Anonymous17946

My girlfriend is a serial cheater :/..

49 posts in this topic

The worst part is, I know its all mind games, but that little ounce of love I still have for her is just failing to see that, like the logical side of me knows I do not want to back with her at all, like right when I was just getting over her, I was back to my happy self, making jokes and having fun, but then she started to do that again and my weakness is love, because love wins everytime and I hate it and even though the logical side of me says its a really bad idea and I know I dont want to do it,but my heart says it wants to give her a second chance, I legit am stuck now because I cant take back asking her out again (even though I wish I could) and now its jus an even more confusing mess....

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Hm,it sounds like your ex definately has feelings for you,but whatever you do-dont drop Mary.

If your ex had true feelings for you,she would let you still stay friends with her. Love is indeed blind so go in this with your eyes wide open.

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yeah I guess....I dont know....:/...its back to sqaure one with this whole confusing thing and I dont know what to do now...funny thing is, her brother, works on my line for third shift and im on second shift, and he told me that she put in her transfer papers to go to third shift, which she didnt mention to me at all, so I dont know if she is just having me hang on until she goes to thirds or if she actually has feelings for me still...I dont know....

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Its only a mess if you make it that way luv. Can you handle her cheating on you again? If so,then youve nothing to lose.Either way someones going to get hurt.

Marys gave you sound advice and trust me,you should always listen to those closest to you. I didnt and it got me in a whole heap of trouble.

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That's the thing I'm her only ride to work in the town we live in, im kinda stuck :/

 

No your not.

 

You don't owe her anything. She can figure out her own way, or if not, a new job.

 

Your broken up and she still owns your ass.

 

What is it the kids say these days? SMH shaking my head.

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seriously im her only ride to work in the town...there is no one else we work with or know that lives near us that can take her, I tried....but here is another update, so me and my ex and our friends all went to the bar the other day and somehow me and that ex got to talking and she told me she wants to stay single and figure out what its like because she hasnt been single since she was 18 and she is 30 now and then she goes on to tell me that she does want me but she is not good right now she wants to figure herself out and she breaks people and she gets herself in bad situations and she knows it so she jus wants to clear herself out and fix herself  and then later on she got really drunk and started to cuddle with me and started crying, I hugged her and told her I will always be there for her and she told me she doesnt know why every guy wants to leave her and she jus wants somebody to stay consistent in her life and what not and then the next day we somehow got into the conversation about her cats and she told me that before me her and that john guy used to sleep together with the cat in between them....so now I know the truth more than anything, but now im unsure what to do....what sucks even worse is that I havent been myself again, like I was jus getting over her but now its back to the vicious cycle of being down....I promised her a couple weeks ago that I wouldnt talk to my best friend mary cuz it hurt her and I told her that because I wanted to prove that I love her but ever since everything went down, I have been nonstop talking to my best friend and she has been helping me and now im just I dont know...im not happy anymore...this sucks so much...

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This girl still has you wrapped around her finger. Until you cut her off, your going to keep experiencing these emotional rollercoasters and hurting yourself.

 

Your the only ride she has? Tough. Tough freaking luck.

 

If you keep going out and drinking with her, giving her rides to work, you can bet your ass your gonna end up hooking up with her, dragged down into her drama, bullshit, and lies.

 

Good luck.

 

You really really need it.

 

No-one can help you but yourself. If you can't cut her out of your life, you have ONLY yourself to blame for all the problems she will cause. And she WILL cause them.

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The girl can get a bicycle or moped or some jalopy just like tens of millions of other people do all the time.

She not only cheated on you with a guy, but she's also bisexual, so she will face twice the temptations in any kind of relationship she has with ANYONE. In other words, she's a mess.

She is not a damsel in distress--she is a distressed damsel.

And she loves to see you writhing in agony when she tells you about her latest sexual exploit!

You, sir, are a true glutton for punishment. You need to drop this idiot girl and find yourself someone like Mary--if not Mary herself!

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back for another update, thanks everybody and I know im a very difficult person when it comes to advice I do use it, it just my emotions take the best of me and it takes me a while to take into consideration the advice you guys give me, but do understand that I do listen, it just takes me a while to put into action....well here is the update so far, her best friend john jus literally stole $200 from her the other day and now her and that john character arent even friends anymore. I picked her up to take her to work friday and she silently sobbed all the way there, when I asked her what was wrong she got mad and said "why are you all up in my business?" and I told her that Im trying to care because that is what I do, she then told me she didnt want to talk about it at the time, it wasnt until after work she told me that john stole $200 and ran off without a word and how she thought he was her best friend but now he is nothing to her, she told me she has him blocked on facebook and wants nothing to do with him and that if her brother is around if he ever tries to stop by she will have her brother kick his butt. Now, one part of me feels really bad for her, but the other part of me feels as if this is karma coming into play, im not sure what it is, but it is pretty terrible. Now she has been hanging out with her cousin (a girl who I have met before, no worries on that one) and she spent the whole weekend with her. A part of me wants to take that place as the best friend to show her that I can bring her a better place in life, but the other part is finally caving to the idea that she just wants to watch my life burn and watch drama so I dont know what to do all I know is this is the wierdest and most hurtful rollercoaster ive ever been in, in my life. ...and as for mary, me and her have discussed multiple times, we do want to be with each other, but cant because she is so busy with college and she lives too far away.

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You need to stop hanging out with sluts. You are picking them all wrong... it sounds like every girl you've ever been with has screwed around on you. Have you considered the priesthood?

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Drama is fun until it isn't.

 

Get a grip and stop wallowing in the muck with these crazy people.

 

You aren't a noble white knight, you are just leeching validation off of these girls.

 

Notice how we are getting more and more harsh with our comments and our advice? It is because you refuse to listen.

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I know you guys are getting more harsh, and I know im being quite difficult its just super hard for me to get it into my head that I need to do something about it, because of my dang emotions and it sucks cuz I do take in your advice I just dont have anyone near me to hold me back, I dont know why I still want to be around her, maybe its because I still have love for her or maybe im too nice of a person and she is jus using me, I dont know, but it sucks, I mean you guys told me to break up with her and it took me a little bit but I did it, you guys told me to stand my ground, which I did a couple days ago, it took a lot but I did it. Jus give me time, I can do it, it jus takes me time to do it.....but here is another update, her friend john came back into her life and is now staying with her and ontop of that she is now trying to get with this shaun guy that she keeps telling me about.she is telling me she is trying to move on from me and find her happiness and I told her if she starts dating him she will have to start getting rides off of him and she told me he doesnt have a car, I told her I will help her find one and the got all over dramatic and said "nope, I will jus stay single and miserable if I want to keep my job" we got into a fight and wound up talking it out, shes going to start taking classes for anger management (at least she says shes going to) and start going to counseling here in our town. as messed up as it is, me and her are actually becoming better off as friends, but yeah, I have reached the point of acceptance where I dont care anymore what she does with her life, she wants to date other guys and mess around thats her responsibility not mine, if she chooses to mess it up thats on her own call, me and her talked it out and we have to came to the conclusion that I will no longer go to her place to wake her up, I will instead just pick her up at 1 and take her to and from work and that is it, if she wants to go somewhere else she has to find another ride, and she will now be paying me gas money instead of mooching rides off of me. We will still be respectful to each other at work and still will help each other out if we are in a financial bind, but other than that we dont text each other anymore, we do not call each other, and we are jus going to go live our seperate lives until she finds a new ride. So im slowly getting to that point where I am able to stand my ground, its jus taking me a lot to do it.

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You need to quit this girl.

 

I'll use the analogy of drinking, as I know it well. When I decided to quit drinking, like most addicts I decided to "taper". I'd set a limit for myself, 3 drinks a night max, and only socially. So that worked well for a bit, then less well, until I'd slid back into being a full time drinker.

 

Some people make tapering work, most don't.

 

Feel me?

 

The reason why almost everyone suggests going no contact after a breakup is because the odds are you aren't going to slowly taper off contact and relationship, your going to remain caught in the web.

 

I hope for your sake, you are tapering off this chick. You certainly are trying and I admire you for that.

 

I'd say the odds are against it.

 

Be careful how attached you remain, even as a friend. The best case scenario may be you being her friend while she fucks other dudes and you are super jealous. Not fun.

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Your attitude will compromise your altitude for real love. The idea of "what was" will always haunt you so long as ANY contact remains. Even if you become better friends later, somewhere your brain will say "If I can make THAT work...then..." You know better, but are not willing to DO better. This might make you uncomfortable, our advice may make this uncomfortable for you, but she knows your buttons. The day you stop stimulating her mind, stroking her ego, giving her ANY favors, is the day BOTH of you will get better. You deserve better than what you give yourself credit for. You KNOW better, but I beg the question: Are you prepared to DO better? Make the dynamics of your life and your sense of 'responsibility' for HER life change, and your vision will change.

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yes I am tapering her off, slowly but surely. it's working so far, I havent had any contact with her other than rides and thats it and its been going smooth, I mean it sucks a little to hear all her crap but its her mess not mine, I no longer care what she does even though a little bit is hurt, im slowly jus letting go and watching her create her own mess, this time I wont save her, this time if things go awol between her and her bf and this john guy, i wont be there, I wont be that knight in shining armor, ill be a ghost. im jus waiting on the day for her to mess up real bad and come crawling back to me and I can stand up and say "remember what you did?" and walk away...im no longer her savior, and here soon hopefully I wont be her ride, I may be moving, if my new roomate doesnt move in. .slowly in time, I will take a stand and tell her no more rides, soon it will be done over with and I can move on to a new relationship a better life and a better story but for now, I jus need to work some things out with my situation and then Ill work on the ride thing....give me time...and no her brother actually jus recently quit his job and moved to findlay for a better job so its still back to me giving her rides...

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