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Guest confusedandconsumed

I don't know how I feel now

6 posts in this topic

I'm having a nervous breakdown. I just had a quarrel with my mom and now I'm in my room, crying while typing here. I'm feeling extremely lonely, and I've recently deleted my Facebook, because I have less that 20 friends whom barely talks to me, and even if I add someone, they're not approving it. It's become useless, so I decided to delete my profile. I only have one friend, who is my colleague and she doesn't know my real situation though. I've been married and got abused, so I had to leave within three months. I joined work 3 months ago, saying that I'm single. Of course I know its a lie but I had to because all other previous interviews, the employer rejected me, thinking that I'm problematic since I'm separated with my husband in just 3 months of marriage. So, my colleague only understand that I'm single, and I don't want to break the friendship, because she's the only friend I have. I'm trying to put away the sadness away, but when I'm back home, I feel really depressed. I am not that good looking, and I tried approaching other men, but they don't seem to get along with me. I often blame my looks for that. I was brought into this world, with this physical appearance, and I never asked for this. Why wont any men go for heart instead of looks? Even my ex husband doesn't look good, but I accepted him the way he was, and it wasn't me who didn't want him, but he threw me away despite being a really good wife. I don't know why, maybe I'm thinking too much, my right eye has been twitching for 2 months now, and I look extremely tired and exhausted in the morning at work or at home. People have been noticing this on me, my colleagues confronted me of why I look so tired all the time. I'm just tired, and I really wish there's something to stop me from thinking so much. I want it to stop.

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For a 25yo you have certainly got a lot on your shoulders.Im sorry your marriage didnt work out,but I doubt it was anything to do with your looks.

When you feel invisible it shows,therefore men tend to look the other way.

Your problems lie within.

When was the last time you were truly happy?

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I was truly when I was getting married. I thought that it was gonna last. Like finally there is someone who's gonna be with me forever. I don't know what men want. I have done the best to keep my ex husband happy. Now I've started wondering do men really have feelings like girls do? I know I should move on, but what is the possibility that the next man I meet would behave the same way? Are all men born without affection? Feelings?

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I'm sorry I've only just seen this reply. 

I do try to get back to people when /if I can. I hope things have worked out for you and you couldn't be happier. 

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