glue

how to be outgoing?

9 posts in this topic

like just now outside my room , in the next room....people are having drunken revelry and all. guys and girls are going gaga....dancing and all behind closed doors.....music banging with pervy songs....alcohol smelling strong

n i m just sitting here.....

so i guess you understand what i mean?

 

In the evening today, it was a beautiful weather outside, and we could many see couples strolling around in the campus....but i spent most of my time in my room...

 

 

 

 

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Okay, well, in a group, at least one person's gotta stay sober and make sense. I would not exactly have a problem having a friend like you. Still, if you want to be outgoing, there are many things you can do. However, we need to know why you stay inside. So what keeps you from going out?

glue likes this

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Do you know the people next door? I'd just go join them if you do. Its actually hard to recondition yourself to be social, I'd have to know more about your story.

 

But here is one thing I did in university: I made one friend in each class. I invited them to study groups, we became actual friends, I met their friends. If you see someone on your floor, introduce yourself, stop and chat, maybe they will invite you to their party. To nervous to chat to a stranger? Thats another problem that needs to be taken care of as well.

glue likes this

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To become outgoing takes time and effort. You have to commit to a different lifestyle and to people/ friends and that may not agree with your nature. 

 

To find out what your social tolerance and desire is initially requires you to step out of your current comfort zone. This is the most important step. Start small, very small. A simple smile and hello to random strangers will boost your confidence as they will often reciprocate. If they don't, smile to yourself and do not knock yourself down.

 

When you feel ready, and you will be, start to introduce yourself to new social events in the same manner. Keep it brief and simple. Your small social skill achievements will keep improving and developing over time allowing you to ultimately pick and choose who you want to be with, and at what level. 

 

You gotta step out buddy.... :)

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One thing that works is to go join groups with continual commitment involved. A job, study group, class, chess club, whatever, it'll all get you talking to a person or two that could use a friend, and if you pursue any of your interests in a more social setting, your focus on your interests might make the social part easier. 

glue likes this

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I don't know.  I've tried all sorts of things myself, drunk the blood of the innocent, cut off the horn of a unicorn (why aren't they called unihorn, come to think of it?), bathed in the tears of a thousand crying babes.  None it works.  I don't know why.  

glue and emerge like this

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I don't know.  I've tried all sorts of things myself, drunk the blood of the innocent, cut off the horn of a unicorn (why aren't they called unihorn, come to think of it?), bathed in the tears of a thousand crying babes.  None it works.  I don't know why.  

lano try spirits... :P

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I'm outgoing, but I do what is comfortable for me. I just don't jump in a crowd and declare myself as one of them. I must study them and talk to them and see what is I like about the group. Everyone fits in somewhere, but it takes confidence to step outside the box. If you don't like the drunken atmosphere or the loud music then go in a direction of those who like a little peace and quite. Or maybe you should go to events and see what sparks your interest. You can meet interesting people from all over. You never know unless you try.  

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