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Found 47 results

  1. I was raped when i was younger and my attacker cut me a few times around my genitals. I have some pretty serious/obvious scaring now. I've not been in a sexual relationship since then, so i was wondering would guys be disgusted/freaked out by the scars? And should i warn them ahead of time or what? Thank you
  2. It took a little digging to find the new site. I have missed it! I'm sorry this is so long, and I hope I have posted it in the right place. But I would really like some advice or kind words. I feel overwhelmed and I'm not sure what to do. My BF (of 2 1/2 years) and I went camping with his family this weekend, which was stressful and our part was organized by me alone. That's a whole other ball of wax, but my bf's mother informed us that his dad's brother and wife were going to be in town this coming weekend, from Texas (we are in California). My bf hasn't seen them in probably ten years. On top of that, since they are coming, his other Aunt is coming, and they are celebrating his only grandma's 79th birthday, and we are both expected to be there. A bit last minute. We had been planning to help MY parents install their new flooring this weekend for 2 months. But I can't, and won't, insist that my BF not see his family because we have to help mine install flooring, even if it is last inconveniently last minute. So I called my dad up as soon as I got home, as I needed to wish them a happy anniversary and ask if we can install the flooring the following weekend. Well, my dad got very irritated. I told him that I wasn't happy about it either, and I'm not, but I can't really do anything about it. My BF is the more valuable one as far as knowing how to install that flooring, but honestly we just installed it in our new place, and that's the only reason we know anything. And, by the way, we did that without any help from them, since they were on a long vacation. So he gets all stony and cold, so I ask to talk to his wife (we get a long very very well), and inform her of what is going on and she was equally irritated with me. She said it just seemed like his family interrupted their plans a lot. Their plans? I can think of 1 or 2 times in 2 1/2 years. Mine? yeah, a lot. But my parents have ruined our plans as well and we've rescheduled or missed things with my bf's side too. I get handed back to my dad, where he asks me what day it is, then I remember I was going to wish them a happy anniversary, and all I got back was, "did you tell ____(his wife) that?" And I said no, but explained that I mean to, I just got side tracked with that conversation and all the billion other things going on (Tagged her in a Facebook post after, with a photo I had taken at the wedding and wished them a Happy Anniversary again, got "thanks"). I called them like 20 minutes after I parked my car in the driveway. We can't do the floors the following weekend because it's his wife's granddaughter's birthday and they are driving over to visit them. Then my dad, all mad, says that he guesses he just won't go. Or maybe he'll just do the floors himself. blah blah blah. And I try explaining its hard to make things work, and schedule things between the two families. He always acts like I have absolute control over everything that happens. Then get's mad at me when I don't make things go his way. His wife's kids are never there to help with anything. Just earlier this year we went over two weekends in a row to help him put up a new fence. He always gets grouchy and rude during these projects too. I texted my BF after that and told him my dad wasn't happy with me, and he said that he could just install the flooring himself then. Which didn't help. I'm just feeling pressure from all sides to appease everybody, and also the pressure on myself to do what I think is the right thing. I told him that I'd try to nail down exactly what is happening with the bf's family and I'd call him back today. But honestly, my only option is to just drive the 2 hours over there by myself this weekend and try to be as helpful as I can. And also deal with his bad attitude during the install. But now I'm just angry. I don't want to help him now. I generally have a good relationship with my father, and his wife..but I'm just mad. I'm mad that they apparently gave no thought to everything I have going on, they don't listen when I try to talk about my issues with stress and anxiety, he just gets mad when I'm not at his beck and call, and when we go help him with something he always ends up being very rude during the project. And I also think its wrong that they would want my BF to ignore his whole family to go help them with FLOORS, or at least wrong that they are putting so much pressure on me to somehow make that happen. Hell, last Thanksgiving, when they wanted me to come over and I told him that my BF and I needed to go to his parent's because his brother who is in the military would be home for it, a rare occurrence, my dad got so mad at me. Said we had spent last thanksgiving with them, when we didn't, we were alone for it because both sets of our parents were out of town visiting other family members. Mine were only a few hours away visiting one of his wife's kids, but its not like I was even invited anyway. Then we went and did Christmas with them and stayed for 5 DAYS. I would understand the frustration if I never called, or visited, or helped when they asked, but I DO. All the time. Even when it is inconvenient for me. Any advice in dealing with this? I want to call him up and chew him out, or at least say that I won't be coming at all and I'm disappointed in his behavior. I realize I can't please everyone all the time..but no one else seems to be realizing this. I hate last minute changes myself. I don't want any of this to be happening. I feel overwhelmed with my family, my BF's family, seeing my BF have such a hard time with his family, helping him, with school, with work, my anxiety and depression. I had a meltdown last night...I'm in college right now getting my BA. My dad has been helping me out by having me on his cell plan and paying for my car insurance, he also helped me pay for a car repair I couldn't afford last year, and, this car being my first, he helped me get that too and its in his name. I feel like maybe that is part of the reason I'm in the beck and call position, but I know that part of it is that it is just his personality and I'm his only child. I'm not ungrateful. I help him all the time. I call just to say hi and ask how they are doing. I'm always trying to be helpful. I'm repeating myself. Please, any advice would be very much appreciated. I want to throw my hands up in the air, chew him out, and ask my BF to help me maybe buy the car from him, and pay the insurance, registration, etc. I also just wish I could be more independent and not owe anybody..but that's why I'm in school, getting A's, and digging myself into debt. HELP.
  3. So I'm 33

    As I sit here at my friends house because I drank to much. I can't help but think about where my life is. I've had it all and lost it more times than I can count, I would like to blame my x wife but in reality it's not all her fault. Ove done one the drugs, the drinking, the late night parrting, I've never gone to school, everything I know I taught myself. So what am I do? I grind 24/7 I work from home so I'm always on call! I don't get to see my kids because of the lies and liberal justice system that is Northern VA until Feb 2017... yes ive got good friends but because of everything I'm involved in and everything I'm doing I can not risk getting involved with them if anything happens. i struggle with depression on a daily basis only to look at my phone to see pictures of my kids on my phone, or memories on Facebook. I stay busy to keep focus on what I'm doing so I don't get des pressed, recently a new women has stepped into my life that has really helped me out a lot. Just her smile brightens up my day. I try to act like a rock for everyone around me, because they rely on me for guidance but in reality I'm falling apart. I dont knowd these these are the thoughts of a guy sober up after a long night of drinking and talking about life an where we are!
  4. Imagine a tightly-knit group of friends who've known each other since their diaper days. Twins Sammy and Roxanne, siblings Lance, Louis, and Allison, and their one mutual friend Veronica. It's Sammy and Roxanne's 16th birthday and some idiots decide to ruin it and bring beer to the party (which the twins and their parents hadn't planned on). Allison, who has been Sammy's girlfriend for awhile now, gets drunk and she is caught kissing another guy from their class, all while moaning Sammy's name. He is so hurt he decides to leave town and never look back, never come back. The twins leave with their parents--their dad had been offered a new job in another state. A month passes and Allie's guilt-induced depression gets worse--she's a nothing more than a zombie now--and her parents decide to take her away to forget everything. Which would mean Louis would have to leave Veronica, whom he has been dating for a whole month now. Put yourself in each character's shoes. What would you do? If you were Sammy? Or Louis? Or Lance? or Allison? Or Veronica? Or Roxanne (who is Lance's girlfriend)?
  5. In my mind I’m better. I’m smarter, more focused, more desired, more respectable, and just all around better so why does she get to experience this before me? I don’t mean any harm by this and don’t intend to act out of it. I’ve done a good job of controlling this because I know what it’s about. It’s my ego. The same ego that inspires me to be great and pursue my dreams makes me angry, irritated and depressed at the thought of another woman getting to something before me even though I make myself so available to that very thing. It’s not even about it being just*anything*. It’s about love. True love. That’s MY thing. I’m the Cancer sign. I’m the lover and hippy and hopeless romantic. She’s a Gemini lol. She gets to say she has experienced love and has someone that’s in love with her right now. She leaves in the middle of the night and gets texts and phone calls and has intimacy. Yeah their relationship is a mess, they’re not together (or ever really were officially to begin with), she’s distracted from school and I would never want their drama. But at least they HAVE something. I’m green with envy. Every part of me hates this fact. What’s wrong with me? Someplace deep down I know I’m happy for her and I hope everything works out for her and Peter. However, the snooty egotistical part of me wants it all to go wrong for her so she won’t get to true love and happiness before me. It wouldn’t be fair. She is promiscuous, has daddy issues, lets guys walk all over her, and is not as pretty as me. So what’s the deal? Please know that I’d NEVER admit this to anyone. I ‘m barely allowing myself to admit this feeling to myself without judgement. I’m trying to express this and let it go. Because there’s a lot of pain here. It’s not her fault and again this has nothing to do with her as a person. She has great qualities. She is cute, she dresses nicely, she’s down to earth and a talented writer and cook. I care about her. She’s friendly and she’s good at making websites lol. I’m sure she’d be a very loving wife/girlfriend/mother/sister, etc. She is wise but I’m more mature I think. I make better grades and better decisions lol. I want her to be happy but the little girl in me is rolling around on the floor throwing a tantrum and screaming at how unfair the world is. I’ve shied away from this feeling, shoot I didn’t even understand it at first but I think I get it now. *I* want be a great lover/friend/sister/mom/wife/girlfriend. *I* want to be a great cook. *I* want to be talented. I mean, those last two things I know will come with time so I’m not too pressed. I’m only in college. But the love part? That gets to my core. Because I’m putting in effort and want it SO badly. I’ve dreamed about this since I understood what true love is. I’m sure every little girl has but I always felt that I felt it stronger because I’m such a sensitive person. I’m frustrated because I can’t make it happen on my own. So I’m here wanting and desiring something that is totally out of my control. Hopeless romantic. I’m such a driven and goal-oriented person it’s so unbelievable that this isn’t one of those things I can write down and make happen. Just by the power of intention. That’s how I manifest all of my other goals. But for some reason this one has yet to happen. I think as long as I see myself as a lover and hopeless romantic and desire this “out-of-this-world†kind of true love I will always be jealous of her. So how do I move on from this? How do I suppress my ego? I do my best to give her neutral advice when she comes to me and not talk down about her guy or tell her to leave him, even when it was going badly. I gave her the power to decide and didn’t let my jealousy get the better of me. But how can I genuinely be happy for her without any resentment? Because I think behind the jealousy is a lot of pain. I want to be a good friend to her. How can I be patient for my own love story especially when I feel like I’m drifting and not making any headway with the guys I’m interested in? It takes a lot of strength to make good decisions about guys and I'm lucky to have family to guide me in the right direction. But what if all I get out of that is loneliness in the end? Much love CollegeGirl
  6. We've been together 6 years, got engaged a few months ago. He's older than me and has been working for a few years, whereas I just graduated college 9 months ago with a B.A. (I'm working now, but will be going to grad school for a masters and doctorate within 2 years) Years ago, I got on birth control because our condoms kept breaking. I hated the idea of messing with my hormones, but preventing having an unplanned child was more important. I told him when we decided to use birth control that this didn't mean that I was comfortable with him not using a condom, because I wanted to have 2 methods of protection since no method is 100% even when used correctly. Over time, we started substituting pulling out instead of condoms as the second method, so we could get the skin on skin. So now, in the last couple months.. my fiance really wants to stop using condoms because (according to him) it interrupts the flow and he feels (physically and mentally) better with skin-on-skin because he feels connected to me. I understand/respect those feelings, but I'm really not okay without using a condom because I am not ready to have a child and I accidentally miss a pill (end up taking it with the next pill as the pamphlet instructs) about once a month or more. This makes the birth control less effective. I don't want any chance of us having kids right now because I am hard-set on getting my doctorate. My career is practically my life purpose in my eyes. At the same time, I believe parenting is the most sacred job a person will ever have, and if I had a child now, even if I wasn't ready, I would dedicate my everything to my child, which would probably include going to graduate school and getting my career going. I take the job of parenting very seriously and when I'm responsible for someone's wellbeing, I wont compromise that for my own desires. I want to at least START grad school before I get pregnant. My fiance, on the other hand, wouldn't mind having a child. However, I think he is totally underestimating how drastically having a child will change our lives. Right now, we have serious trouble just keeping up with household chores -- all the time. He hates the career he is in and has gone back to school to change fields, but still has at least a few years for that to finish. He also has PTSD which we havent found the right treatment for yet. I can only imagine how the muted affection and constant state of being overwhelmed with stress (even when there isn't a lot of stress-triggering events on the outside) could compromise his ability to take care of a child well when there is tons of external stress-triggers coming from parenting. We'd also have to move in with my parents in order to survive financially because we're barely making it right now. Summary: Neither one of us is in a position to have a child right now. I definitely want to have kids in a few years, after we are married and once I've at least started grad school. And I get that birth control is very effective. But even with two alarms on my phone to remind me, and 4 years of habit under my belt, I still end up messing it up one way or another (usually because I'm sleeping or out of the house when the alarms go off) but the time I've scheduled to take it is already the time I'm most likely to be awake and home (I have a very erratic schedule). He makes frustrated faces or sighs when I ask to put on a condom when are about to have sex. Or before we have sex, he'll say things like "Can we please stop being SO afraid of having a baby? I just want to let it flow without all these restrictions." I dont want him to be unsatisfied with our sex life and I feel bad, but I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did something to compromise my child's well being or my purpose (aka my career). I'm not "afraid", but I do feel the rational need to be cautious, and I don't feel comfortable sacrificing that for his pleasure. He also seems to think that me not wanting to have a baby right now is some form of non-commitment to him. I've told him that I definitely DO want to have children with him, when we're both ready and when we can provide a good life for our children. What can I do? I think we're going to need to sit down and talk about it (again) soon, but I'm not sure want to say because I've explained my feelings about the topic all before. Some ideas I have: Use spermicidal foam or gel as the second contraceptive instead of a condom Diaphragm or cervical cap as second method Be more regular on pills (I can't think of any other way to remind myself though??)
  7. Hi everyone, I found this website on Google and was hoping to get some help from people more experienced than me. Please bare with me if this is long and juvenile, I have basically no experience with dating and just need some clarity. Basically I have a huge crush on this guy and everything is going so left. What I think is that he's playing around with my feelings but I want to get more opinions. Long story short I met him two years ago as a freshman because we are in the same research program on my college campus. I thought he was attractive since back then but never really thought too much about it until this year when I became an advisor in the program and started working closer with him. He's a year older than me and became an advisor last year and ironically ended up advising me. This year, I had tried to be really professional and not express my feelings to him since it's a working relationship but it's so hard to control body language. We usually see each other once a week (sometimes not even that often) when we have our seminars and we play around and flirt. I tried to send him hints like sending him a dm (it was my girlfriends who did it actually after I showed them his page on Instagram lol), asking irrelevant questions and I even drunk dialed him on FaceTime and hung up right after (extremely embarrassing I know). I assumed he wasn't really into me because he never attempted to hang out after class, text me or ask me out and even though he brought up my attempts at flirting (mortifying) he never really tried to go further. So I decided to get over the feelings and move on because I hated the fact that I liked a guy that was clearly rejecting me. Then one day in class he starts telling me about his ex girlfriend and how she's trying to come back into his life even though she has a boyfriend and he can't help but hook up with her blah blah. This got me so heartbroken, I didn't get why he was mentioning her if he's been flirting with me. Clearly he was friend zoning me, so I just listened and try to give him advice as best as I could. He also mentioned that he got a FaceTime from me and I was so embarrassed I told him it was an accident. The conversation was so weird cuz he was talking about her but it was like he was sending subliminals and I didn't notice that until I was thinking about it afterwards. So after that there was a long period of time that we didn't have class and we didn't really communicate other than snapchat (which he added me idk if to be friendly or what). When we came back I casually asked him when our other coworker was around why a guy would talk about his ex to a girl he was interested in other than to friend zone her. He said it doesn't necessarily mean he's friend zoning her maybe it's because he hasn't noticed this girl before and something could still happen between the two. He then went on to say how he ended up dating this girl even though they always used to talk about their dates to each other. After that he texts me if I'm going to be in the office and when I say no and ask why he says "just wondering". Then he texts late at night about doing work that wasn't going to be due at all and saying he'd send me an email the next day that he never sent lol. So fast forward to our most recent class, he's again mentioning Instagram models he thinks are cute or dates he's about to go on or he'd talk to our instructor about girls he was flirting with deliberately in front of me. After a while it became obvious he was trying to make me jealous. I didn't get why he wouldn't just say he likes me or that he knows I like him if that was his end goal, instead of trying to make me jealous. And it's hard to describe but when we're together I can feel that there's something more, like I said it's hard to hide body language but I'm not sure if the feelings are just one sided from me, I mean he must be feeling something too? Anyway, when he mentions his ex or other girls I usually just tease him and play it off. I mean, he's the guy, why isn't he asking me out? And he knows I like him at this point if he felt the same he could easily take things further if he wanted to. I get that it's the 21st century and women have power but I don't feel comfortable asking him out or trying to take initiative because even though it's clear he's noticing me, it seems as though he's playing around. He's cute he knows he can get girls easily. I feel like if I try to text him or ask to hang out he's gonna be like GOTCHA and tell me he's not interested and make me feel stupid for thinking he was into me at all and I don't think my self-esteem is ready for that. I think he just wants the satisfaction of seeing me mad over his dates or get me to admit I like him and I don't want to give him the satisfaction. And if that IS what he's trying to do that's really disappointing because he seems like such a nice guy to do something so petty. So again, I'm trying to ignore all of this and just move on but its so hard I've been depressed because I can't get him out of my mind, I always fantasize about him but I can't tell him and every time I think about him (which is always) it's like the embarrassment is fresh all over again. Thanks for reading and hopefully you have something helpful to tell me to help me get over this and please be kind I know a lot of this is childish.
  8. Hi, I am from India, i am 29 yr old virgin guy!!! yes and by virgin i do mean :- i never had any girl friends [lover], kissing or sex!! My problem is when ever someone talks about their girl friends , i feel very uneasy, this happens only when they have more than 1 girlfriend and they take it like a sport. Back in college i never had the guts to go to a girl n propose, or i never pictured my self as a romantic, lover kind of person so after all these years y am i having such feelings?? well i dont know what am i feeling!! i can't help thinking y these girls fell for this guy !! wat was she thinking ??? wat abt her future ??? there is a lot of Ys!! finally i came to the conclusion i am jealous... and admitted its all in my head!! but that is not helping anymore ...... pls help
  9. For years, I have been on the receiving end of rejection (one girl even rejected me in front of dozens of other students in the cafeteria). Tonight, I learned from a mutual friend that a friend likes me. The thing is, he's a guy. And I'm straight. My heart yearns for a woman. Love from a woman. With every fibre of my being. I have been down that road so I know how he would feel if I said what I have to say. How do I not hurt his feelings? How do I let him down gently, not like the bitchy queen bees that have rejected me throughout my life?
  10. My life feels quite weird recently. And it's so hard to put it all into words. I've got M.E which has changed my life. I had a partner who was my fiancé and we were together for 7 years. Liked him since I was 11. Also met the person who was my best friend when I was 11. I'm now 24. I nearly died because of my illness and he couldn't really cope. I became totally dependant on my parents to take care of me. Spoon feed me. Everything. Me and the guy I was with split. And that's a long story too. That was back in March. I finally started to feel abit stronger to come home in May just gone. It was December when I left to temporarily live with my parents. I fought really hard to improve and I nearly died. I'm still trying to get better and I believe I can keep improving even if I have relapses. Even if I don't go back to my original self I can improve. I think and I hope. Because of this illness I have also lost that best friend of mine. She was like my sister. I don't think she believed me properly. My thoughts are all muddled up because of how my brain works. I could talk to my M.E friends but I don't want to put on to them or worry them. Bad feelings make the ME worse so I don't want to make them worse by worrying about me. The most closest people in my life was my ex, my best friend and my sister. Now my sister is the only one of those people in my life. She's getting a sample sent away to see how high the risk is of her getting cervical cancer. But she has the symptoms and she's had them quite a while... My mam has problems with her health too and my dad. And I don't think my grandma and grandad have too many years left. It's scary to think that one day my parents, grandparents and possibly even my sister could be gone in a few years. Then that would leave my brother in law to be and the three kids and my auntie and uncle. I don't have loads of friends who can come and see me. It's not easy to make friends because of my illness and I get frightened of more people not believing me and not wanting me in their life anymore. My best friend said, I'd changed I wasn't the same anymore and a bunch of other hurtful things. I trusted her and it makes me wonder who else is going to hurt me. I'm used to having someone to feel close to. And we'll I've made a friend online who has the same illness as me and we understand each other. I kinda like him and I think he likes me. We live far from each other though and not being well enough to travel gets in the way too. I get confused about how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I don't understand how I feel. Sometimes I'm happy then something can click and I get overly sensitive and start feeling down pretty quick. The ME affects emotions aswell so it's probably that too. Its coming back around to that time last year where I struggled like crazy. Soon it will be December again and the anniversary of the struggles I faced last year. I nearly died. I nearly ended up having to be tube fed. I thought I was going to have to be recusitated last year. I was scared I was going to die. The paramedics were out three times to see me because I was having breathing problems. But now it's getting nearer to that time when both me and my ex were struggling so bad. We were both talking about suicide at one time. He said he wanted to commit suicide and I said can I join you. I'm coming too and he stood up and went to walk to the kitchen. I got in the way and stopped him. I remember pulling some of my hair out last year. I lived in isolation. It's just so weird. I lost my job cos I couldn't work. I nearly lost my home too but I'm lucky I managed to get back in it. There are so many changes that's happened and still are going to happen. I wish things were steady. I wish there was some stability. Only one person really comes to see me here in my home. I get out of my house perhaps 2 or 3 times a month. But I'm usually sitting inside of someone's house. Because I have wheelchair but because of their health reasons and other reasons people can't push me. My sister has hyper mobility. My dad has a very bad back and he's getting older. My mam has very bad hands that she can't risk get infected. I just live in this house with the Internet. Me and my rabbit and sometimes my family. I don't want to out worry on to them because they have tried so hard to help me and still try to help me. I am trying to get moved into a bungalow over near where my family live. And hopefully I can then see them more and be less lonely. It's stressful though. I need to not be near a main road or I won't sleep. And sleep is so important to me. And it's rough over there. I don't really want to go but it's so isolated over here. It's a shame too because this house is lovely and big, in a nice area and mostly decorated. We worked so hard on this house. And now I'm going to have to move. Just because I'm sick. It's not fair that I lose everything. My whole life has changed. And I thought I wasn't bothered about losing my ex and sometimes I'm not quite sure. I know it wouldn't work because his parents thought I was attention seeking. They didn't like me and he always worried what they thought. He was in the middle. He would still have worried about what they would have thought if we had got back together. So I decided I didn't need the hassle of it. I think I like this other guy though. He seems lovely. But I get insecure sometimes. It's like he has become my closest friend this person. But without him I don't know how I'd feel. Yet I don't want to be too clingy. And I'm too over sensitive. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I didn't have my family. Then I wouldn't have to fight no more. But I have to keep trying because I have people that would hurt if I went anywhere. It feels like living in a dream. It's a bad dream and I'm not going to wake up because it's real. Why do I feel like i don't know how I feel? Like some times I could see something and I could cry my eyes out. Other times I can look at that same thing or something that would make me emotional and instead I just feel numb. I'm already on antidepressants. Maybe I should get a SAD lamp. I don't really know what I'm asking. I'm just trying to articulate words together. I feel....I dunno how I feel.......sometimes I push myself when I feel down. But sometimes I don't really feel like doing anything and I have to push myself to eat. I don't always feel like eating but I guess I have to because I'd get more Ill again. It's hard I always had my ex there to talk too. About everything. Absolutely everything and now I don't have that person. Then I had my best friend to help me through and now i don't. My sister has the three kids and is often very stressed with things aswell. I don't often get to see her. Even with people who are in my life I feel insecure incase they disappear out of my life too. I like that guy but I get afraid of him leaving too. Which is probably not logical really.
  11. So I have a group of friends. And in that group, we had a friend who was 17 at that time. My friend "Iggy" (not his real name) was 20 at that time. And he had the hots for "Cassie" (who was, as I have mentioned, 17 at that time). We were thinking that would be jail bait even though they were only three years apart. So our friend "Monty" talked to "Iggy" and advised him to stay away from "Cassie". Because A: "Cassie" was getting uncomfortable and she didn't like him, and B: She was just 17 and she's a minor when he's not. And then "Monty's" brother "Jonas" talks to him too, telling him the same thing. "Iggy" was happy to back off, but then "Monty" started acting weird, holding "Cassie's" hand, putting his arm around her shoulders, her waist. Being super sweet and friendly with her. Whenever we hung out, even if "Cassie" had money, "Monty" would say it was on him. "Iggy" didn't like that and called "Monty" a hypocrite. However, "Monty" swears to this day he was just being a protective, caring big brother figure to "Cassie". So "Iggy" leaves the group. We did manage to win him back two years ago. Fast forward to last year. Everything's okay in our circle of friends now--things were almost back to the way they were before. But then "Iggy" hears from "Cassie" that she actually fell in love with "Monty". So now he's gone again. How do we fix this? How do we win him him back?
  12. Every time I see them post engagement pictures and changing relationship statuses, posting lovey-dovey stuff, I feel jealous. Here they are, flaunting their prize in front of everyone, and here I am, wondering why I'm still single and wondering where mine is. I'm like Noah but without my "Allie" (if you catch my drift). How can I be happy for them instead?
  13. I'm a fairly young guy living in a big city. The last time I dated anyone was 2.5 years ago. I've been painfully alone since and always hear the "how are you still single??" question. She had just come out of a relationship, I was vulnerable and a sucker for a pretty face. When the inevitable "I don't feel the same" conversation came I was heart-broken. But I should have known better.. For months I fell into a deep depression. I know I hit bottom when I become suicidal. In the years to follow I gathered numerous friends at work. In my industry there are primarily young women. During a night out with my colleagues, one of these women, a tall beautiful half-italian half-german, 20 something-year old who clearly spends lots of time in the gym and sports curly hair and stalletos, says to me "I like you. Everyone likes you. But you seem like you have a secret.." I became well liked at my last job. Extremely popular. But she was right. What I was hiding was the fact that I was severely depressed. On and off for the better part of my life. I hid it very, very, very well at work. How do you tell someone something like this? It's difficult enough to admit it to yourself. I found that all the intimacy, and love and tenderness I was lacking in my personal life, I let out in my professional life. I would plan happy hours, talked to everyone like they were the most important person in the room, and treated every girl I met as if I had a huge crush on them (which I did for the most part). This led to a lot of popularity. But I couldnt run from the truth. And truth is that I was and am painfully, terrifyingly lonely and sad. I switched jobs. I got an offer I really could not refuse. In the last few months of my previous job I hooked up with that stalleto-sporting, gym-going, curly-haird twenty something I mentioned earlier. We had been friends for sometime but things escalated one night. As you would imagine this girl has many eyes on her. We hooked up 3 times over the period of 4 or 5 months. The last of which was two weeks ago. There is something I should mention. One my triggers for falling into a deep depression is women. Especially finding women to be not interested in me. It's not the only thing but it plays a big part of severe downward spirals for me. And also explains why I simply don't go near them. To the point where I've been asked "are you gay?" ... no, I am not. But the truth of the matter is a scary one. So I see this beautiful young lady about two weeks ago. The next day we text back and forth as normal people would. The week was met with silence. I see her again at a bar later in the week. We dance the night away together and I see her off to a cab. Something changed after that. Apparently she had made plans that sunday, the same day we were going to hang out. I invite her out Sat for a mutuals friends holiday party, and she declines "going to the office and then the gym" she replies. Something felt off after that... I didnt hear from her the entire week. But something inside me cracked. And I don't think it's completely related to the breakdown in communication with this girl. I spent sunday curled up in a ball crying. I have anti-depressants that I take in a fairly low dose and popped three of them. Still filled with excrutiating pain I took a xanax and finally knocked myself out. The work week was terrible. I can remain calm in front of co-workers, and even excel in my work as I desperately try and distract myself, but every afternoon, when I left my office, the tears would run uncontrollably. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped doing laundry. I stopped shaving. I stopped cleaning anything. I would get home, eat whatever I could find, curl up into a ball on my kitchen floor, and sob and sob and sob. Once I gathered enough energy to take an anti-depressant and a xanax, I would curl up on my couch and cry until I fell asleep....this started last sunday and has continued this entire week through today. I know I need help. Im getting it. The appointment is a month away. I suppose I just needed to share this story with someone. Even if it's just strangers. My sleeping patterns are becoming very strange and I can barely move through out the day without taking xanax ( I realize this is unhealthy) . Something about my off-and-on relationship with this girl opened up a serious can of worms. That's my story. That's my secret. Thanks for reading it.
  14. So I moved to California when I was 18 (had my 19th birthday here), and I did make friends. But even after nine years, I still feel like the outsider. The odd one out. Sure, I hang out with them. We talk. I laugh at their jokes (my jokes are too lame to laugh at). But I still feel like I don't belong. Even after nine years of being friends with them. It's like I'm near the circle but not in it. Will I ever fit in?
  15. Say you have a girlfriend. You get into an accident (you and your dad) and end up in a coma. When your childhood sweetheart hears about it, she flies over to see you in the hospital. While you're in that state, she confesses (hoping you'll hear her) that even after all these years, through the relationships she's had and the men she's loved, you're still the one she thinks about. And your accident made her realize just how much you mean to her. When you wake up from your coma, you remember what she said (and she's the first person you see after waking up) and it reignites that spark you once felt. But you have a girlfriend and so does she. What do you do? For girls, the same thing applies, just the roles are switched. You get into an accident, male childhood sweetheart flies over to go see you.
  16. So, I've hit a very low point in my life. For the first time ever I am considering that I may have depression or some form of bipolar disorder. I called a local doctor on Friday to make an appointment so don't worry about anything. Granted things aren't perfect in my life, but mostly my life is running smoothly yet I still battle with alot of anger and sadness. It feels like no one cares as much as I do about keeping friendships, or being successful at work. Its really the small things that get me, like why must I always be the first to text people, or that I'm constantly checking that people who are having a rough time are alright without being asked the same. I recently found God and for awhile it really helped, and still in a sense does but even sometimes that brings me down. Our message this week for example was about how even though Peter failed Jesus in multiple occasions he was still loved. This will sound a little conceited but for most of my life I thought I was a better person than most others. I know that's not true, but because of the higher standard I've set for myself, when i do fall short, even if it is something minor it hits me hard. Or that as nice as people think i am, and how i act or talk, my thoughts often scare me. Well that's all i feel like saying for now. If anyone else feels like this i hope it helps you see that your not alone.
  17. All of my closest friends came from college and work, but now that it's been a few years since I left college and switched jobs, I'm realizing that I don't really have that many friends. I work all day and am usually too tired to go out, plus I'm pretty shy. I don't work with people my own age, which is how I made friends with people in the past. Have any of you successfully established friendships with people you didn't work with or go to school with? Anonymous poster hash: 13574...f85
  18. Ever since she noticed that me and my crush would look at eachother at the begining of the school year during class, she became friends with him. She looks at me a lot but never smiles .. She also has a boyfriend.. So i don't know what her deal is .. I've never done anything mean to her before..? We don't even know eachother.. We're just classmates.. Me and my crush still look at eachotherand he always blushes or looks away quickly but hen his friend notices that he looked at me, she turns to look at me or pretends to look at some beside me or behind me.. -.- But it's obvious that she's trying to look at me..And when she does look at me she has the kind of expression like "I kno you're looking at him.." But really.. why would she care..?
  19. This young man is so incredibly captivating and wise.
  20. I've been dating this girl and she's amazing and we love eachother, but I've been noticing that she doesn't think that she's good enough for me. She calls me perfect and amazing and similar things. I try to convince her that she's perfect for me. We've both been through some things that hurt us and we understand eachother perfectly. I don't know what to do. Her friends tell me that she has very low self esteem. Is there anything that I can do to help her? She also says she sorry for everything eventhough she shouldn't be sorry and she's afraid that if she doesn't say she's sorry for whatever that I'll leave her. And she keeps telling me that she's going to try to be the best girlfriend eventhough I tell her that she's great and everything. Help
  21. So there's this guy I've known for over 3 years now, and I feel I might be catching feelings for him but I really don't think I want to. Firstly because there is another guy who to me, is absolutely perfect and we're really close apart from the fact that he lives so far away. I met him online and I've known him for a very long time now and there's a possibility he may come visit me this year. So the guy I think I might be catching feelings for is funny, really nice to me, and we share the same interests (music). But I have a problem.. he's never been the best behaved, smartest, etc. This is a problem because my mother has always had a strong opinion in my relationships and to her, he would be a no-no. I feel like my friends would also mock me. I don't know what to do! Thanks
  22. I'm trapped at a cross roads in my life, especially my love life. (Note: I'm a female in her early twenties). I had a boyfriend for almost four years that I was madly in love with throughout my college years, but I was also very depressed and became suicidal around the same time that he was getting ready to graduate and was making plans to temporarily teach in another country. I didn't want him to not enjoy what should have been a happy time for him and to even contemplate not going abroad for my sake, so I broke up with him and never told him why. I regretted this deeply but at the time I thought I was doing the very best thing I could for him by not burdening him anymore. A year past before, with a lot of hard work, I was well enough to try and move on. I had one relationship, but it only lasted a month and turned out to be as bad and traumatizing as such a short lived relationship could actually be. A month after that relationship my ex (the long term one) and I started talking online again. From that day on we talked just about every day for hours on end, and we started making plans for me to come see him to see the country as my first long awaited traveling experience. Five months into this he dropped the bomb on me: he wanted to know what my feelings were about him, if I was considering seeing him again, because he had been strongly considering it but he met a girl in the country where he is working and wants to get into a relationship with her. I decided that I would regret it in the long run if I wasn't honest and told him just how much I love him and that I want him to be happy. It's been two months since then, he's with her and still with her (I get to see practically an album's worth of new pictures of them on a weekly basis online.) However we still talk nearly every day and he still wants me to come visit. She apparently knows about me. I don't want to give up on him as I've never been so close to anyone in my entire life. And I certainly don't want to miss out on/have my first traveling experience ruined because of some stupid girl. Yet the whole thing hurts SO badly. As horrible as it sounds, it hurts even more because I feel as if he has everything (ideal career in another country with great friends and a girlfriend) while I'm stuck here just struggling to put my life together. Ultimately I just want to know: 1. WHAT is he thinking?! 2. What do I do?
  23. So... at the moment I'm going through a pretty rough time, I split up with my boyfriend back in November 2013, he split with me due to us both going to university. I would have happily continued the relationship since I wasn't exactly moving 1000 miles away and do come home most weekends and also have ALOT of free time during my studies. (we where together for just under a year) During september/october time my life went on a downhill slope an I let myself spiral into depression to the point where I had to seek medical help... I think me and him spoke at least once during this time but my emotional situation was not something I wanted to discuss with him since I am usually a very head strong person an the handful of people who knew about my situation at the time all claimed to be surprised since I was always 'the strong one'. I don't blame this on just the break up with him at all since I have also had a very troubled past involving my parents divorcing, my mum loosing a baby and having to deal with some other big changes to my life. Infact close family even claimed that I was bound to crash and burn at some point with everything I have dealt with over the last 6-7 years. My emotional state has improved over the months and the amount of medication I take now is very minimal just a general antidepressant. Not long ago (around 2 weeks ago) I was invited to a birthday party and my ex boyfriend was also in attendance (my friend did make me aware of this and ask if I was ok with it) of course I said I was fine, because we both had not been in contact with so long and although we broke up on icy terms it seemed as though we where both old enough to have seen past it. The night arrived and the alcohol flowed... We found each other in a deep conversation that involved tears and our friends trying to split us up to stop my upset, but the night ended in us being cuddled together and not sleeping for all the talking we did about how much we miss one another, a few kisses where also shared. The following morning the first thing he said to me was 'I love you', which made me think it couldn't have been the alcohol talking the previous night. During the 11 months of our relationship before we split there was talk of him and his family migrating to Australia which we only touched on briefly since as much as I would deny it that the thought didn't upset me, it did.. but everything became real at the party since he announced they all have Visa's and he has dropped out of university in the UK and they move in August. The following day he texted me and asked if I would consider seeing him a few times to talk about our situation, I was very confused and upset so chose not to reply immediately in the fear of getting my heart broken again. Later that day he told me he had made a big mistake telling me that he loved me although he said he still feels strongly about me, he has moved on since going to university with the girl next door in his halls of residence, and he should have told me this previously before kissing me etc at the party, as he want's to continue his relationship with her until it is time to leave...as you may be able to imagine I was pretty much broken once again, and began my journey back down the emotional staircase back into my 'leave me alone' days, struggling to sleep, eat and think about anything else other than this. Yesterday he got in touch with me and said he had broken things off with 'The girl next door' the day after the party since he couldn't stop thinking about me and also told me he is struggling to sleep, eat and think about anything else other than this (finally we where on the same page), I have returned the majority of his calls and messages and now he is asking to talk again about trying to work something out...He now knows everything there is to know about the past months of my life including the levels of medication etc that I have been on. He couldn't apologise enough and wishes I would have told him as he would have 'dropped everything and been at my side' (although I did repeatedly tell him this is not all his fault, he knows all the in's and out's re my past also) I know that it is going to be difficult to patch everything together in such a short space of time but I am 100% willing because when we are together we just have this connection (I know how cringey and cliche that sounds) but it's true...he has mentioned already via text and numerous phone calls that he is willing to come back to the UK for long periods of time, and I am also happy to go out to Australia and visit him. but....I still have 3 years left at university and I know that after I have finished there if everything goes well between us I could happily migrate to Australia because I feel that strongly about him... At the minute I just fear that he may be in this for the short term and is going to suggest splitting up like he did when we both began our journey to different universities, since different parts of the world is a more serious situation... I don't really know what sort of feedback I am hoping to get from anyone who reads this, I suppose what I'm asking is...is this going to be a lost cause? am I going to get my heart broken?, If you've dealt/dealing with this kind of situation how difficult actually is it? I apologise for the long post hahaa
  24. I want to hear some stories from people who are happy and content with their current relationship (with no regrets!). People above the age of 40 ideally, who have been with their partner for 10+ years and feel like they chose the right person to spend the rest of their life with. What was it about your significant other that made them the right choice for you? What makes them compliment you so well? Do opposites really attract? Was your deep attraction to them sudden? Or did it need to be learned. I'm young and naive, trying to decide which girl to pursue. Please share
  25. how

    how do i move on? how can i forget? my husband is leaving me, hes done with me, he just tells me he hates me. i love him so much i feel ruined for all other men, i cant look at men in the same light as before. when i look at them they are just ppl i have no thoughts, feelings, or interests. im deeply in love, obsessed, and stuck on my husband. he can easily toss me away, why cant i? how do you let go, ive never felt so depressed in my life i feel unloved, unwanted, unimportant. i want to just die, but because i have no full proof way i cannot. i just want to disappear humans are disgusting creatures. i cant bare to wake up everyday missing him, loving him, wanting him, not knowing how he is or what hes doing its too painful...what do i do? i cant break out of this, ive tried i just cant.. Anonymous poster hash: 137bc...580