Guest selfie

let go?

14 posts in this topic

hi i have a decision to make about my relationship.

 

i have been with a guy for almost 3 years now.we had ups and downs but somehow we made it through.

on the way we became very different ppl.what i mean to say is that he became aggressive and rude to me at times and i started to ignore it and then it became the norm.

i didn't like this.i kept telling him that is there is no respect in the relationship there is not going to be any love.but he didn't care.he kept talking and behaving badly and i guess its my fault cos i put up with it.

 

and now he is talking about marriage.he constantly tells me that i am wasting his life by not wanting to get married soon.and he wants to get married and have kids.

 

on my side i dont want to rush into marriage,specially bcos i dont like how the relationship has turned out in terms of how he talks to me and how i have grown to tolerate that.i am waiting for things to get better.but the more he waits the more angry and aggressive he gets!..

 

i feel bad that i am making him wait.but then again it is also his choice  isn't it? but when he wants to break up..he always says its over and call me back a while later like nothing happened and i grew sick of him doing that and asking him what the heck thats about,that now when he calls me after an apparent breakup and talks like everything is fine,i can't be bothered fighting so i just forget abt it and carry on..

 

this has become very unhealthy..should i marry this guy..he pressures me..he says after marriage everything will be okay..we want different things but he insists that we get married..

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No, I don't think you should. They say what happens before marriage is an image of how life will be for the rest of your time together. Adding a title will not change his attitude. A title is just that, a title that officiates status. One should not have to be pressured into making a life with someone. If that has to be done, it's a sign to let this go. If you cannot, by yourself, come to marry him for your own love and own reasons....it's a big red flag.

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By all means, marry this guy.   Then he can keep you barefoot and pregnant so your chances of escape are essentially zero.   When you get "uppity" thoughts and start thinking you deserve a decent life, he will quickly put you back in your place.   With any luck, after you are married, his aggressiveness will take new forms, and he'll start pummeling you and you can wear those bruises like badges of martyrdom!  

 

So tell me . . . did a  plague wipe out all of the other men in your country, or is there some kind of sick reason you are still messing around with this guy?

Big Al One likes this

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No you shall not!! You don't marry a guy who treats you this way. If anything he is lying about after marriage everything will be fine.

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what do u tell  a person when he starts to blame all the years that he spent with u,on u wasting his time??

 

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Lets switch sides for a moment.

What would YOU (poster) recommend I do?

Do you think I've got any future with this guy? If the answer is NO,then you have already answered your own question.

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i know i dont but he is so angry that i wont marry him now and that i wasted his time and thats difficult for me to handle...so much anger..he curses me..calling me a f-ing b

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You're giving me a headache. We have all told you on numerous occasions what kind of man(pig) your getting yourself involved with,yet you still wont listen.Im outa here.Good luck.

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numerous occasions?

I am not sure what you are referring to.

thank you for the advice.

I am trying to deal with my circumstances,looking for answers.

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You sound like the same poster who has been having trouble with the same guy for a number of years. We have all done our part in making you/they see sense.

If you are not the same person then I apologise.☺

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I have not posted here before.

I read a few posts but they did not relate to me.

May I know which topic and group it's posted in?

I would like to have a read.

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