• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


About jetmoo

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

162 profile views
  1. It's all about money they could have atleast given us warning so we could get our stuff to keep it saved ourself. Money should never come before people's lives. So many suicidal people used to find help with us. Depressed people. And now that same help isn't there anymore because they wanted their money.
  2. finding it hard to read anymore. But I have got a clean old jar and I'm decorating the front. Paper goes round it to look nice with drawings on. It is gonna be my gratitude jar. And every day I will write something and put it in. Before I go to sleep. That's what I plan. And I'm going to do another one for my achievements through the year. I'm sick and trying to get better so I'm going to write the steps forward I am taking. But there's somewhere you wanna get to there no reason why you can't do the same sorta thing. To praise yourself on steps forward. Something you feel proud for. Eg, a depressed person might feel proud to have mixed with their friend today. A person with anxiety who has just tried to go shopping.
  3. By the way. My mam is a lot taller than my dad. And it would possibly be a bit easier for me and my boyfriend if he were alittle shorter
  4. It's inside that counts not the outside. My boyfriend is really tall and he's really obese right now. But he has the biggest heart. I love him so much. I know he is trying hard to lose that weight and there are more obstacles in the way for him with losing weight than other people. But it is the size of the persons heart that matters. Tall, short, thin, large, blue eyes, ginger hair, glasses, freckles, know we're just people. No one is perfect and we all have imperfections too. And if I person loves you they will take a persons imperfections aswell as the things that they like. I'm thin and I've got a nice body shape. But I'm covered in acne scars. I don't have big boobs like a guy would probably want......lets put it to way. If you found this gorgeous girl and she has so kind and cared about so many people. And she was bubbly and funny and you loved spending time with her. But she didn't have big boobs (just suppose you like boobs) but would that get in the way of you dating her? Would you think, nah I don't wanna date this girl cos she hardly has any boobs? I'm guessing you would probably love to date the girl regardless. Now a girl that says, I don't want to date him, he's short. They are as shallow as the man who says I don't want to be with her her boobs are too small. Would you really want to be with someone like that anyway? Everyone finds someone eventually. It may not happen straight away. It's one of those things. Don't look for it and you will find it. When you LOOK for something you can never find it. Just be the best at being you and enjoy life and soon enough someone will cross your path. So long as you aren't a hermit crab and aren't one of those people who never leave the house.
  5. You don't have your break I don't think you are insured by the company either. You're only insured if you are taking your breaks as you should. And you need rest time. It's not healthy having the adrenaline going all the time. You would get sick if you never had a chance to rest.
  6. Ewe! Nothing wrong at all with being annoyed. I'd tell the boss. If the boss doesn't care, then you should just go on your break even if she isn't back. There will soon be problems when there's no one about. But they will do something about it then. I would totally tell!
  7. There really was. There were posts I had put up and soooo many people gave me so much good advice. And sometimes when I needed it I would go back and look over those words and now I can't. People gave advice and now it can't really be used. There were posts I had kept ahold of, even some of other people's posts that I had saved in my "profile". I could look over the words I used to tell people with depression, suicide, anxiety was one of them. I had a nervous breakdown back then. It's such a tease to have all the posts there but have absolute no order to them at all. There's no way I will ever find my posts..or the advice I was given. And I can't search for as long as others cos reading makes me really's dangling a carrot in front of my nose. I was so excited yesterday when I heard they were all here there nothing we can do? Can we not group together and try to organise them? Like I did the first 20 pages and someone else did the next 20 and so on? If we worked together it would make it easier to find stuff. I see so many people looking through. People obviously want to find their stuff. And there are a lot of people wanting to find it. There could be lots of people wanting to help if they want to find their stuff
  8. I found it because I typed help into Google when I was desperate for help. And that's how I got help. It was the first link on the page. But now if you type into Google help, this doesn't come up. What if people are suicidal and they need help and can't find it? It should be easy for people to find. It would get more people coming on the website. More members that could help each other. It would grow if more people could see it
  9. Why did they take away the old one anyway? It was fine just the way it was
  10. If they hadn't changed everyone to guest it would have been so much easier aswell. Why didn't they atleast out the persons name on each post instead of guest...
  11. That's sad why did they do that
  12. So all of the old posts are in achieve. But there are so many posts. Is there a way to sieve through them to find the ones which were mine? I was jetmoo or jetmoose on there. I can't find anything of my old stuff
  13. Ever feel like self harming? I keep thinking of scratching the hell out of my skin. I made my arm bleed years ago when I did it. I don't really want scars but I still keep thinking of it. It's so hard to describe everything I wanna say. For my brain fog to go away. But it feels like there's not much to look forward to. Things just stay the same. When are things going to get better. I want some friends. Face to face friends.i wanna have fun and go out places. I wanna live my life. I wanna do stuff. I want friends that I can trust to stay. I'm finding it hard to make sense out of my ex best friend. We've been good friends for 13 years. And we've fell out, big time. And I can't make sense of things. It's like I want someone to make sense of it all for me. It's a different friends birthday soon. She's going on a night out and I'm invited. It's nice that she still thinks to invite me despite me being ill. It sucks that I can't go though. What do I have to look forward to?usually once a week my friend Celia comes to see me for an hour or two. My dad works on the rigs so he's home a couple weeks and away a couple weeks. When he's home I sometimes get to go places like Asda to get some food shopping. So that's usually once or twice a month, I go to Asda in a mobility scooter. I might go to my parents house for a couple hours to have a meal and come home again. But majority of my time I am in my own home. My friend from Manchester wants to come see me. He's poorly like I am so it's a really big thing for him to come all the way up here. We both like each other. Don't know how that will work out with us being so far away. I keep looking forward to him coming and it feels like it's not going to happen. Like he wants to. I don't think he's going to give up trying. But even if he comes for a few days. He's gonna go back home and it's just gong to be me again. I'm just trapped in this world in my house and people outside would probably see me as alien. Either really kind cos they can see I'm poorly. But if I get close to people? If I try to make friends with people and they see me more and see that sometimes I can do stuff and sometimes I can't, they aren't going to understand either. Just like my ex best friend. It puts me in danger of losing my benefits if they go around talking about me like she has. If I lose my benefits cos they don't think I'm sick. It's hard for the to believe you that you're poorly. If i lost my benefits and they tried to make me worse I think I'd just kill myself. She didn't believe me that I went through hell. Actual hell and if they tried to make me work before I'm ready then I would relapse and I don't wanna go back there. I'd rather kill myself than be too sick to carry it out. I believe I can get better. But I need more help. And there just doesn't seem many people around. My family are doing their best cos they have their own lives too. But...I need more and it's just not there. I need stuff to look forward to. He was meant to be coming up February and he might not now. March is his birthday and he wanted to see me for his birthday which probably won't happen. Let's see if I get to go to my nieces birthday. Hopefully my sister will let me come instead of my ex best friend this time. April me and my parents will go away in the caravan. Maybe that will be better. But I don't get my hopes up too much. Last time I was so excited to go to the farm for about 3 weeks and it tried so hard to improve so I could go and then got told it wasn't my dads cup of tea. May will be my birthday and I'm not really bothered at all. Alex's birthday will be come July I think and my ex best friend will probs be there and then my sisters wedding and she will be there.. I feel like I upset people without meaning to and have a hard time understanding other people. I think I missed out on a lot of social sort of learning growing up. I always found it hard to make friends anyway and with the way my life has been so far I find it alittle hard to trust people sometimes. And I think I think really different to other people. It was always hard to fit in anywhere I went to start with anyway. So being sick isn't making it much easier with hardly any opportunity to get out the house anyway and seems like everyone are always busy. I'm keep getting scared that people are gonna leave me. Like other people do. I was getting better with my ex best friend. I was doing so well and then everything happened. My emotions I think get affected by this illness and then people misunderstand me even more. Would be nicer to be someone else sometimes. She doesn't seem to believe what I went through. She doesn't seem to believe that I nearly died. Sometimes I think maybe if I had died instead then...I dunno...I guess she would have believed then! I don't go around making stuff up. I get scared that he might not end up wanting to come up aswell. My parents don't want him to stay with me incase he hurts me. I've not met him face to face. But cos of his illness and that he's on benefits aswell it's not easy for him to save. He's got a lot to pay for and with him being disabled aswell. Special needs sorta thing that doesn't make things easier. He says he doesn't want to put all of that onto me. He also doesn't want to make me feel uncomfortable or anything. His body hurts so he could have the bed. He's a big big lad anyway so he would be better on the bed anyway. And I could have the couch. With me being vulnerable aswell though obviously my parents are steering me away from that anyway. Him and them actually. But to think that he might not end up coming. It's proving difficult to sort everything out. And if he comes up, he's gonna need a long time to rest and he's gonna need along time to rest the day before he goes home too. So if he came for 3 days then we might only see each other 1 and abit days maybe....and that's crap... It's like the only thing I'm looking forward to. I get other stuff on my mind aswell. Maybe it's like...intrusive thoughts? That I don't want. Like I could think of some horrible stuff and feel awful and try to push them away. And insecure of people
  14. find it *hard* doing two different ones
  15. I've felt alittle better the last couple days. And my sister said that my old friend won't be coming to the Halloween party anyway. She can't go and said she would find it are doing two different ones. So it's gonna be the one for us two and the bairns