Docteur Ralph

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Everything posted by Docteur Ralph

  1. Linda Carter as Wonder Woman could school me anytime she wanted. I'd sign up for night school and summer school too... ha! Why did my letters get so darK? geeezzzzz.....
  2. I guess I was lucky that back in the 70's when I was doing this cars were HUGE. If you could talk the girl into getting in the back seat it was bigger than a single bed, ha. I always liked sitting in the seat and having the girl astride me on top. It gives you lots of control but for some reason it is never as pleasurable for the girl it seems. Most girls I have known prefered me on top really working instead of them trying to do all the work bouncing on my lap. Find a really quiet spot and lay a sleeping bag on the hood or trunk and stand up while she is laying on top of the car. That works well. Motel 6 was $7.99 in 1978 too, that helped a lot. We'll leave the light on for you.
  3. Looks like you have to be the responsible one. That also means the jerk that ruins everyone's fun. Being an authority figure is no fun, you'll find that out if you ever have children. Suddenly you can't really be their friend, you have to lay down the law and make rules. Tell the kids that their parents are worried about them and if they don't start letting them know exactly where they are and when they will be home that the Friday night party will have to end VERY early every time. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. You nailed it...
  4. So is the girl a teenager? She does kind of sound like she is immature. Maybe this whole keeping things from you is a way of flirting. Yeah she wants you to pay more attention to her and think about her more so she is being mysterious and playing hide and seek with her information.
  5. I kill stuff all the time, sometimes just for the heck of it. People are too easily offended, I feel like I was put here to test the limits...
  6. I think she's already having an affair and she just wants it out in the open. Does she have a masculine looking female roommate or best friend? Really I think you know your marriage has been over for 3 years. You need to start taking notes and recording conversations with her if it's permitted and just go ahead and get ready to end it legally. First lawyer usually wins, and don't tell her about it until your case is already made. I'm sorry but I just don't see having a wife who lives hours away and now wants permission to have sex with other people, male or female it doesn't matter. She's supposed to be your wife, you two really need to figure out some way to live in the same house or there's no reason to even be married. Three years apart? Do you two even have a plan for ever living together again? Put it in place or get out.
  7. Hey what happened to my killer answer? Here's the Cliffs Notes: Find a girl that is really a homosexual guy trapped inside this hot smoking body....
  8. I think everyone who eats a hamburger should be forced to go out and kill a cow. Here's a sledgehammer, beat it in the head until it can't stand up and then slit its throat. Hope you have rubber boots on, blood stains don't look good on Gucci loafers. Well they didn't look THAT bad when OJ wore them.
  9. Yeah those sweat pants always shrink about 18 sizes after a while anyway, you could always throw some of those her way.
  10. I'm never quite sure myself. It just kind of comes out. I seem to write in a flow of consciousness, definitely a little of both. Don't take me literally, but don't shrug off all of what I say as ridiculousness.
  11. I've noticed a trend of treating employees more and more like shit the fewer jobs there are. It's not getting better anytime soon either. Maybe a million more jobs will come to my country and 25 million people who are here illegally will leave. It would be a start.
  12. The real question is what do you do when you find a bunch of prescription narcotics? You know the ones he doesn't have a prescription to? They're really hard to come off of and actually pills are harder to find these days than heroin. Maybe if he gets his pills taken away he gets something stronger just to help him withdraw and accidentally takes a little too much? It's an epidemic. There is now a child born already addicted to opiates every hour in America. When you figure out how to solve this one, we all need the answer... But yeah I would snoop, and not say anything until he is obviously messed up or withdrawing and then say "what's up? You run out of/take too many pills?" Maybe you can help... It's going to be a tough one, but hey maybe they are just chicklets.
  13. I think it's kind of a bonding thing. My son in law asked me for permission to marry my daughter, but if I had said "hell no" it wouldn't have deterred him. It's just a kind of way to let someone know you are buying a ring or about to buy a ring or whatever. It's a way of letting the dad in on the "secret" before it actually happens. I thought it was cool.
  14. The truth is as a man you are expected to be the chaser, girls actually enjoy torturing men and turning them down even when they want to go out with them. Then they come up and say "why didn't you ever ask me out again?" Ummm because you spit in my face and made me feel like shit? So you want to go see a movie this weekend? "Nooo, you're not supposed to ask me out now!!" Grrr Women are from Mars, it's a miracle anyone ever hooks up.
  15. Whatever you do, don't use this as an excuse to go out and buy women's sleepwear. lol No umm girls like to sleep in guy's shirts in my experience. Oftentimes they keep it as a souvenir.
  16. You know if you really want to get even just go out with one of his friends and see how fast he calls back. Ignore him the first hundred times or so...
  17. It's gonna be impossible not to do without all that money from DC. They take it all in, and decide who gets any back. Same way they got all the states to make the drinking age 21 instead of 18. Florida was the last holdout, that Spring Break money was almost as good as Washington, not quite. It pissed me off because it happened right when I was coming of age. Used to be you could drive an hour and hit the bars when you turned 18, then go back to your hometown where it was 21. Kids made lots of weekend trips to ummm visit out of state friends. Look at the bright side, at least they don't have to send in the troops like they did when the south seceded.
  18. She's a bitch, plain and simple.
  19. If you called me 100 times I would ignore you too. I think maybe he is teaching you a lesson.
  20. Diamonds, rubies, garnets, and cubic zirconium.
  21. Did she offer you a freebie yet? Journalism has its rewards.
  22. You need to start asking strangers out. Ask out two girls tomorrow. Then do it again the next day. Just go up to a random girl in line at a store or fast food restaurant or a waitress or cashier or anyone. Smile and look her in the eyes. Say hey I don't have a lot of friends and you look like someone I'd like to hang out with... you want to have lunch? Expect her to laugh in your face, maybe even say you look like a pervert asshat, get out of my face before I mace you in the face. Eventually someone will say sure why not? Then will you take me back to my place and tie me up? Hey you never know, stranger things have happened. You never hit a home run if you never swing.
  23. They're worried about your soul. Well that and the 10% of your income you are expected to tithe after you join.
  24. You just have to go up to her and start talking. Next time you see her walk straight at her with a smile on your face and say "Hi, my name's Bob, what's yours? I'd really like it if we could get to know each other better, how would you like to go get a coffee? By the way I heard Muslim girls are into bondage, how bout we go back to my room and I tie you up?" Well okay maybe you should leave the last part off... until later. So tell your shadow that you want to meet the hot girl with the dark complexion and that the next time you see her you are going to talk to her and you want your friend to leave you alone for a while. Make sure she understands, in fact try to get the friend to help set you up with Khalifa, sometimes that can work out amazingly well. I had one old girlfriend that would hook me up with all kinds of girls, she'd tell them how great I was in bed and all kinds of stuff.... one of the worst days of my life was when that girl moved. crap were we talking about you? Oh yeah and by the way her dad and brothers are probably sworn to rip your head off if you touch her, just a warning.