Nix

Im jealous

18 posts in this topic

really really jealous.

 

everyone is moving out and buying houses. now my brother will be buying one very very soon. and im still stuck at home, nearly 30, no job yet. no future. failing at life. idk what to do, i avoid people because they remind me how much of a failure i am. 

 

i saw my uncle a couple of weeks ago, both his sons, younger than me, have now moved out and bought houses, and he said 'i bet you will be glad when you get your own place' maybe it was said innocently, but to me it felt like bragging, and his words have hit hard and all i have thought about for weeks. i need my own place, i looked at houses yesterday, id have to earn a small fortune to be able to afford a place on my own, im trying to save but i have nothing and dont earn much at all, it basically covers my phone bill. 

 

i just want things to be better but i feel everyone tries to cut me down or brag about things, ive never been one to brag about stuff, i dont really tell people anything, only if i have to. but everyone else just talks me me me, maybe im weird? maybe its just what people do. idk anymore, im rambling.......

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Getting a house is incredibly hard. I would still be renting if my dad hadn't given me $10,000 as a downpayment 30 years ago. And the crazy part is I was paying more in rent than I did for a house payment, and basically I was buying someone else a house... just throwing my money away. Almost everyone I know got their initial down payment from their family. My brother and sister did, all of my friends got "loans" from mom and dad. I gave my daughter 10 grand as a wedding present and she and her husband used it for a downpayment on a house. My son has one friend who joined the military and saved all his money and had enough for a downpayment on a house when he got out. It can be done, but in reality almost everyone gets help to buy that first house.

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Exactly, I dont want to rent for that reason, its pretty much the same amount as a mortgage. 

 

I dont know anyone here who gets the deposit from thier parents. My friend in the army just bought a house too, hes renting a room out while hes away so i guess that helps him out, and my cousin is with his partner, but my bro would be on his own probs, unless he also rented some out. tbh i think hes only thinking about it because i was looking on sunday, while he was in the room, he must have nosied at my laptop while i was away.

 

and he wouldnt even survive on his own, he does nothing for himself, not even cook, he just lives off kfc, burger king, pizza hut and nandos. i dont even think he could managrre bills.

 

*sigh* this child gets to move out before i do :'(

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You have to NOT compare your life to someone else. It never does you good, because either you feel as though you aren't enough because you feel behind, or you start to thumb a nose at those who aren't where you are. The housing market is in shambles right now, and finding one that fits your needs AND price value is nigh-impossible. You'd have easier luck finding that perfect vehicle with pizzaz AND practicality thats affordable. 

Your life has no time-frame, a schedule to abide by. We all share a different journey with the same end. I am 24 right now still at home because I am busting my butt to save $$ for a house as well. Most people my age decided to move out too early and are in real nasty financial pickles. Do some look down on that? Sure. However, i remind myself that I am not mooching, and that I gotta give myself slack. Our economy isnt the best, and living with rent(as said) is really tough depending where you end up. No two lives will ever 100% match, and don't let anyone distract you. Don't let anyone, or yourself try to make YOU feel bad about trying to be focused. 

You HAVE ambitions, you HAVE desire to do better. Not many people have that, as a lot were born with golden spoons in their mouths. You're getting a crash-course in character. It's tough I know, but keep your nose to the grindstone, and do what you have to so you can make your hopes a reality. Do the work NOW, so your tomorrow will be on a whole different stratosphere.

Ilse likes this

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Why not rent?

 

I'm going through similar things right now. Freedom means....no money. At all.

 

We all have our burdens though right?

 

I have friends who are just loaded compared to me, other who are up to their neck in debt. I can say that some of the rich people are super unhappy, and some are really happy. Same for those with more financial woes.

 

I know that living under a roof with my parents last year was rough, so rough I want to avoid it again unless I have to. And I know it felt like I was failing the game of life, even though I wasn't.

 

30 is a scary number. I'm working my way to it as well.

 

Do you have a plan? I'm working on my five year plan, even if it isn't going to be achieved the way I hope, it gives me a structure to life.

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I bought my first house when I was 24.  I worked three jobs to be able to afford it

The house was older and in need of repair.  I fixed window sills and took down all kitchen cabinets....sanded; pained; changed hardware and replaced....I ripped out the kitchen floor and BY MYSELF put in a new floor.  I did this stuff in this house all by myself.  Even though my parents lived a ten min drive away and I had two brothers who lived in the same town....they didn't help.  Not financially.  Not labor wise

With my first house, all of that work was a labor of love.  I enjoyed fixing it up and I took 3 months of working on it between the three jobs to get it fixed up.  During this time (in 1993), I did not have a phone or a television.  I bought the furniture for the house at garage sales or at a furniture store that was going out of business

The house had a main level with a master bedroom.....living room.....kitchen.....laundry room.....and a bathroom (no master "suite")  There was a one car garage.  It had a wood burner, which was a great source of heat in a mountain town.  And my granny owned a ranch.  Trees would get cut down on the ranch by telephone company (I think).....my dad and brother WOULD help me out by going to get wood from the ranch and using a chain saw to saw it down.  I would use an axe and split it....HARD work!!!!!  I also hauled it into my garage, stacked it and hauled it into the house.  But my heat bills were kept really low as a result.

The second floor was a loft-ish sort of space that had two bedrooms and one bathroom.

I looked for a LOOOOOOOOONG time for this house.   

After I had the house for about four months, I used a credit card and bought two beds, two dressers and a television.  I put those things in the upstairs space and rented the upstairs rooms out for $300.00 each per month.  It sucked, because even though room mates had their own bedrooms and their own bathroom.....they shared the main level and my bedroom was just off the living room.  They shared my kitchen and pots and pans, etc.

But....my mortgage was just over $650.00 a  month.  The room mates basically paid for my house.  I lived there for three years and it was as if I basically lived for free....since someone else was paying the lion's share of the mortgage and since the heat bill was kept low from the wood burner.  I kept it as a rental when I moved out for another 3-4 years.  I ended up selling the house and made a profit of about $30k

When I moved out of that house, it was to move into another house that was just a little bigger and just a little nicer.  The rent at house number one....now that years had passed and the WHOLE house was rented versus just bedrooms....more than covered the mortgage....it was nearly double the mortgage....that is what allowed me to be able to move into a bigger home....and so forth

 

Nix likes this

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I don't mean to be boastful at all....I just wanted to let you know that it can be done....but I put a lot of hard work into that house and being able to keep it.  I worked an office job Mon-Fri from 8-5.  I worked at a ski resort as a night auditor on Fri and Sat nights from 11pm to 7am and would work as a front desk clerk on Sat mornings and Sunday mornings for about four hours (7am to 11 or noon).  I also taught GED classes at the community college on Tues nights

Have you thought about making a purchase and renting out a room?  That would help you afford the mortgage.....

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To be fair though Pepper, it depends where you buy a house. Where I'm from in Canada a cheap price for a house might be a million dollars. Not even kidding. If you live in the burbs, you could go half that. I hear there are parts of the states that are a lot cheaper.

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Thanks pepper, you dont sound like boasting :) I thought about doing the same too, its always been a dream of mine to flip houses. that was before everything crashed. 

 

just looking at house prices in my street, in 2010 they were one terraced sold for £104k

 

in 2012 another terraced was 116k

 

2014 terraced was 128k

 

may 2015 terraced 136k

 

dec 2015 terraced 153k

 

prices in early 2000's were about 50-60k

 

mine is a semi so its probs worth more than those ones. and theyre not even big houses, 3 beds, 1 bath. modest gardens, most of the terraced ones dont even have driveways, garages are separate. 

 

I need a lottery win

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Yeah, I'm jealous of all the people who bought houses during the crash.

 

Oh well.

 

Nix I'm curious if your shaping up a plan? I think it'd help your anxieties about the future.

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I am :) 

 

Im not really anxious about the future, more about other peoples opinions on me and how much im failing at life. Im trying, but everyone else seems to be moving forwards, im just stuck in the same place.

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I do realize that the housing prices when I bought my house in the 90's were lower than they are now....but wages were pretty low back then, too

I was making $23k a year at my full time office job;  $8/hour at my night audit job and $15/hour at my job with the community college (but only getting two hours a week)

Now....just with mystery shopping I could easily make $23k a year

 


The part that sux is that I live in Colorado....there is a huge housing boom here now.  I, too, wish I had held onto some of the properties...would have quadrupled my money at the very least.  Of course, I would like to get one more rental....but now is also not the time to buy

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It's not really worth buying now, house prices are too unstable.

You should stick out the easier option at your folks house as long as you can, yea it sucks not having your own space or freedom, but it's better than being in a world of debt for a house you just can't afford.

We are renting right now, the house we have was for sale or lease, but the price tag was £350.000 so not likely we will buy it, the rent alone is a struggle (for me at least, he earns 4 times what I do) I am working all the over time I can, my working week is minimum 60 hrs, but sometimes 84 hrs, I am permanently at work, working to earn the money to pay for a house I do nothing other than sleep in, and to pay for a car I only use to get me to and from work, and this is considered normal or a good idea???

I lived on my own since I was 15, I lived in a shithole bedsit in the worst area of Bolton, while all my mates were going on holiday, learning to drive and getting cars, and out partying all the time I was doing nothing but working and college to support myself.

My bro is 36 and still lives with my parents, he knows he's onto an easy ride there and doesn't want the struggle of supporting himself.

I say milk it with your folks as long as you can, put up with the lack of freedom and the nagging cos it's still easier than having your own place.

What's the point I'm having your own home that you will never see cos you have to spend every waking hour at work to pay for it?

pady-oe likes this

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Love, I'm 47 and still at home...

Take your time, let it sink in...

Life has a tendency to throw a person all over the place. It's not a fail or a success. Those terms or definitions thereof are actually relatively new based on how the current social standards define it. So don't allow yourself to be bogged down by it.

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