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Found 19 results

  1. I am so lost and can't seem to be okay. Long story short... At the beginning of the year, I lost my mother on my birthday. I have been numb to it on and off. I just try to shut it out of my head. My boyfriend tried to be here for me but with my depression becoming worse, he didn't know how to. He helped me get signed up for a therapist and see a doctor. I haven't started therapy yet and I really need to cuz I feel like I'm losing it... Then a month ago, a tornado took out my boyfriends house. Nothing could be saved. I tried to gather as many donations I could get to help him out. I'm trying to be here for him and his family but he is constantly shutting me out. He has started being really mean towards me.. it is now to the point where he won't answer the phone or any texts.. When I do see him, he is never in a good mood and tells me how annoying I am when I am in a bubbly happy mood. I've noticed even towards his mom he is in a bad mood. He has quit his job and barely leaves his hotel room. He has fallen into a depression, which is completely understandable. Today, he finally answered the phone and he didn't have anything nice to say. He told me I needed to be free of him and walk away. He feels nothing is going to get better and he doesn't want to continually drag me down with him. This really hurts me because I love him so deep. I can't imagine life without him. He used to say we were soulmates and now he won't even look at me. He's the only person I have since my mom has passed. I literally feel like I can't take anymore. I just want to be okay... I don't know what to do, I'm so lost and hurt. I just want to wake up from this nightmare. How can I support him? How can this relationship be turned around?
  2. Me (25/f) and my SO (26/m) have been together for 8 months now. During these 8 months, I have found him on single hookup websites. He swears that he loves me and he won't do it again after every time I have found him doing this. After finally looking on his phones history, I found over 10 websites he has profiles on and conversations I wish I could unsee. This is now the 4th time I have found him doing this. I am left again, hurt and upset. He wants us to work out but I am honestly thinking about ending it. I asked him why he does it and he has no answer for me. He just says "I don't know why. I F***** up, I'm sorry" I am so tired of hearing I'm sorry, it doesn't fix anything. He has told me all of his relationships only last a little shy of a year long and he has never been the one to end them. So this relationship seems to be going right along his track record. I want things to work out, but I don't think I can trust him. I don't know if he has ever hooked up with anyone while we were together. He claims he's never cheated... I don't trust he would give me the honest truth on that. We have a lot in common and for once everyone in my life loves the guy I'm with. I have invested a lot of time becoming close with his family and friends so that makes this decision that much harder. Other than his loyalty, we have no other problems just a few normal disagreements here and there. I don't feel sexually secure in our relationship due to all of this. I am just so lost on if I should give him one last chance to make it right or walk away. I don't know how trust can be gained at this point and I am broken/torn. I feel stupid for trusting him again. We were planning on moving in together at the end of my lease which is in November, our 11 month mark. But I don't even know if I want to do that now. I love him but at this point I'm not falling in love with him anymore. He has burned me and I can forgive him but I'll never forget it. I told him I needed some time to think things over because I didn't want to make a decision out of anger. Of course, the main answer going through my head is to just let him go because he is obviously claiming to be single and talking to others. But then he cries to me and tells me how much he wants me in his life forever and will do anything to make this right. * What do I do? * How can I take a step back from this? Advice please!!!?
  3. I want to ask my boyfriend a TON of cute questions, such as "Why is it when you smile, everyone just stares?" or "How is it your voice can sooth me when I'm in full-panic mode?" or "What does it feel like to be perfect?" Stuff like that. Help?
  4. Last night I dreamed I was trying to win the heart of one of my best friends, Abigail (since I first met her two years ago, she has been like a sister to me--until my feelings changed one day). In my dream, she had a boyfriend (in waking life, she doesn't--she's holding off on relationships until she's fully mature and established with a life of her own). It was this super-tall (and I mean unusually tall--inhumanly tall) Jewish guy (we're Baptists). I'm able to convince her to break up with him and go out with me instead. And then her boyfriend, who I have no clue is actually a golem (he doesn't look like a golem--he looks human, all flesh and blood, although he is, as I've said, unusually tall), attacks me. What in the world? What could my dream mean?
  5. So, I like a guy, but I'm not sure how he feels about me. At times I have felt that he is interested, other times I believe he sees me as just a friend. I've known him for around 3 months. He works at a bar/restaurant that I have become a regular at - this is one of the main things that confuses the issue. Is he being friendly to me because I am mainly a customer to him? We have become friends, and I don't believe he sees me only as a customer, as I am treated differently to other customers, and have become friends with the owners. I do try to flirt with him, but I admit I'm not very good! Maybe he doesn't realize I'm interested in him. I would like to be more direct and tell him that I am interested in him - but what if he doesn't feel the same way? I can deal with that - I'm already pretty convinced he's not, and would still like to be friends with him. But I feel it would be awkward be around him after. I guess I'm worried about losing him as a friend if I try to see if our relationship could move beyond that. Is it worth taking that risk? Is it likely to damage our friendship? What's the best way to show my interest in not too strong a way? Ideally, I'd like to just find out if he's interested in me first! Thanks! Anonymous poster hash: 95f1c...7a8 Anonymous poster hash: 95f1c...7a8
  6. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 8 months. We fight tons but i always end up getting back with him. I have a couple of scenario's which have really bothered me and im wondering if he is worth my time. - Recently i stayed overnight at his house. We had previously been fighting so I didnt want to have sex with him or anything (i TOLD him this before i came) but we ended up having sex. The whole time. We never do anything except fool around. I am only 17. - The morning after I walk into the dining room and there he is, having breakfast without me. On the phone. He didnt ask or even offer to get me anything. - He never says sweet things - Doesnt even get me a card or says happy b day to me (other then on fb) - He is always working and never sets aside time to spend with me. And when he does its because his dad is out and we can 'fool around' theres tons more but i was just wondering what YOU would do about this? I have told him my concerns many a time but nothing changes. he can never admit he does anything wrong and says i just complain. Are these bad reasons to complain? (This isnt even all of it) Sorry it is so long. Im just breaking down. Any opinions are appreciated
  7. Both of us are at the same college during the year, and have been together for about 7 months. At 5 months, we realized that we weren't going to be able to see each other for nearly the whole summer. And now, 2 months into our attempted long-distance relationship, he called me and told me that he cheated on me (there was only 1 month to go). It was only one time and he feels absolutely horrible about it. He also keeps insisting that he loves me and it was a huge mistake. I'm so hurt by what he did. Everything on the internet would suggest that I should break up with him, but I really care about him and he seemed truly sorry. He said it was purely physical and not emotional. The long-distance thing has been really hard for both of us, and being away he was under a lot of stress. Should I consider forgiving him? Should I even wait for us to talk in person before doing it?
  8. i have been dating this guy for about 3 months now. We have been friends online four 4 years but never met, he always had a crush on me, but for some reason i didnt trust meeting people over the internet. But finally i said sure why not. We went on a date and he the perfect gentleman! Held doors open for me, complimented me alot, very affectionate and on top of that very good looking, fit, very nice income, very smart and successful. I thought i hit the jack pot. But of course dealing with that many pros there has to be a con or two. Didnt see any and couldnt believe it. But the issue was that he wanted to make me his girlfriend fairly fast, im one to take it slow. And he also said i love you pretty fast too. After some thought i was like yes lets be in a relationship. Everything was great the only slight concerns i had was that he said he has bad anger issues that got him in trouble in the past. So lets fast forward. It seems every month he wants to break up cause he feels he doesnt give me enough time *we spend 3 times a week together that is cool with me*, and that him getting his P.h.d. in docterine along with work and me is stressing him out. First im childish and too young, then he feels cause i didnt go to college is bad, i wouldnt fit in with his life style cause i havent accomplish as much yet and that we dont match. He is 27 and im 21. But the break up only last a day or two. He says he see marriage in me and kids and believe i have a pure soul and he just cant see himself with anyone else. He once was engaged but she had died in a car crash and he tells me he hasnt felt this way bout anyone but her and now me. But if he sees all that in me why keep going back in forth with breaking up every month it seems. i have never asked him for material things or money wise cause i can handle my own and he said he was used in the past by selfish women. i havent met his family he has met mine though and my friends. We do go out in public together and so its not like im a secret. I just wish i knew what was going through his mind. i do love him also. What do yall believe is up with him?
  9. First of all I have been with my boyfriend, Jack for 6 years. We're both in our early 20's. We also both still live at home with our parents we are very close though. I am also close to his parents and love them dearly. We are not engaged nor married because I am still taking college courses. Here is my dilemma though. Jack works with his parent at their small business and is extremely lcose to them I mean like we eat dinner with them every night. I feel that it is important for us to spend time together as just a couple and doing our own thing however my boyfriend does not feel the same. He constantly wants to be with them and do nay anything that they are doing. It is extremely frustrating to feel like I am not only dating him but also his parents. They will be going out of town for the weekend nad have asked that we meet them where they're staying for dinner. I told Jack that I would rather stay in town with him because they need to be able to spend the weekend together uninterrupted as do we. I do not want to be mean nor cause a big conflict because his parents and I have never had any trouble but I do want to put my foot down. I want him to realize that I am interested in dating just him and need a break from following them around. I worry that if we get married which would be when I graduate that I will not be his number 1 and he will still cling to his parents. Any advice is extremely helpful! Thanks Anonymous poster hash: d09a0...00d Anonymous poster hash: d09a0...00d
  10. So my boyfriend just finished his paper and snap chatted me a picture of himself half naked (he had shorts on but no shirt) posing and flexing his six pack and everything with that stupid wavy face saying "ya boy is done👌" so I assumed that he sent this to other people too. I know he has other girls as friends on snap chat and it bothered me knowing that he could have sent that picture to those girls. It's just me being that I'm his girlfriend, I don't appreciate him sending snaps like that to other girls unless he wanted attention from them. So would it be okay for me to be half naked in my bra and shorts and send that to other guys? I'm just so angry right now. But seeing that most people would say "oh he's a guy it's only bad if he sends naked pictures not half naked thats stupid," I was wondering if me being upset and hurt is too dramatic or too much for this kind of thing?
  11. So the guy I'm seeing says we're dating, but not in a relationship (i.e. not boyfriend/girlfriend). Is that just a fancy way of saying friends with benefits? He's said he likes to wait a while before actually making things official, but we've already had that backwards? I asked him specifically if we were just friends with benefits and he told me "friends don't look at eachother the way I look at you". Thoughts? Should I continue in hopes it evolves into an actual relationship or quit now?
  12. At first I wasnt really bothered by it because I wasnt that serious with him, but now that we are serious.. and they are going to be living together, I feel extremely uncomfortable. My friend isn't his type at all, and honestly isnt attractive at all either. I'm not trying to be shallow, I just think I'm his type and she isnt. He even told me multiple times he isnt attracted to her. But the thing is, she has sex a lot, and with a lot of people. I trust him but I dont really trust her at all. She says he's like a brother to her but that doesnt really make me feel any better. Today she was talking to me about how excited she is to be living with him and how they have to go furniture shopping soon. She was also saying she can't wait to become best friends with his mom?? Those are things I want to happen with me?!?! I just feel like those are things couples do and it doesnt sit right with me at all. I was just expecting them to be roomates but I feel like they are going to start hanging out and getting really close. I dont know how to talk to him about this without him thinking I'm way too clingy. This just sucks and i'm feeling extremely anxious about it. Some advice would be amazing!!
  13. So I've met a fantastic guy who I absolutely love spending time with, and things are going well - however, I know that in about a year and a half I'll be moving back to Japan, and it's possible that in a few months I might go back for a few weeks. I told myself I wasn't going to look for any romantic interests while I was here, but it just happened without me looking for it. Am I just setting myself up for the fall later? There's always a fall. I'm afraid of getting hurt. What should I do?
  14. I'm 30 years old and this is my first relationship. I started dating a friend of mine around 1 month ago. He was very promiscuous during his teens, but his last relationship lasted for 7 years (we are same age). They broke up last year (she cheated and is now pregnant with her new guy's child, with whom she has been living for the past 10 months). I told him we needn't be a couple if he's not ready to date. He said that he didn't want to have a girlfriend at the moment but likes me very much so he would like for us to be a couple. I was fine with this. I see some red flags in our relationship, even though this is my first one. You comments would be very much appreciated: He displays a very self-destructive behaviour when out with his friends (heavy drinking mainly) and blames me when I show concern ("it is very early for me to go on and change the unhealthy lifestyle I developed after the break up"). Lack of empathy (for example, I wanted to meet and he did not care and went drinking with his friends; refuses to make our relationship public on Facebook because "after all we have just kissed a couple times, a relationship needs time to develop and get stronger"). When asked if he is serious about me, he says he is but "we can never be sure about anything or put much hope into the relationship, look at what happened with my last (cheating) girlfriend, she also promised we would be forever together". He does not value the efforts I make. I always pay for our meals because he is unemployed and he jokes that I am rich. He expects me to kiss him and stuff, but he never initiates the cuddling. He really wants to have sex, but I cannot do it now because of cultural reasons (I was raised conservatively, I would not like to have sex unless I clearly see that we are going to be together long-term). I am wondering if giving him my virginity would improve things, or if I should break up with him, or what...
  15. Hi all, So Monday night (tonight is Wednesday where I am) my boyfriend and I had a normal conversation and everything was fine. Then I sent him a picture I thought was funny on facebook messenger. He texted me "Leave me alone." I asked him what was wrong and he didn't reply. I haven't heard from him since. I don't think he is mad at me (at least he'd better not be) because nothing happened. I don't know what's wrong with him. Should I call him? I want to reach out to him so he knows that whatever he's going through I want to help with, but he did ask to be left alone. I'm worried about him though because he usually calls me every day and now it has been two days. Also, am I within my rights to feel a little offended and hurt that he isn't speaking to me? Or am I being unreasonable? Thanks for reading, and for your help!
  16. Hello, I'm Samantha. I met this guys sometime ago and we really hit it off. He was one of the sweetest guys I met. Always so nice and caring. He understood where I came from when I decided to tell him about my depression and struggle with self harm. I learned that he also suffered from that too, including suicidal thoughts and actually attempting it. With every deep and understanding conversation we had, my feelings grew more. It turned out that he liked me too and asked me out. I was so happy because I finally thought I found someone who REALLY understood.. But then things started getting out of hand. Not even within 2 days of dating, he would ask me to send him nudes and flash at him when we were alone. He was infatuated with the thought of what my body looked like and wasn't afraid to tell me. He knows I have limits and that I'm not okay with those kind of things, yet he continuously asks me for them. It grew to the point where his friends wanted to see me too and one time literally BEGGED for me to send them to "prove a point." He's always talking about also having sex with me when in fact we're only 15 and I don't feel ready for something like that but he just doesn't seem to listen. Not only that, but also early into the relationship (around maybe the 3rd day) it grew from "I like you." to "I'm deeply in love with you." in an instant. while we would text, he would also always tell me things like "I can't live without you." or "I would probably have killed myself already if I didn't have you." or "When I'm not talking to you, I want to die." He also always has to have my attention, even when I tell him before hand that I won't be able to talk certain times of the day (usually during school because I have to put my phone away during class) and within a class period, I would get around 50 messages constantly saying "Are you there?", "Sam? Please talk to me?" "Why are you ignoring me?" I don't want to sound like a bitch on this but I just feel suffocated... It's been about 2 weeks of dating him and I'm starting to get stressed out. He wasn't the same sweet guy I thought I knew and I don't feel comfortable around him anymore.. I want to break up with him but with his passed suicide attempts, I really do believe he might do something if I do try to break things off. I'm scared for his life if I do break up with him.. I'm just so stuck...
  17. My boyfriend was skyping me and my young sisters were playing with me, then when I was clipping my sister's nails he said "you're such a mom" haha and I'm just curious if that's an attractive quality in a girl because I know I love a man who plays with kids! Possibly it goes both ways because of evolutionary stuff
  18. ive been in a relationship with this guy for 5 months., it was problems. then suddenly all of a sudden he snapped and wanted to end it. he says he's not into the relationship and says this should be a 2.person thing. im a very patient person and even he leaves me wonderin all the time..i didnt pull out on him coz i have feelings and he makes me happy. he decides to remaim friends, its beem a month and we bumped into each other twice..we still constantly talk on text or phone, we meet up to...dinner etc.. i cant just be friends coz i have feelings for him, i wanna fix this and reconcile but it seems like i cant make him crack and give this another chance. he's very stubborn and just wont let the break up get in the way with his pride..i know,by instict this is not what he wants..but has to do..coz he got busy with work and other work related stuff..i really dont know if i should give up or keep chasing pavements? Anonymous poster hash: a8720...6c5
  19. I know about "Imagine what she'd do to you if you went out" bullcrap .... I'm just wondering how to go about this. She definitely likes me and keeps complaining about her boyfriend. I told that I couldn't hang around waiting and that she needs to make a choice between me and him. She's told me stuff like "You're literally the only guy who's properly tempting me. Many guys have tried chatting me up, but never worked - unlike you". She's on my course, so I see her often. What do I do?