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ineedlove

How's this song sound??

6 posts in this topic

"YOU NEVER KNOW IAM IN LOVE WITH YOU"

 

 

Remembring the time we shared,

I hope it come back again,

Why did i go so wrong,

You need time but iam so alone.

 

You never know Iam in love with you,

I promise i wont let you down again,

Wanna see your smile,

It would heal my heart and free my pain.

 

Iam thinking out of control,

Iam loosing my soul,

Standing in the rain shredding my tears,

So that no one knows my pain.

 

You never know Iam in love with you,

I promise i wont let you down again,

Wanna see your smile,

It would heal my heart and free my pain.

 

I can't sleep in the nights,

Thoughts of you drown me down,

Whole time i feel so low,

Tears of you kills me slow,

Iam dying in my heart, but

 

You never know Iam in love with you,

I promise i wont let you down again,

Wanna see your smile,

It would heal my heart and free my pain.

 

You never know iam in love with you,

O baby Iam in love with you,

Come back now, come back now

and i promise i wont let you down again.

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In its current state I would give it a 6/10. Not being harsh but in order to get across its message in a more efficient way I would suggest some patching needs to take place.

 

Now this is not being one of the grammar police but could you try to buffer it up a bit? I will attempt this and if I have misplaced anything then please do tell me.

 

 

 

"YOU NEVER KNOW I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU"
 
 
Remembering the times we shared,
I hope it comes back again,
Why did I go so wrong,
You need time but I am so alone.
 
You never know I am in love with you,
I promise I wont let you down again,
I want to see your smile,
It would heal my heart and free my pain.
 
I am thinking out of control,
I am losing my soul,
Standing in the rain shedding my tears,
So that no one knows my pain.
 
You never know I am in love with you,
I promise I wont let you down again,
I want to see your smile,
It would heal my heart and free my pain.
 
I can't sleep through the nights,
Thoughts of you drown me down,  <------ ???? Did not want to edit this because I truly cant find the right words.
This whole time I have felt so low,
Tears because of you kills me slow,
I am dying in my heart, but
 
You never know I am in love with you,
I promise i wont let you down again,
I want to see your smile,
It would heal my heart and free my pain.
 
You never know I am in love with you,
O baby I am in love with you,
Come back now, come back now
and I promise I wont let you down again.

 

 

I tried to avoid editing as much as possible, but this hopefully looks a bit more polished and would easily give it some brownie points for presentation. It is a very sweet song and I am sure a lot of people will relate to it.

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In its current state I would give it a 6/10. Not being harsh but in order to get across its message in a more efficient way I would suggest some patching needs to take place.

 

Now this is not being one of the grammar police but could you try to buffer it up a bit? I will attempt this and if I have misplaced anything then please do tell me.

 

 

 

I tried to avoid editing as much as possible, but this hopefully looks a bit more polished and would easily give it some brownie points for presentation. It is a very sweet song and I am sure a lot of people will relate to it.

thnx for your editing Ranea , even i cant find the right words for that para but you did the half job and surely i will fix the whole work soon.. :)

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