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badwolf posted a topic in LifeIt took a little digging to find the new site. I have missed it! I'm sorry this is so long, and I hope I have posted it in the right place. But I would really like some advice or kind words. I feel overwhelmed and I'm not sure what to do. My BF (of 2 1/2 years) and I went camping with his family this weekend, which was stressful and our part was organized by me alone. That's a whole other ball of wax, but my bf's mother informed us that his dad's brother and wife were going to be in town this coming weekend, from Texas (we are in California). My bf hasn't seen them in probably ten years. On top of that, since they are coming, his other Aunt is coming, and they are celebrating his only grandma's 79th birthday, and we are both expected to be there. A bit last minute. We had been planning to help MY parents install their new flooring this weekend for 2 months. But I can't, and won't, insist that my BF not see his family because we have to help mine install flooring, even if it is last inconveniently last minute. So I called my dad up as soon as I got home, as I needed to wish them a happy anniversary and ask if we can install the flooring the following weekend. Well, my dad got very irritated. I told him that I wasn't happy about it either, and I'm not, but I can't really do anything about it. My BF is the more valuable one as far as knowing how to install that flooring, but honestly we just installed it in our new place, and that's the only reason we know anything. And, by the way, we did that without any help from them, since they were on a long vacation. So he gets all stony and cold, so I ask to talk to his wife (we get a long very very well), and inform her of what is going on and she was equally irritated with me. She said it just seemed like his family interrupted their plans a lot. Their plans? I can think of 1 or 2 times in 2 1/2 years. Mine? yeah, a lot. But my parents have ruined our plans as well and we've rescheduled or missed things with my bf's side too. I get handed back to my dad, where he asks me what day it is, then I remember I was going to wish them a happy anniversary, and all I got back was, "did you tell ____(his wife) that?" And I said no, but explained that I mean to, I just got side tracked with that conversation and all the billion other things going on (Tagged her in a Facebook post after, with a photo I had taken at the wedding and wished them a Happy Anniversary again, got "thanks"). I called them like 20 minutes after I parked my car in the driveway. We can't do the floors the following weekend because it's his wife's granddaughter's birthday and they are driving over to visit them. Then my dad, all mad, says that he guesses he just won't go. Or maybe he'll just do the floors himself. blah blah blah. And I try explaining its hard to make things work, and schedule things between the two families. He always acts like I have absolute control over everything that happens. Then get's mad at me when I don't make things go his way. His wife's kids are never there to help with anything. Just earlier this year we went over two weekends in a row to help him put up a new fence. He always gets grouchy and rude during these projects too. I texted my BF after that and told him my dad wasn't happy with me, and he said that he could just install the flooring himself then. Which didn't help. I'm just feeling pressure from all sides to appease everybody, and also the pressure on myself to do what I think is the right thing. I told him that I'd try to nail down exactly what is happening with the bf's family and I'd call him back today. But honestly, my only option is to just drive the 2 hours over there by myself this weekend and try to be as helpful as I can. And also deal with his bad attitude during the install. But now I'm just angry. I don't want to help him now. I generally have a good relationship with my father, and his wife..but I'm just mad. I'm mad that they apparently gave no thought to everything I have going on, they don't listen when I try to talk about my issues with stress and anxiety, he just gets mad when I'm not at his beck and call, and when we go help him with something he always ends up being very rude during the project. And I also think its wrong that they would want my BF to ignore his whole family to go help them with FLOORS, or at least wrong that they are putting so much pressure on me to somehow make that happen. Hell, last Thanksgiving, when they wanted me to come over and I told him that my BF and I needed to go to his parent's because his brother who is in the military would be home for it, a rare occurrence, my dad got so mad at me. Said we had spent last thanksgiving with them, when we didn't, we were alone for it because both sets of our parents were out of town visiting other family members. Mine were only a few hours away visiting one of his wife's kids, but its not like I was even invited anyway. Then we went and did Christmas with them and stayed for 5 DAYS. I would understand the frustration if I never called, or visited, or helped when they asked, but I DO. All the time. Even when it is inconvenient for me. Any advice in dealing with this? I want to call him up and chew him out, or at least say that I won't be coming at all and I'm disappointed in his behavior. I realize I can't please everyone all the time..but no one else seems to be realizing this. I hate last minute changes myself. I don't want any of this to be happening. I feel overwhelmed with my family, my BF's family, seeing my BF have such a hard time with his family, helping him, with school, with work, my anxiety and depression. I had a meltdown last night...I'm in college right now getting my BA. My dad has been helping me out by having me on his cell plan and paying for my car insurance, he also helped me pay for a car repair I couldn't afford last year, and, this car being my first, he helped me get that too and its in his name. I feel like maybe that is part of the reason I'm in the beck and call position, but I know that part of it is that it is just his personality and I'm his only child. I'm not ungrateful. I help him all the time. I call just to say hi and ask how they are doing. I'm always trying to be helpful. I'm repeating myself. Please, any advice would be very much appreciated. I want to throw my hands up in the air, chew him out, and ask my BF to help me maybe buy the car from him, and pay the insurance, registration, etc. I also just wish I could be more independent and not owe anybody..but that's why I'm in school, getting A's, and digging myself into debt. HELP.