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Found 13 results

  1. In my mind I’m better. I’m smarter, more focused, more desired, more respectable, and just all around better so why does she get to experience this before me? I don’t mean any harm by this and don’t intend to act out of it. I’ve done a good job of controlling this because I know what it’s about. It’s my ego. The same ego that inspires me to be great and pursue my dreams makes me angry, irritated and depressed at the thought of another woman getting to something before me even though I make myself so available to that very thing. It’s not even about it being just*anything*. It’s about love. True love. That’s MY thing. I’m the Cancer sign. I’m the lover and hippy and hopeless romantic. She’s a Gemini lol. She gets to say she has experienced love and has someone that’s in love with her right now. She leaves in the middle of the night and gets texts and phone calls and has intimacy. Yeah their relationship is a mess, they’re not together (or ever really were officially to begin with), she’s distracted from school and I would never want their drama. But at least they HAVE something. I’m green with envy. Every part of me hates this fact. What’s wrong with me? Someplace deep down I know I’m happy for her and I hope everything works out for her and Peter. However, the snooty egotistical part of me wants it all to go wrong for her so she won’t get to true love and happiness before me. It wouldn’t be fair. She is promiscuous, has daddy issues, lets guys walk all over her, and is not as pretty as me. So what’s the deal? Please know that I’d NEVER admit this to anyone. I ‘m barely allowing myself to admit this feeling to myself without judgement. I’m trying to express this and let it go. Because there’s a lot of pain here. It’s not her fault and again this has nothing to do with her as a person. She has great qualities. She is cute, she dresses nicely, she’s down to earth and a talented writer and cook. I care about her. She’s friendly and she’s good at making websites lol. I’m sure she’d be a very loving wife/girlfriend/mother/sister, etc. She is wise but I’m more mature I think. I make better grades and better decisions lol. I want her to be happy but the little girl in me is rolling around on the floor throwing a tantrum and screaming at how unfair the world is. I’ve shied away from this feeling, shoot I didn’t even understand it at first but I think I get it now. *I* want be a great lover/friend/sister/mom/wife/girlfriend. *I* want to be a great cook. *I* want to be talented. I mean, those last two things I know will come with time so I’m not too pressed. I’m only in college. But the love part? That gets to my core. Because I’m putting in effort and want it SO badly. I’ve dreamed about this since I understood what true love is. I’m sure every little girl has but I always felt that I felt it stronger because I’m such a sensitive person. I’m frustrated because I can’t make it happen on my own. So I’m here wanting and desiring something that is totally out of my control. Hopeless romantic. I’m such a driven and goal-oriented person it’s so unbelievable that this isn’t one of those things I can write down and make happen. Just by the power of intention. That’s how I manifest all of my other goals. But for some reason this one has yet to happen. I think as long as I see myself as a lover and hopeless romantic and desire this “out-of-this-world†kind of true love I will always be jealous of her. So how do I move on from this? How do I suppress my ego? I do my best to give her neutral advice when she comes to me and not talk down about her guy or tell her to leave him, even when it was going badly. I gave her the power to decide and didn’t let my jealousy get the better of me. But how can I genuinely be happy for her without any resentment? Because I think behind the jealousy is a lot of pain. I want to be a good friend to her. How can I be patient for my own love story especially when I feel like I’m drifting and not making any headway with the guys I’m interested in? It takes a lot of strength to make good decisions about guys and I'm lucky to have family to guide me in the right direction. But what if all I get out of that is loneliness in the end? Much love CollegeGirl
  2. So I'm writing a story about friends who make a pact to always be there for each other. And I need a sort of "secret handshake" for the guys (the girls aren't into the whole handshake thing). It's based off of Antony's speech in Julius Caesar (friends, romans, countrymen). So far, all I've got is "Friends" (high-five) and "Romans" (they do the Roman handshake). I can't come up with anything for "Countrymen". P.S. There are eight people total in the group--four guys, four girls. I'm having a hard time with names. I've only got one so far--Seraphine.
  3. So I have a group of friends. And in that group, we had a friend who was 17 at that time. My friend "Iggy" (not his real name) was 20 at that time. And he had the hots for "Cassie" (who was, as I have mentioned, 17 at that time). We were thinking that would be jail bait even though they were only three years apart. So our friend "Monty" talked to "Iggy" and advised him to stay away from "Cassie". Because A: "Cassie" was getting uncomfortable and she didn't like him, and B: She was just 17 and she's a minor when he's not. And then "Monty's" brother "Jonas" talks to him too, telling him the same thing. "Iggy" was happy to back off, but then "Monty" started acting weird, holding "Cassie's" hand, putting his arm around her shoulders, her waist. Being super sweet and friendly with her. Whenever we hung out, even if "Cassie" had money, "Monty" would say it was on him. "Iggy" didn't like that and called "Monty" a hypocrite. However, "Monty" swears to this day he was just being a protective, caring big brother figure to "Cassie". So "Iggy" leaves the group. We did manage to win him back two years ago. Fast forward to last year. Everything's okay in our circle of friends now--things were almost back to the way they were before. But then "Iggy" hears from "Cassie" that she actually fell in love with "Monty". So now he's gone again. How do we fix this? How do we win him him back?
  4. Whenever I'm with my friends, I always feel like I'm Robin or something. And they get to be Batman. Like I'm always the sidekick, always there for the big guy when he needs it. Like Robin living under Batman's shadow, you know? I never get to be the big bad Bat. They never give me a chance to take the lead. We have Bible study every Saturday and almost every Saturday, my friend the youth group leader always leads. When he's not leading, it's his best friend who does (who I'm also friends with). If not his best friend, his brother does it. Or if not his brother, then another mutual friend. Like it's just the four of them. I'm capable. I know my stuff. I'm able. And yet they never let me take the wheel. Do I have a right to be jealous?
  5. I have a friend who seriously takes offense at my introversion. At the start of our friendship, he would compliment me and say how good a friend I am, how I just listen and never interrupt when he has something to say. As the years wore on, however, he began complaining that he doesn't really know me and that I never talk to him (Objection, Your Honor, that is a lie!). Also, he accuses me of being too idealistic and "seeing the world through rose-colored lenses", that I'm living in a fantasy world where good always triumphs over evil, that I refuse to see the truth, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Duh! That's how I am! Yes, I see evil in the world, but I also try to see the good as much as I can! Guys, what do I do with this guy? He won't be reasoned with!
  6. Why does the friendship have to be sacrificed? Why ask the question "Are you prepared to lose them as a friend"? I've attended some weddings where the bride says the groom is her best friend and vice-versa (the groom says in his vow that she's his best friend). A professor of mine said that about marriage--imagine being married to your best friend. So why ask that question? I don't get it.
  7. So I moved to California when I was 18 (had my 19th birthday here), and I did make friends. But even after nine years, I still feel like the outsider. The odd one out. Sure, I hang out with them. We talk. I laugh at their jokes (my jokes are too lame to laugh at). But I still feel like I don't belong. Even after nine years of being friends with them. It's like I'm near the circle but not in it. Will I ever fit in?
  8. All of my closest friends came from college and work, but now that it's been a few years since I left college and switched jobs, I'm realizing that I don't really have that many friends. I work all day and am usually too tired to go out, plus I'm pretty shy. I don't work with people my own age, which is how I made friends with people in the past. Have any of you successfully established friendships with people you didn't work with or go to school with? Anonymous poster hash: 13574...f85
  9. It is said that a Jedi shall not know "anger, nor hatred, nor love." I get the other two, but the last? I'm confused.... The Master-Padawan relationship is something akin to that of friendship and brotherhood (like a big brother looking out for his younger brother, or sister in the case of female Jedi). And on Mustafar, Obi-Wan said that he "loved" Anakin. Aren't the Jedi going against their own code, then?
  10. Two of the very few friends I had in high school (I was an outcast, a dork, and bullied, but I had few good friends that made high school life bearable) have kids now, and because I'm no longer in Vermont, they found a proxy for me. And so I'm a godfather to their kids--which is, frankly, a surprise for me (I guess they want life-long connections). But being a godfather is new for me. Like, what do they do and stuff? What am I responsible for?
  11. My bff and I used to be thick as thieves for the longest time. We kind of grew up together, in away. We've known each other since we were around ten, that's nearing twenty years now. But, we have been growing apart these last few, but we seem to be sticking together....just because we've known each other forever. It's sad to say, but we've grown up two different people, with different interest and nothing to really talk about. Which is funny because we started out the same way, different. Heck, if I met her today I doubt we'd become friends. You have know idea how much I hate those annoying awkward silences we sit through because we don't really have anything to talk about and when we do it's just meaningless small talk to try and fill the silence. She even gets mad at me because of this always accusing me of "no longer talking to her." ...And she's right, because I really don't have anything to share. I guess maybe apart of me just stopped caring awhile ago, because I used to share my opinion or advice to her all the time. Which in return I got nothing but a person scuffing or mocking those opinions and never taking my advice doing whatever she wanted. I can no longer bring myself to care about her problems, because they are always the same problems. I never share my problems because I get nothing in return. She gets mad at me a lot because I'm not always there for her. Who cares, if I live over 45 miles away and have a job that keeps me busy. See the latest problem is that, I was unable to take off work and find a ride down to the funeral of her mom. Even though I took off a couple days to stay with her in the hospital giving support the best I could. But no," I'm so fucked up because I couldn't go to her moms funeral." Who cares that I myself just went through an important death in my family a mere month before. Constantly going back in forth to the hospital, taking off work, watching my family hurt and hurting a lot myself. And where was she....Oh, I got phone call that was all the support I got. But did I demand her to come and hold my hand through it, No. Maybe, I'm a bitch for feeling this way, but I can't help what I feel. I do feel guilt though, over wanting our friendship to end when she's already hurting from the lose of her mom. But, I don't know what to do anymore. I always have to talk myself in to spending time with her and than feeling like a shit friend for leaving earlier than I intended. Like that time I went to her baby's first birthday and feeling so out of place I faked sick just so I could leave. I hate the fact that I have to pretend to be someone else so she doesn't mock me and make me feel bad. Just to have her tell me she's' just joking. to stop being so serious.' It's frightening how easy it is to ignore her for a couple of weeks and then guilt sets in and I start talking to her again because I'm scared to lose her. And I can't figure out why?
  12. My brother and I have always been very close. We were sheltered a lot as kids so we were always together and after college we started to share even more interests. He just started a new job in a big city nearby (like 12 miles away as opposed to the 2 miles we used to live apart) and since then he's really hard to get in touch with. I'm very happy that he has all these new friends and that he's doing what he loves...I can tell he's happier than he was in college. But I also really miss him. We used to hang out whenever work/social life allowed and used to have random conversations over text messaging...now he barely replies to my messages and if he does it's always way later with some story about why he couldn't reply sooner. I keep trying to be supportive of his new life and I don't think I've been obnoxious about contacting him. Trying to give him space, not getting involved, contacting him less now than I would have a few months ago since I know he's busy. But it still hurts that he hardly seems to bother anymore and I can't help but feel that things are never going to be the same again. It sucks. Anonymous poster hash: 24d7b...fee
  13. I have a friend (I'm not sure is he really...) and I need your advice on what to do......So here's the story: we know each other since we started high-school (3 years) and he was annyoing at first but I decided to give him a chance.Now he knows a lot about me and I know a lot about him, but he has a strange personality.One moment he ignores me and the other it's like i'm his only friend (because he tells me things that are happening in his family, what he has been doing for the past couple of days etc.) and he is mostly ignoring me on social networks (he sees the message, rarely responds but mentions the message the next day).When I try to ask him why is he behaving like that, he doesn't say anything......What should I do? Anonymous poster hash: 84169...216