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*Em[[iLy]]* posted a topic in LifeMe (25/f) and my SO (26/m) have been together for 8 months now. During these 8 months, I have found him on single hookup websites. He swears that he loves me and he won't do it again after every time I have found him doing this. After finally looking on his phones history, I found over 10 websites he has profiles on and conversations I wish I could unsee. This is now the 4th time I have found him doing this. I am left again, hurt and upset. He wants us to work out but I am honestly thinking about ending it. I asked him why he does it and he has no answer for me. He just says "I don't know why. I F***** up, I'm sorry" I am so tired of hearing I'm sorry, it doesn't fix anything. He has told me all of his relationships only last a little shy of a year long and he has never been the one to end them. So this relationship seems to be going right along his track record. I want things to work out, but I don't think I can trust him. I don't know if he has ever hooked up with anyone while we were together. He claims he's never cheated... I don't trust he would give me the honest truth on that. We have a lot in common and for once everyone in my life loves the guy I'm with. I have invested a lot of time becoming close with his family and friends so that makes this decision that much harder. Other than his loyalty, we have no other problems just a few normal disagreements here and there. I don't feel sexually secure in our relationship due to all of this. I am just so lost on if I should give him one last chance to make it right or walk away. I don't know how trust can be gained at this point and I am broken/torn. I feel stupid for trusting him again. We were planning on moving in together at the end of my lease which is in November, our 11 month mark. But I don't even know if I want to do that now. I love him but at this point I'm not falling in love with him anymore. He has burned me and I can forgive him but I'll never forget it. I told him I needed some time to think things over because I didn't want to make a decision out of anger. Of course, the main answer going through my head is to just let him go because he is obviously claiming to be single and talking to others. But then he cries to me and tells me how much he wants me in his life forever and will do anything to make this right. * What do I do? * How can I take a step back from this? Advice please!!!?
A year ago this month a three year relationship I was in ended. She left me for another man but I understand why. For the first year it was great we loved each other did fun things ect.. The last two years though I seemed to become emotionally abusive to her. A few examples are I wouldn't like when she hung out with her guy friends alone, I would often get jealous, I wouldn't threaten to break up with her or take back a promise ring I bought for her, I made her feel like anything she did wasn't good enough. Since this break up I have been going in and out of depression. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for what I put her through and I want to change. After the break up I dropped out of two semesters of college because I just couldn't focus on anything. 6 months ago I lost my job of 3.7 years because I was often late due to my depression. Currently I am in school but I am falling behind and I am feeling overwhelmed. This past year I have lost a lot of my friends that I've had since high school. Currently I only have two distant friends left and I am worried I will also lose them as well. I am very antisocial I get nervous when I leave my house or talk to people. I feel like everyone is judging me. I have trouble keeping eye contact or even talking to people because my mind goes blank. So I end up staying in my house during all my free time. I feel so hopeless like these feelings will never go away. I can't focus on anything my mind is just filled with a thick fog. All I do is procrastinate. My therapist gave me vyvanse two weeks ago because when I was younger I was diagnosed with ADHD but all it seems to be doing is making me more depressed and unable to focus. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like nothing will get me out of this place which makes me think what is the purpose of living a life where I just hurt the ones I love and feel all these negative feelings everyday. All I want is to be happy and become someone if life with a family that I could love.