/1961

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    Brighton, UK
  1. So I volunteer for a charity and they want a blog. They already use twitter and have facebook pages. I have a lot of thoughts about content but technically have never set up a blog. I am considering offering a lead on the project. My main concern is that whatever blog system is used I feel the organisation needs a chance to read potential posts before they go up as it operates in a sensitive area (mental health). i also feel comments need to be carefully policed and inappropriate links set up by 'likes' etc would be undesirable to say the least. The same for followers. Anyone any idea on how to address these concerns yet still post content from different contributors and traffic to the blog?
  2. Wow. Got this late. I suppose in the UK the George cross part of the Union Flag has often been hi-jacked by the far right and has often symbolised racist views in specific contexts. But Patriotism and racism aren't the same. Symbols and thier meanings are fought over. The USA is interesting because it seems common to fly the flag in everyday contexts like the home and school. Less so in the UK. It maybe a campus or university is dealing with very specific difficulties and the image of the flag has got caught up in this. But America has often embraced immigration. Whatever else it symbolises 'the land of the free'. I don't think it successfully addresses inequalities or problems from history. But patriotism sort transcends that, the flag represents utopian ideals as well as actual history. Banning flags is a pretty desperate measure feognising and fying other flags along side it would seem more appropriate, from state flags to flags recognising minorities
  3. hmm so you've tried a lot of approaches, direct or indirect and you say nothing works. I am not sure. Have you no friends. The advice I always received is that people will approach you if they are interested (logically that's absurd but it has a ring of truth). People often befriend each other because they meet in shared circumstances and just get talking. Wanting to hang out might sound clingy and creepy. Try waiting until you are invited to hang out. Don't be too perfectionist. accept guys who want to be with you and see the value in them as opposed to others for whom you just might not be what they are looking for. I can't imagine you are at fault or an issue in anyway. Just find opportunities to mix with people and for them to get to know you.
  4. I have watched two depressed people neglect thier pets. It is an aspect of depression and, sadly, your pet is better off away from your care while you are unable to care even for yourself. And that is where you need to begin. I was very sad to hear of your family circumstances and I have a real feeling that a lot of your depression stems sadly from your family. there seems too much agression and neglect of you. I note that you see life in harsh terms. you use metaphors of violence and fighting and it makes me wonder if you have been abused mentally and physically. A starting point is to let go of those feelings, to value yourself and be kinder in your evaluation of yourself, life and others. Your family life is draining you of the energy to fulfill your goals. You need a lot of space to be kind to yourself and restore that energy. Maybe voluntary work with a caring organisation would provide that space. I wish you well.
  5. Sigh, he never even used the site. I don't know why I allow myself to give credability to some people. I appreciate your efforts here bigal
  6. A young friend of mine has poured scorn on the possibility of websites like this gaining traffic in the face of Reddit which is some kind of mega forum gaining popularity. It is possible to set up a sub forum within Reddit but, alas, not link to this site from it. I have to say my mates primary function in life is to pour scorn on just about everything he believes is associated with older people. He did make the point that sites need to be smartphone friendly . As reported by posters above, google is prioritizing these and promoting well designed sites (?). I think, looking at all the designs suggested, the key aspect of the old sites appeal for me was the sense of movement eg continually scrolling questions, flashing avatars etc. Finally, again HelptoGo does have some great colours: in its logo : the light green, blue and red. I honestly feel dark colours purple and etc aND BLACK should be avoided at all costs
  7. My God! How sad. I must admit that it was hard for me sometimes to evaluate her narrative of events. Could a medical professional really mistake an image to fibroids/tumours for capsuals swallowed by a drug mule? And there was so much anger there. I can now see why. Daft Puck was one of the great personalities of Help.com as I found it. I offered support where I could but she really was let down by the medical profession. I have wondered about her fate and am thoroughly embaressed to admit that at times I doubted the situation could be as described. My condolances to her family and all who knew and were friends with her. A tremedous personality who will be sadly missed.
  8. thanks for clarifying priaz. You are certainly in a difficult place and making a lot of sacrifices. Your parents wishes have to be ignored at some point but I see pressing personal reasons for you deciding or having to stay at home. I thinl you have to find a way of disengaging from the conflict. Turn your room into a sanctuary and stay out of the way as much as you can. Your mother is an adult and can look after her self.
  9. I am wondering how to answer you without sounding like a crisis line! I'd like to do two things: the first is to invite you to share your concerns here if you want. The second is to explain what is going on with the crisis lines. The responses are their way of demonstrating empathy and support for you. They will be working from a position that only you can help your self and you posses that strength BUT for you to see that what you need is to be listened to and given unconditional support in terms of understanding you. In the UK, The Samaritans have I believe a policy of not even calling for help if you were going to kill yourself. You also won't receive advice. Why? Because that would be presumptious and, worse it would rob you of the chance to get in touch with your own inner strength. Here you will get advice but that might really be not what you need and not appropriate. But one thing is for sure, even though I am not always on line, regular helpers here will read in detail and give you thier views because we respect people and, you may not agree, so do the people who are on help lines.
  10. Its hard to know what more can be said. I feel for your position. You want things to change but really lack the power to change anything.Sherlock's suggestion that you join the military maybe startling but actually they would provide you with a 'family' of sorts, income, a sense of purpose etc. Other organizations and careers can do that though. there's no point in us debating what your Dad will do since he is his own man and hasn't come here for help. hey why not show your Dad our discussion here, that might be a wake up call. Otherwise all I can suggest is you use this site for support to become independent. there's a clear choice: get sucked in further to your family dynamic or, slowly, break free. There is an arguement that the family of alcoholics become co-dependent. This link will explain that: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency The long and the short of it is that, sadly, your father's problems have an important appeal to your mother and will have allowed her to feel her world and self view validated by his behaviour. She will have defined herself in relation to him. I am going to sound harsh but I wonder what staying in your current situation is doing for you? What are the positives of it? Do you feel you have an important role as caretaker or rescuer? Can you not imagine a better life for your self?
  11. Sure, thanks for this. I understand it is not name alone. I had thought of going on other answer site at at least saying we exist because people on those sites have asked where Help.com is. However, depemding how you do it you can get kicked of the sites for trying deliberately to direct people to a site of your own. Hhttp://www.forbes.com/sites/jaysondemers/2014/05/13/39-actionable-ideas-for-driving-traffic-to-your-website/ereare some suggestions on other sites: AND http://www.incomediary.com/website-traffic-tips
  12. Yes it is shocking that employers can dismiss you without even having to give a reason.
  13. I can see its hard. perhaps you can talk again to your mother and she could talk to him. Otherwise there is nothing to be done except begin to establish a life for yourself outside the home. as it stands, the situation is going nowhere good. But you know that.
  14. Me

    Prayers aside for a moment, I would also like to extend an offer of help. Suicide is more prevelant among men than women and one explanation is that men are less willing to talk about their problems than women. I hope Padre you have somone just to talk to and listen. In the UK on line support is offered by some charities such as Mindout- although that one is for LGBTQ people. I volunteer for a mental health chat line and am traing to be a counselor so Padre if you want to share your worries and thoughts I am happy to offer a confidential listening ear. In the UK, potentially suicidal people are advised to have a safe plan http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/learn/safety.aspxand to identify a place to go free of harmful objects and where you feel mst happy. I have have been shocked at how many men I know have killed themselves in thier forties and fifties.
  15. I am not sure if this falls under design, but as I know has been mentioned , a real issue is generating a flow of traffic. The good news is that currently when i typed help.com into google helptogo came up as fourth listed, but maybe that's because google knows I come here. There are a few ways to increase traffic mentioned on sites. Has anyone researched this?