Docteur Ralph

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About Docteur Ralph

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    Master of the Universe

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  1. Linda Carter as Wonder Woman could school me anytime she wanted. I'd sign up for night school and summer school too... ha! Why did my letters get so darK? geeezzzzz.....
  2. I guess I was lucky that back in the 70's when I was doing this cars were HUGE. If you could talk the girl into getting in the back seat it was bigger than a single bed, ha. I always liked sitting in the seat and having the girl astride me on top. It gives you lots of control but for some reason it is never as pleasurable for the girl it seems. Most girls I have known prefered me on top really working instead of them trying to do all the work bouncing on my lap. Find a really quiet spot and lay a sleeping bag on the hood or trunk and stand up while she is laying on top of the car. That works well. Motel 6 was $7.99 in 1978 too, that helped a lot. We'll leave the light on for you.
  3. Looks like you have to be the responsible one. That also means the jerk that ruins everyone's fun. Being an authority figure is no fun, you'll find that out if you ever have children. Suddenly you can't really be their friend, you have to lay down the law and make rules. Tell the kids that their parents are worried about them and if they don't start letting them know exactly where they are and when they will be home that the Friday night party will have to end VERY early every time. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. You nailed it...
  4. So is the girl a teenager? She does kind of sound like she is immature. Maybe this whole keeping things from you is a way of flirting. Yeah she wants you to pay more attention to her and think about her more so she is being mysterious and playing hide and seek with her information.
  5. I kill stuff all the time, sometimes just for the heck of it. People are too easily offended, I feel like I was put here to test the limits...
  6. I think she's already having an affair and she just wants it out in the open. Does she have a masculine looking female roommate or best friend? Really I think you know your marriage has been over for 3 years. You need to start taking notes and recording conversations with her if it's permitted and just go ahead and get ready to end it legally. First lawyer usually wins, and don't tell her about it until your case is already made. I'm sorry but I just don't see having a wife who lives hours away and now wants permission to have sex with other people, male or female it doesn't matter. She's supposed to be your wife, you two really need to figure out some way to live in the same house or there's no reason to even be married. Three years apart? Do you two even have a plan for ever living together again? Put it in place or get out.
  7. Hey what happened to my killer answer? Here's the Cliffs Notes: Find a girl that is really a homosexual guy trapped inside this hot smoking body....
  8. I think everyone who eats a hamburger should be forced to go out and kill a cow. Here's a sledgehammer, beat it in the head until it can't stand up and then slit its throat. Hope you have rubber boots on, blood stains don't look good on Gucci loafers. Well they didn't look THAT bad when OJ wore them.
  9. Yeah those sweat pants always shrink about 18 sizes after a while anyway, you could always throw some of those her way.
  10. I'm never quite sure myself. It just kind of comes out. I seem to write in a flow of consciousness, definitely a little of both. Don't take me literally, but don't shrug off all of what I say as ridiculousness.
  11. I've noticed a trend of treating employees more and more like shit the fewer jobs there are. It's not getting better anytime soon either. Maybe a million more jobs will come to my country and 25 million people who are here illegally will leave. It would be a start.
  12. The real question is what do you do when you find a bunch of prescription narcotics? You know the ones he doesn't have a prescription to? They're really hard to come off of and actually pills are harder to find these days than heroin. Maybe if he gets his pills taken away he gets something stronger just to help him withdraw and accidentally takes a little too much? It's an epidemic. There is now a child born already addicted to opiates every hour in America. When you figure out how to solve this one, we all need the answer... But yeah I would snoop, and not say anything until he is obviously messed up or withdrawing and then say "what's up? You run out of/take too many pills?" Maybe you can help... It's going to be a tough one, but hey maybe they are just chicklets.
  13. I think it's kind of a bonding thing. My son in law asked me for permission to marry my daughter, but if I had said "hell no" it wouldn't have deterred him. It's just a kind of way to let someone know you are buying a ring or about to buy a ring or whatever. It's a way of letting the dad in on the "secret" before it actually happens. I thought it was cool.
  14. The truth is as a man you are expected to be the chaser, girls actually enjoy torturing men and turning them down even when they want to go out with them. Then they come up and say "why didn't you ever ask me out again?" Ummm because you spit in my face and made me feel like shit? So you want to go see a movie this weekend? "Nooo, you're not supposed to ask me out now!!" Grrr Women are from Mars, it's a miracle anyone ever hooks up.