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Shaggy

Shy Girl Doesn't Respond to Some Texts

13 posts in this topic

For the purposes of simplicity, I am going to call the girl I am talking about here my girlfriend, although it must be understood that although we've only gone out twice and she likes me, I do not know if our relationship is at the point where it would be appropriate for me to call her my girlfriend.

Anyway, the reason I am writing is to ask about how I should handle this girl's shy personality. Specifically, I would like to ask how to make her comfortable with me. The only time I can speak to her in person is when we go out, so most of our conversing is done through texting. She admits that she is an introvert, as am I, but I am making an effort to be more extroverted with her. Sometimes when I send her a text, usually of a more flirtatious nature (nothing sexually aggressive, all very innocent), she ignores it and does not respond. The thing is that she does sometimes respond to it, and if the message is not flirtatious, she is almost certainly guaranteed to respond to it, unless she does not have anything to add, at which point the conversation will end until I pick it up again.

Another thing that I find difficult is that I always start the conversation. I know she is an introvert, but she is too shy to try.

Although flirting through text has not worked too well for me, on our first date we were in a pet store and she was holding a guinea pig on her shoulder. Her hair was caught in it, so I brushed it out of her face and continued to play with it a little. I also picked up one of the guinea pig's legs and pulled her hoodie back up, which the guinea pig's slipping leg was pulling down. On the second date, I briefly held her hand to look at a burn on it.

In both instances, she did not retract from me. Also, when I am with her in person, she seems much more comfortable than she is through texting. That is the only reason that I have not given up. Is there anything I can do, or do I just need to be patient?

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You need to be patient. It definitely sounds like she likes you so just take things slow. 

And maybe shes like me, I never text a guy, idk why, i just dont, maybe shes the same, likes to know you care by texting and not feel needy by texting you? 

The main thing is its going well, no need to rush or put pressure on things.

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@Nix Great! Thanks!

@Gone. I've considered that, but I do not think so. I have been clear about my interest, and she has had enough chances to pull the "friend card." On top of that, she was doing the typical shy girl flirting stuff before we even started talking. You know, the shy glances and things like that.

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1 hour ago, Gone. said:

Him, I hope it is just a "shy thing" she does seems to be giving you the run around.

I would ask her directly where you stand.

@Gone. Would you recommend doing it in person or via text?

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The next time you are on a date put your arms around her and kiss her. I would have done it before the first date, or at the very least on the first date. See how she reacts to that.

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The best thing I can say brotha is show her the respect she deserves.  Take things slow, and if she invites a certain behavior whether it's flirting or sexting etc etc, still take it slow and respect her.    She will appreciate that.   

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I am afraid that @Gone. was right. I messaged her asking if she knew I liked her as more than a friend, and she responded with the classic, "I'd rather be friends for now." I know that this is supposed to be a polite way of rejection, and I know not to attempt to make any further advancements, but since I have nothing to lose, I told her that I thought she knew. She said that she was sorry and that she thought I thought of us as friends too.

I told her the truth, which was that I did at first, and by the second time we hung out, I was beginning to think otherwise. I then told her that I thought she was interested as well. Her response was, "Maybe at first but I just want to be friends for now." I asked her if she could explain why the change of heart, and her response was, "I just don't want a boyfriend right now."

I followed it up with a message telling her that I did not believe that she was telling the truth about not wanting a boyfriend, especially since she was interested beforehand. She did not respond, nor do I expect her to, but at least I got some information for analysis for the future.

What do you make of it? When answering, please know that I want to know what I should have done differently with her to prevent something like this from happening. As for her, it hurts. Really bad. But I know not to keep trying.

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Some you win,some you lose.

It did just sound like typical shy girl at first,but it does appear you have now been friend zoned.

At least it happened early doors, would of been much worse months down the line.

 

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