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Found 71 results

  1. Hello all, Took me awhile to re-find this website. Looks like it's had a bit of a makeover. Who would like to share with me their personal experiences making a difficult decision of deciding whether someone was right or not right for you? To clarify - this is making a decision to pursue a relationship with someone, not a decision whether to stay with or leave someone. I'd like to know why the decision was difficult, what factors you took into account to help with your decision, and whether it worked or didn't work out. I thought about sharing my own conundrum, but I think the question framed in this way will help me with the pickle I'm in . Thanks in advance for your time and sharing.
  2. I am so lost and can't seem to be okay. Long story short... At the beginning of the year, I lost my mother on my birthday. I have been numb to it on and off. I just try to shut it out of my head. My boyfriend tried to be here for me but with my depression becoming worse, he didn't know how to. He helped me get signed up for a therapist and see a doctor. I haven't started therapy yet and I really need to cuz I feel like I'm losing it... Then a month ago, a tornado took out my boyfriends house. Nothing could be saved. I tried to gather as many donations I could get to help him out. I'm trying to be here for him and his family but he is constantly shutting me out. He has started being really mean towards me.. it is now to the point where he won't answer the phone or any texts.. When I do see him, he is never in a good mood and tells me how annoying I am when I am in a bubbly happy mood. I've noticed even towards his mom he is in a bad mood. He has quit his job and barely leaves his hotel room. He has fallen into a depression, which is completely understandable. Today, he finally answered the phone and he didn't have anything nice to say. He told me I needed to be free of him and walk away. He feels nothing is going to get better and he doesn't want to continually drag me down with him. This really hurts me because I love him so deep. I can't imagine life without him. He used to say we were soulmates and now he won't even look at me. He's the only person I have since my mom has passed. I literally feel like I can't take anymore. I just want to be okay... I don't know what to do, I'm so lost and hurt. I just want to wake up from this nightmare. How can I support him? How can this relationship be turned around?
  3. So I was in a long term relationship for almost a decade when things weren't going so well(and both of us agree they really weren't) we decided to end it(moved out of our home, switched jobs, different car/place, the whole 9 yards of change). After the relationship we decided not to cut each other out of our lives completely though, and tried and actually managed to stay good friends. I figured if I could keep him around as a friend it would be good, and I would be free to go find romantic/sexual happiness else where. We have been out of our relationship for at least 3 years now probably closer to 4. I've found meeting new people is really difficult since we broke up. I've met new people sparsely over the last 3 years. I haven't found the connection I've been looking for although I did manage to experiment with some sexual fantasies I never got to fulfill and that was fun! But all in all I don't feel like I'm meeting people and making real connections. I'm more nervous than excited when I do meet someone new. There are people out there who are willing to hang with me but my nerves often prevents me from meeting and dating or whatever in the first place, and the nervousness get's in the way of the fun I feel I should be having when I do meet someone new. So I tend to end up with my ex on the couch watching netflix and being friends. I have to wonder what is really going on here. My friendship with my ex has gotten better and better and I've even considered getting back together with him. I still care a lot about him but I'm scared if I went back to that situation, those things that got out of control for a while would come back. I often find myself pushing that idea away and deciding it's not worth the risk to find myself in a similar situation as before. I know what we had at the end is not what I want. It's not what I expected our relationship to turn into. Should I risk that? Or appreciate that we have a great friendship now and go about my fun until something solid comes along? How do you get comfortable with meeting new people after ten years in a monogamous relationship? If we end up getting back together at any point in our lives, I can't help but see all this time apart as a huge waste of time. Except I know if we didn't separate and get away from our situation at the time, I might have died. I was so stressed that I think I was close to heart attack. Not just because of him, but because we were doing life alone and no where I went and no one I went to seemed to care. Jobs were hard, money was hard, our relationship was stressed, sex wasn't happening due to exhaustion and being overworked and still never enough money, we fought. Bad relationship? Or good relationship gone bad due to extraordinary(or maybe all to common?) circumstances? Either way, why would I be considering him or feeling guilty when I go on a date? We're not together and we're both aware our friendship doesn't limit what we do romantically/sexually with others. Very confusing times...
  4. For the last 8 months, I have been dating a guy that is older than me. I really thought my mom and step father would very much dislike it. But no they have no problem about his age. The only thing they didn't really like was the fact that he was Divorced and has a daughter. They got over that though after they met him. I'm just so sick and tired of everyone telling me I need to be careful as soon as they find out our age Difference. Are when they look at me like I'm a victim. I was never the type of girl who would go for guy that are older. I'm just so sick of guys my age they are nothing but huge fuckboy's. Btw I'm 21 and he is 31.
  5. The Yoke of Jesus

    Welcome everyone! I would like to thank all of you for joining me this sermon. Before I start, I would invite all of you to add a prayer request to our Prayer Request Page. We all have something that needs prayer. We all have things that we need help with. Many people find that the Catholic Church is old fashioned, and don’t like going to their services because of that; especially if they normally go to a Pentecostal, or Baptist Church. One of the things about the Catholic Church that is considered old fashioned is the Vestments that the priests wear at mass. Each part of the priestly garb (vestments) has a specific symbolism. The one piece of priestly garb that I want to speak of today is the Stole. What the stole symbolizes is the yoke of Jesus. We are all supposed to take on the yoke of Jesus, because his load is light, and in turn He will help us with our yoke; our burden, which is heavy. Job 31:7-8 (NIV) 7 if my steps have turned from the path, if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, 8 then may others eat what I have sown, and may my crops be uprooted. If we all turn to God, and let Jesus help to carry our yoke, our burden, then the above passage would not have to happen to us. Many of us profess to believe in God. Yet hide that belief. We don’t do as we are called. We are all called to minister to those who have not heard the word… or those who do not believe. We are called to evangelize. This does not mean that we all need to be out on the street corner with a bible in hand shouting out the word of the Lord. In fact most don’t have to change much in how we live. In everyday conversation there is often an opening to talk about God, and how God leads our lives. If we were all to do this it would make a difference. We would be getting God’s word out into the world without being the preachy on the street corner type. And if we trust in God then when we are asked questions about our beliefs, the Holy Spirit will guide our words and heart. We will answer these questions true. Faith is a powerful thing. Faith is what would allow you to take on the yoke of Jesus, and in turn unburden yourself. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” What does it mean to have faith in Jesus? Was Jesus real? Did Jesus die and ascend into Heaven? Or how about is Jesus God? To have faith in Jesus and His teachings is to believe that He is real, He did die and ascend into Heaven, and that He is God. If these statements are not true statements then we are all just a bunch of people worshiping a mad man who rotted away 2000 years ago. Lucky for us though these statements are true; and because of that we can still get help from Jesus with our burden. Jesus, who is God, is still here to take on our burdens. Every one of us has something that presses on our soul. Something that we are ashamed of, or something that troubles us about ourselves. That is something that taking Jesus’ yoke can help us with. Every one of us has a bad relationship with someone else. By following the word of God, we can ease that relationship. Matthew 22:34-40 (NIV) 34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Jesus is telling us in these verses in the simplest of terms the easiest way to take on his yoke. The easiest way to lighten our burden. First and foremost, Love God. If we love God, we believe in Him; we have Faith in Him. And secondly ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ If we did this then we would be able to mend the burnt, or broken bridges in the bad relationships we all have. We all have the need to take on the Yoke of Jesus. We all have the desire to take on the Yoke of Jesus. I challenge you to do so. This week, try and love others as you love yourself. Read the teachings of Jesus. And what I would recommend for this is to read the Gospel of Mark. It is the shortest of the Gospels and it is an easy read. And pray while you read. Remember prayer is about being in communion with God. May God Bless you and Keep you. Granting us all peace and happiness. Thank you for reading this Sermon.
  6. Me (25/f) and my SO (26/m) have been together for 8 months now. During these 8 months, I have found him on single hookup websites. He swears that he loves me and he won't do it again after every time I have found him doing this. After finally looking on his phones history, I found over 10 websites he has profiles on and conversations I wish I could unsee. This is now the 4th time I have found him doing this. I am left again, hurt and upset. He wants us to work out but I am honestly thinking about ending it. I asked him why he does it and he has no answer for me. He just says "I don't know why. I F***** up, I'm sorry" I am so tired of hearing I'm sorry, it doesn't fix anything. He has told me all of his relationships only last a little shy of a year long and he has never been the one to end them. So this relationship seems to be going right along his track record. I want things to work out, but I don't think I can trust him. I don't know if he has ever hooked up with anyone while we were together. He claims he's never cheated... I don't trust he would give me the honest truth on that. We have a lot in common and for once everyone in my life loves the guy I'm with. I have invested a lot of time becoming close with his family and friends so that makes this decision that much harder. Other than his loyalty, we have no other problems just a few normal disagreements here and there. I don't feel sexually secure in our relationship due to all of this. I am just so lost on if I should give him one last chance to make it right or walk away. I don't know how trust can be gained at this point and I am broken/torn. I feel stupid for trusting him again. We were planning on moving in together at the end of my lease which is in November, our 11 month mark. But I don't even know if I want to do that now. I love him but at this point I'm not falling in love with him anymore. He has burned me and I can forgive him but I'll never forget it. I told him I needed some time to think things over because I didn't want to make a decision out of anger. Of course, the main answer going through my head is to just let him go because he is obviously claiming to be single and talking to others. But then he cries to me and tells me how much he wants me in his life forever and will do anything to make this right. * What do I do? * How can I take a step back from this? Advice please!!!?
  7. So I'm 33

    As I sit here at my friends house because I drank to much. I can't help but think about where my life is. I've had it all and lost it more times than I can count, I would like to blame my x wife but in reality it's not all her fault. Ove done one the drugs, the drinking, the late night parrting, I've never gone to school, everything I know I taught myself. So what am I do? I grind 24/7 I work from home so I'm always on call! I don't get to see my kids because of the lies and liberal justice system that is Northern VA until Feb 2017... yes ive got good friends but because of everything I'm involved in and everything I'm doing I can not risk getting involved with them if anything happens. i struggle with depression on a daily basis only to look at my phone to see pictures of my kids on my phone, or memories on Facebook. I stay busy to keep focus on what I'm doing so I don't get des pressed, recently a new women has stepped into my life that has really helped me out a lot. Just her smile brightens up my day. I try to act like a rock for everyone around me, because they rely on me for guidance but in reality I'm falling apart. I dont knowd these these are the thoughts of a guy sober up after a long night of drinking and talking about life an where we are!
  8. Death and Us

    Death is a natural part of life. I think we all understand that. However it doesn't make it any easier when it happens. When you love someone or something such as an animal. They become part of your life, your companion, your friend, and when they pass you feel lost, empty, alone. It's times like this when family and friends really show themselves. These people will do everything you can to make you feel better. Even aquaintences will do what they can. Just to help you feel better, with kinds words and support. now in my case family over the years minus of course having kids has really become something important for me. I grew up in a military family, trav.ing around the country and rarely seeing my family and when we did it was a week long vacation to Boston. So splitting our time between all the family was tough. i remember the first person who died in my family. It was my great grandmother. For years she had struggled with dimensha. I remember a time when we went home to see them. And it seemed to be a good conversation with her (she was having a good day. So my Grandma Wanda starts asking my sister and I what we wanted to do when we grow up. My sister says a Vet, I tell her I want to be a solder like my father. We change topics and her dimensha starts to kick in. She asks me again, I repeat my answer, she asks again, I say the same thing. So shortly before we leave she asked me again, and I told her. Grandma I would like be a proctologist. My parents start laughing. She never asked me again. I just blurted out an answer I had no idea. So we say our goodbyes and we get tin the car. My mother looks back and me and goes Ryan... Do you know what a proctologist so is? I was like no but she kept asking me so I just said something. My mom replays. "Ryan a proctologist is a butt Doctor". Yep... That's right I told my Great grandmother I was going to be a butt Doctor. Good times. The next was the loss of my new born 05. Not really much to say about this. He was born 15 weeks early, my x wife was told she could fly. So she went home on vacation while I was on TDY getting ready to deploy to Iraq. Well she shouldn't have. She went into labor 3 days later. So on August 27th my son John Anthony was born named after our fathers. He died 13 days later in my arms, the only time I got to hold him. I was 21 at the time. The nurse was heart broken, he dropped to his knees and just started crying. He was the dedicated nurse to my son, and did everything he could. But my lil mans lungs where just not strong enough. I never got to express my emissions for this. I was a soldier, getting ready to deploy to Iraq, my young wife needed my strength and we had a 1 year old daughter to take care of. But I have a tatto on my right chest that I see every morning so I never forget him. He was buried in Arlington Cemetary and when I pass on, he will be dug up and I placed under neath him, once again resting on me. since then, I've lost two aunts, a few friends in the wars. Death is never easy. It hurts. We want them back, we always question if the was something we should have said. But the ones we love wouldn't want us to morn them. But celebrate their life, our love, their friendship. They wouldn't want us to stop what we are doing and fall apart, but continue to live and love and push on. Its hard! It's not something that you just flip a switch and say " Okay I'm done greeving". Greeving is okay. It's healthy, if your greeving, reach out to your friends, your family, talk with them, laugh with them. Remember the good times of the one you lost. It will get better. I promise you all!!! It will get better!
  9. Just two days before, i met a girl in a college function. She is my friend's friend. Since then am not able to not think of her. I don know why is it so, even it's not that i haven't seen more beautiful girls than her but i think i am in love with her. Please tell me what to do now ?
  10. i met this girl soon we became friends and i really love her a lot. later i proposed her and she accepted readily. things went quite good for a little while and then she wouldn't show up, doesn't attend my calls, even not a reply for messages. when i asked what is wrong she said that she didn't love me and im only a good friend. as i cant be just friend with her i moved on, but she wouldn't leave me and even said she can't lose me as a friend. this debate went on for days and finally we decided to move on. months later she started contacting me, i reluctantly responded and started ignoring her. one day i didn't wish on her birthday and the next day she showed up and gone mad at me. she felt so hurt when i didn't lift her calls. again when i asked whether she loves me she said the same. she knew how much i love her and she knew that i still do, but being her friend hurts me a lot. i cant go on like this forever, so i told her that i want to make a new start and seeing each other will make things worse, so we must go separate ways.she responded saying " fine! this is the last, and i'll never show my face to u ". she left crying. its been many days and no word from her. im sure it did hurt her a lot, but being just a friend there is no need to be that hurt.. I've gone through hell to say goodbye, i still need her so desperate. and i don't want to lose the tiniest of the chances coz she means a lot to me. she never gave me any clarity. please can anyone tell what she is upto.
  11. In my mind I’m better. I’m smarter, more focused, more desired, more respectable, and just all around better so why does she get to experience this before me? I don’t mean any harm by this and don’t intend to act out of it. I’ve done a good job of controlling this because I know what it’s about. It’s my ego. The same ego that inspires me to be great and pursue my dreams makes me angry, irritated and depressed at the thought of another woman getting to something before me even though I make myself so available to that very thing. It’s not even about it being just*anything*. It’s about love. True love. That’s MY thing. I’m the Cancer sign. I’m the lover and hippy and hopeless romantic. She’s a Gemini lol. She gets to say she has experienced love and has someone that’s in love with her right now. She leaves in the middle of the night and gets texts and phone calls and has intimacy. Yeah their relationship is a mess, they’re not together (or ever really were officially to begin with), she’s distracted from school and I would never want their drama. But at least they HAVE something. I’m green with envy. Every part of me hates this fact. What’s wrong with me? Someplace deep down I know I’m happy for her and I hope everything works out for her and Peter. However, the snooty egotistical part of me wants it all to go wrong for her so she won’t get to true love and happiness before me. It wouldn’t be fair. She is promiscuous, has daddy issues, lets guys walk all over her, and is not as pretty as me. So what’s the deal? Please know that I’d NEVER admit this to anyone. I ‘m barely allowing myself to admit this feeling to myself without judgement. I’m trying to express this and let it go. Because there’s a lot of pain here. It’s not her fault and again this has nothing to do with her as a person. She has great qualities. She is cute, she dresses nicely, she’s down to earth and a talented writer and cook. I care about her. She’s friendly and she’s good at making websites lol. I’m sure she’d be a very loving wife/girlfriend/mother/sister, etc. She is wise but I’m more mature I think. I make better grades and better decisions lol. I want her to be happy but the little girl in me is rolling around on the floor throwing a tantrum and screaming at how unfair the world is. I’ve shied away from this feeling, shoot I didn’t even understand it at first but I think I get it now. *I* want be a great lover/friend/sister/mom/wife/girlfriend. *I* want to be a great cook. *I* want to be talented. I mean, those last two things I know will come with time so I’m not too pressed. I’m only in college. But the love part? That gets to my core. Because I’m putting in effort and want it SO badly. I’ve dreamed about this since I understood what true love is. I’m sure every little girl has but I always felt that I felt it stronger because I’m such a sensitive person. I’m frustrated because I can’t make it happen on my own. So I’m here wanting and desiring something that is totally out of my control. Hopeless romantic. I’m such a driven and goal-oriented person it’s so unbelievable that this isn’t one of those things I can write down and make happen. Just by the power of intention. That’s how I manifest all of my other goals. But for some reason this one has yet to happen. I think as long as I see myself as a lover and hopeless romantic and desire this “out-of-this-world†kind of true love I will always be jealous of her. So how do I move on from this? How do I suppress my ego? I do my best to give her neutral advice when she comes to me and not talk down about her guy or tell her to leave him, even when it was going badly. I gave her the power to decide and didn’t let my jealousy get the better of me. But how can I genuinely be happy for her without any resentment? Because I think behind the jealousy is a lot of pain. I want to be a good friend to her. How can I be patient for my own love story especially when I feel like I’m drifting and not making any headway with the guys I’m interested in? It takes a lot of strength to make good decisions about guys and I'm lucky to have family to guide me in the right direction. But what if all I get out of that is loneliness in the end? Much love CollegeGirl
  12. Hey everyone, saying it's been a while since I made a post is quite an understatement, lol. However, something came up that's really heavy on my mind. Here goes: In two of my classes this semester, I met this girl (let's call her Cher) who sits near me (in both classes). A part of her story really caught my attention when we were introducing ourselves a few weeks ago. I was one of the last people to introduce myself and when I said my last name and where I was from, I saw out the corner of my eye that she did a double take because not only do we happen to have the same last name, but her hometown is where I was born. The teacher asked if we were related, she quickly said no, lol. Moments later and a few times during the week when I ran into her by chance, she started calling me her 'new' cousin. It felt pretty cool. I never known my father, but from what I had been told, I have long lost relatives in the same place where Cher grew up. Lately, I have been attempting to build a bridge with her. Despite how well we seemed to get a long in the first week (and despite my social skills being MUCH better now), I am having trouble connecting with her. The usual 'one word answers' when I ask her things. She does speak to me in both classes. I don't want to push too hard, but there's a part of me that says it would be super cool if it turned out that we were long lost cousins who met in college. I just wish I knew for sure. For those of you who remember, I don't really have any family and I'm all by myself. It's rough when you see other people having fun with friends and family and you're all alone. I guess I just want to befriend her, even if she is a few years younger than I am. I am having trouble as I don't know what to say to her. The only other thing is that we have similar majors (media related). But as I said, I don't want to push too hard and have her thinking I'm a creep, you know.
  13. Hi everyone, I found this website on Google and was hoping to get some help from people more experienced than me. Please bare with me if this is long and juvenile, I have basically no experience with dating and just need some clarity. Basically I have a huge crush on this guy and everything is going so left. What I think is that he's playing around with my feelings but I want to get more opinions. Long story short I met him two years ago as a freshman because we are in the same research program on my college campus. I thought he was attractive since back then but never really thought too much about it until this year when I became an advisor in the program and started working closer with him. He's a year older than me and became an advisor last year and ironically ended up advising me. This year, I had tried to be really professional and not express my feelings to him since it's a working relationship but it's so hard to control body language. We usually see each other once a week (sometimes not even that often) when we have our seminars and we play around and flirt. I tried to send him hints like sending him a dm (it was my girlfriends who did it actually after I showed them his page on Instagram lol), asking irrelevant questions and I even drunk dialed him on FaceTime and hung up right after (extremely embarrassing I know). I assumed he wasn't really into me because he never attempted to hang out after class, text me or ask me out and even though he brought up my attempts at flirting (mortifying) he never really tried to go further. So I decided to get over the feelings and move on because I hated the fact that I liked a guy that was clearly rejecting me. Then one day in class he starts telling me about his ex girlfriend and how she's trying to come back into his life even though she has a boyfriend and he can't help but hook up with her blah blah. This got me so heartbroken, I didn't get why he was mentioning her if he's been flirting with me. Clearly he was friend zoning me, so I just listened and try to give him advice as best as I could. He also mentioned that he got a FaceTime from me and I was so embarrassed I told him it was an accident. The conversation was so weird cuz he was talking about her but it was like he was sending subliminals and I didn't notice that until I was thinking about it afterwards. So after that there was a long period of time that we didn't have class and we didn't really communicate other than snapchat (which he added me idk if to be friendly or what). When we came back I casually asked him when our other coworker was around why a guy would talk about his ex to a girl he was interested in other than to friend zone her. He said it doesn't necessarily mean he's friend zoning her maybe it's because he hasn't noticed this girl before and something could still happen between the two. He then went on to say how he ended up dating this girl even though they always used to talk about their dates to each other. After that he texts me if I'm going to be in the office and when I say no and ask why he says "just wondering". Then he texts late at night about doing work that wasn't going to be due at all and saying he'd send me an email the next day that he never sent lol. So fast forward to our most recent class, he's again mentioning Instagram models he thinks are cute or dates he's about to go on or he'd talk to our instructor about girls he was flirting with deliberately in front of me. After a while it became obvious he was trying to make me jealous. I didn't get why he wouldn't just say he likes me or that he knows I like him if that was his end goal, instead of trying to make me jealous. And it's hard to describe but when we're together I can feel that there's something more, like I said it's hard to hide body language but I'm not sure if the feelings are just one sided from me, I mean he must be feeling something too? Anyway, when he mentions his ex or other girls I usually just tease him and play it off. I mean, he's the guy, why isn't he asking me out? And he knows I like him at this point if he felt the same he could easily take things further if he wanted to. I get that it's the 21st century and women have power but I don't feel comfortable asking him out or trying to take initiative because even though it's clear he's noticing me, it seems as though he's playing around. He's cute he knows he can get girls easily. I feel like if I try to text him or ask to hang out he's gonna be like GOTCHA and tell me he's not interested and make me feel stupid for thinking he was into me at all and I don't think my self-esteem is ready for that. I think he just wants the satisfaction of seeing me mad over his dates or get me to admit I like him and I don't want to give him the satisfaction. And if that IS what he's trying to do that's really disappointing because he seems like such a nice guy to do something so petty. So again, I'm trying to ignore all of this and just move on but its so hard I've been depressed because I can't get him out of my mind, I always fantasize about him but I can't tell him and every time I think about him (which is always) it's like the embarrassment is fresh all over again. Thanks for reading and hopefully you have something helpful to tell me to help me get over this and please be kind I know a lot of this is childish.
  14. Hi, I am from India, i am 29 yr old virgin guy!!! yes and by virgin i do mean :- i never had any girl friends [lover], kissing or sex!! My problem is when ever someone talks about their girl friends , i feel very uneasy, this happens only when they have more than 1 girlfriend and they take it like a sport. Back in college i never had the guts to go to a girl n propose, or i never pictured my self as a romantic, lover kind of person so after all these years y am i having such feelings?? well i dont know what am i feeling!! i can't help thinking y these girls fell for this guy !! wat was she thinking ??? wat abt her future ??? there is a lot of Ys!! finally i came to the conclusion i am jealous... and admitted its all in my head!! but that is not helping anymore ...... pls help
  15. For years, I have been on the receiving end of rejection (one girl even rejected me in front of dozens of other students in the cafeteria). Tonight, I learned from a mutual friend that a friend likes me. The thing is, he's a guy. And I'm straight. My heart yearns for a woman. Love from a woman. With every fibre of my being. I have been down that road so I know how he would feel if I said what I have to say. How do I not hurt his feelings? How do I let him down gently, not like the bitchy queen bees that have rejected me throughout my life?
  16. I'm on here because I feel very lost and confused at the moment. I feel very depressed about my life and situation and don't know what to do. Feel like I've made a mess of everything.. I'm 38 years old and really want to settle down with someone I love and have children.. but at the same time I want a career and to earn good money as I am sick of being poor! I have got myself onto a degree course in September to train to become an occupational therapist. I currently work as a support worker and so the work will be similar to what I do now. I chose to do the course away from my home town as at the time I was sick of where I live and wanted to move somewhere new. I had a boyfriend but couldn't commit to him as always thought about moving away. he also worked evenings and weekends and I was unhappy about being on my own so much as I work days. He is a lovely guy.. very caring and we get on well.. Due to my unhappiness with my situation things got worse. We hardly saw each other and he was out of the country for 3-4 months over the last two years as his dad was ill and he had to spend time with him. During this time we pretty much lost contact. We haven't been sexually active for a year now. I have now broken it off and we have agreed to be friends. Recently someone else started to show interest in me and asked me out. We've been on a few dates and I like him a lot and he says he really likes me. Problem is I am moving away to do the course in 3 months time. I feel horrible today because I met up with my ex and he was saying how hard things are and he misses me and he feels so alone (plus his father died..) I feel so awful like its all my fault and that i've abandoned him.. I feel a strong attraction to the new guy I've met where I feel more of a warm affection for my ex. Problem is I'm about to leave both of them behind- to follow a career I'm not sure I want. I'm scared.. I was excited about moving away but now I'm sad and depressed. What should I do? I've told my ex I'm seeing somebody new but actually it's only been 3 dates and because I feel so down and because I've planned to move away it may not go anywhere. I feel so sad too and alone. I just wish I could be happy with what I have and have a family but I feel I want more than the poor paid job I have. The other problem I have is that I already have one degree in fine art and my passion is also for travel and photography. these are the things I find myself dreaming about. Suddenly leaving seems very frightening but staying now feels like I'd be missing out. Can anyone offer me some wise words to help me be happy and content?
  17. Hi All, I am utterly depressed with everything around me.i would like to disclose that i am a 26 year old virgin woman and i dated twice in my life,none of which materialized into a true relationship. At first, i feel like i have found the one, when the guy sweeps me off my feet, but it slowly dies down.i am not sure if its just me ,but is it so hard to find a true love/relationship these days.Everything online points to shaking it off and living in the now and dating randomly and not being so serious about stuff,because when it happens it happens.But i am somehow old fashioned and i am a bit saddened by the reality. I need help or some sort of consolation to go by ,because i know this is just a phase.i am honestly tired of waiting for a miracle to happen.i am fairly busy in life with work but i need to find love which i rarely do unfortunately. Thanks
  18. I met this guy at work. We started doing activities together outside work and eventually we got into a relationship, he told me he had a daughter but he doesn't visit her because the mother moved houses and he don't know where they went or how to get in contact with her, however he pays child support because she called the authorities on him. After a year of dating I fell pregnant for him. He made so many promises to me that he'll be there and help me provide. However throughout my pregnancy he disappeared and didn't help financially with anything. Then when I was around 8 months pregnant he came back and said he got a full time job and he's going to help me with things. Now when the baby was born he came and visit his son twice a week for the first 2 months. However we started having a disagreement because he worked 2 jobs from Monday to Sunday, he had no day off and when he came to visit for the 3 hours he was tired and couldn't help with anything and all he did was sleep. He then had a week off work but chose to do overtime that week and didn't come to see his son. He eventually gave me £50 for the baby. Since the baby was 2 months he disappeared. It's been 2 months now I haven't heard from him, he doesn't call to ask how his child is but I see him online all the time. Before he left we had an argument because he expected me to bring the baby to him instead of him coming to see him. Its been 2 months now I feel so hurt and betrayed I feel all alone and struggling to take care of the baby without any help. Do you think I should be the one to contact him? If so what should I say? I am 22 and he is 26
  19. Why does the friendship have to be sacrificed? Why ask the question "Are you prepared to lose them as a friend"? I've attended some weddings where the bride says the groom is her best friend and vice-versa (the groom says in his vow that she's his best friend). A professor of mine said that about marriage--imagine being married to your best friend. So why ask that question? I don't get it.
  20. I was just wondering. I know in those days, it was all arranged marriage and kids had no say (especially girls) in who they were to marry. And they couldn't object to their parents. Is it possible though that there were rare cases of people falling in love?
  21. Say you have a girlfriend. You get into an accident (you and your dad) and end up in a coma. When your childhood sweetheart hears about it, she flies over to see you in the hospital. While you're in that state, she confesses (hoping you'll hear her) that even after all these years, through the relationships she's had and the men she's loved, you're still the one she thinks about. And your accident made her realize just how much you mean to her. When you wake up from your coma, you remember what she said (and she's the first person you see after waking up) and it reignites that spark you once felt. But you have a girlfriend and so does she. What do you do? For girls, the same thing applies, just the roles are switched. You get into an accident, male childhood sweetheart flies over to go see you.
  22. Hi help community, I haven't been on this site since it popped up I used to be on the old site so I sorta know how things go. I am wanting some advice though. I will try to keep this as short as possible. About 6 months ago the guy I was with for 3 years moved with me to another state, I am going through a divorce with 2 children, and he sorta came into my life and has stuck by me through some serious stuff, from abuse to my childrens issues, to helping me escape the hell I was constantly in. He did everything he could to support me and my kids without being asked. I never asked him for any of it at first. After being together for a couple years and him playing the role of dad to the kids because he wanted to I'd ask for things, general things, help change diapers, can you bathe the kids, etc etc. He never complained. We hardly argued, we have amazing chemistry together, we find the same things funny, we both have a lot in common. Since we moved, we've been under bookoos of stress. I mean one thing after another. The place we are in isn't the best, the job he got is screwing him, I make more than him in one day than he does in two weeks, and he decided to join the military well the week he was signing up for it, the ged acceptance closed. He has decided to go reserve where as I would've suggested he wait until it opens again for ged, I didn't want him to feel like I was sending mixed signals about what I want him to do/not do. It isn't my decision it's his, and I want to support him no matter what he does. Now I am older than him, by 7 years so sometimes I know he's not as experienced with things so it can weigh on him more. Once he got that news, and his hours got cut at work, he started getting depressed which is perfectly normal I'd say, but he's taking it out on the relationship. He told me he can't do this anymore, that he loves me and wants to be with me, and such but he's not able to do it right now. He got upset when I made a comment about my self worth while drinking. Well that seemed to set all this in motion I guess. Then he started saying he thinks I'm going to sleep with this guy that I've known for 10 years, if him and I were gonna sleep together, we would've but he's more friend zone than friend zone can be. I asked him about him saying it, and he denied it but I heard it from 3 different people, that he's worried I'll be running around on him while he's at basic. I've tried to reassure him that's not going to happen, I'm even taking out my birth control, I'm getting into therapy to deal with drinking (which is not a problem but it was in the past and I started slipping and when I caught myself slipping I called up the mental health services to make an appointment!), I just am so lost at what I can do. I know he needs the space, I know he needs to breathe and figure out what he wants, and I want him to have that, but I don't want to lose him. If people saw us and had no idea what was going on they'd have no idea we're "on hiatus" they'd think we're a happy couple. He's holding my hand and giving me hugs and kisses, he isn't saying I love you as much as if trying to distance himself but he admits on almost a daily basis that he does love me. He did a complete dr jeckyll/mr hyde thing too with all this, a couple hours before he had told me it was "over" he was holding my hand, helping me pick out school supplies for my kids, telling me he loved me asking if I was going to ride with him or take the truck home then he goes over to my sisters, gets around her husband and bam, "it's over" then the next couple days he cries, he tells me he loves me, but he can't do it, then a couple hours after he says he can't do it, he says after basic he wants to give it another shot. Tells me I need to have my stuff straight. What it is that needs to be straight idk. I've got a job, a car, insurance, a house to live, my kids are taken care of, I'm in therapy starting next week. I don't know if it's his own insecurities. I know no one can tell me what he is thinking but I'm hoping maybe I can just get some good advice to help me get through this hard time, and also help him get through it. He left for meps today and I told him I know he's smart and intelligent and he will do great on the asvab and he'll come home with great news about the job he gets to pick. He smiled at me and hugged me and kissed me. He brought his laptop so we can talk on the internet tonight too. He's making plans too for the future and has been talking to me about them as well such as moving to another state and the kids and stuff. I mean one would assume he doesn't want to lose the relationship, but then again idk. I am trying to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Anonymous poster hash: bbb9a...6f7
  23. So a friend of mine and I were talking about relationships and proposal ideas and stuff, and she asked me, if I had a girlfriend (I hope someday), how would I propose to her. So I told her the following idea: I'll let her coworkers and her boss in on the plan. I'll fax each word to her throughout the day. Like there would be a set time to fax the word "Will". And then a few hours later, I'll fax the word "You". And then "Marry", then "Me" when she's about to go home. I'll be just outside the bullpen, on one knee, with an open box and a ring in one hand and a single stalk of rose in the other, waiting for her to come out. Would it work or not?
  24. Hi, i love a girl for more than six years. I informed it to her family as well as mine while she was studying at tenth std. Her family told me to bring a good job and we will accept ur love. But she says that she dont like love and so she hate me. I asked her to wait for me. but she says i doesn't feel any love on you.. then why should i wait? When she saw me staring at her.. she will turn her face to the opposite direction and will go without looking at me a bit. Now she is a college girl. I usually await her on my friends house which is near her home and she also know that. that way is a turning and while she reach that turning point she will turn back and will make a look at me... i thought it will be just a look for the first time... but she does it usually whenever she saw my bike infront of my friends house. But still when she saw me on road walking opposite of her direction she will turn her head into my opposite direction... still she doesn't pick my calls or ans my sms... but she does this turn back and look continuesly since one year... i am totally confused about her behaviour... for what she is looking for? What does it mean? Is she is interested on me or she hate me? Someone says she doesn't love you it is just because of her age... someone says she has an interest on you and she will accept your love while you bring a god job.. she rejects you because she thinks this is not the right time to love or marriage.. what should i do? Pls pls pls... anybody could help me... now i am in a good job... settled... still i am waiting... and i am able tobwait her until her degree is complete... will she accept me? Does her look means she has any interest on me? Guys.. i am out of my mind... pls help me.. Anonymous poster hash: 9781c...4d9
  25. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 8 months. We fight tons but i always end up getting back with him. I have a couple of scenario's which have really bothered me and im wondering if he is worth my time. - Recently i stayed overnight at his house. We had previously been fighting so I didnt want to have sex with him or anything (i TOLD him this before i came) but we ended up having sex. The whole time. We never do anything except fool around. I am only 17. - The morning after I walk into the dining room and there he is, having breakfast without me. On the phone. He didnt ask or even offer to get me anything. - He never says sweet things - Doesnt even get me a card or says happy b day to me (other then on fb) - He is always working and never sets aside time to spend with me. And when he does its because his dad is out and we can 'fool around' theres tons more but i was just wondering what YOU would do about this? I have told him my concerns many a time but nothing changes. he can never admit he does anything wrong and says i just complain. Are these bad reasons to complain? (This isnt even all of it) Sorry it is so long. Im just breaking down. Any opinions are appreciated