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What would cause a 26-year-old nurse with a good high-paying job at a magnate hospital and a thirty-year-old Navy veteran to not leave home (or return home after leaving)? I have two friends--brothers--who are still at home. One brother is a nurse at a magnate hospital, good, high-paying job, is already engaged and will be married in December, and yet he's still living at home. The other is a former sailor who lived on his own in an apartment in a naval base in Guam during his tour (and in Chicago outside the base). After he got out of the Navy, he went back home and has never left. He doesn't drive either. He just bikes or takes the bus or the train. Their other brother is 31 years old and has ADHD and has zero ambition. Only one brother, also a sailor has actually, totally left home. He's married with one son and is still very much active in the Navy.

And my nurse friend has the gall to ask me when I'm going to leave home!

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well it could be money, either they dont earn enough to support themselves or theyre saving up to buy a place.

could be depression, or anxieties, ptsd 

Padre J Roulston likes this

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You know I have pondered this question a lot in my lifetime. I think it has to do with the dynamics of your family more than anything else. In different areas of the country and different groups of people there seem to be completely different expectations too. 

I grew up in the midwest area of the USA and parents did not really want their children in their house after they turned 18. If you were going to college you could stay there in the summer but your room might also be a storage area... if you didn't get a job or go to school mom and dad would tell you to join the army or something. Anything, just get out.

So I move to the southern part of the USA when I am 19 and suddenly I notice all these twenty something year old people still staying in the same room they grew up in as a child. It kind of blew my mind. Especially when they would have girls over or smoke dope in the room like mom and dad didn't know what the crap was going on. That sure as hell would never fly with my parents, or really anyone I knew in the midwest in the 60's or 70's. I guess it's kind of a southern thing.

I have also noticed hispanics will have generation after generation and even different families living in the same house. Like 15 or 20 people! I never saw anything like it until America was overrun by illegal immigrants. Maybe it is because of a shortage of money, but I don't think so. They don't seem to have any problem buying $50,000 trucks. I have been in houses where there were at least a dozen mattresses in  the attic and people were sleeping in all of them.

 

So basically I don't know. I know I sure couldn't live with my parents, but my wife's mom lived with us for years. Of course it was my house and my rules so it really wasn't like she was an authority figure.. my parents would never have gone for that, but they had a lot of money. Maybe that has a lot to do with it.

 

EinChorMan likes this

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When you split the cost of a mortgage or rent by 15 people (illegals), it's pretty easy to afford a $50k truck.  

But I think young adults living with their parents is a sign of the times....prosperity is harder and harder to come by these days....or maybe people just expect too much
 

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Houses are incredibly expensive now too. In the 60's you could buy a really nice house for 15-20 grand. Then in the 70's it was $50,000 the 80's went crazy and even crappy houses were $50,000. Now any decent home is well over $100,000 and $200,000 is more like it. Yet you could get a full time job when I was starting the job market in the late 70's making $10 or $12 an hour with no education. If anything jobs are harder to get and most of them are part time. Plus tv was free and there were no cell phone or computer bills when I was in my 20's and 30's... there are twice as many bills, everything is more expensive and there are no jobs. To be completely honest it is a miracle everyone isn't living with their parents.

EinChorMan and Pepperjelly like this

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It is all about economics today.   KIds graduate from college or university and all they can find is jobs at McDonald's.   We were not always in this position--but the politicians and business leaders sold us out.   What jobs we don't export we bring in foreigners on special visas to fill.

My wife and I are always looking at cost cutting measures.   Here are some of the things we have done:

1.  Cut the cable and installed indoor television antennas to pick up free TV broadcasts.   We have "smart" TVs now so we can watch Netflix and other stuff on the Internet--cheap.

2.  Buy our oil and filter and take our car to a trusted mechanic for the oil change instead of the dealer.   That way an oil change costs us $60 rather than $180.   If you can do it in your driveway, you can do it for about $30.  

3.  Find a cheaper cell phone plan.   We had Rogers in Canada and gave them the boot.   They are waaaay too expensive!

4.  Wear pants three or even four times before washing or dry cleaning them.   They will last longer and you won't have such high drycleaning bills.

5.  When you do go to a restaurant, order water instead of tea, coffee or soda.   Water is free!

6.  Shop around for car and home insurance.   Just don't get Allstate or Liberty Mutual.   In case you don't know it yet, the worst companies advertise the most--they have to in order to overcome all the bad "worth of mouth" advertising they get.

7.  Buy store brands instead of name brands.   Green Giant cans those store brand green beans.   Why pay $2 more a can for just a name?

8.  Check out books from the library instead of buying them.   Or use a KIndle to have a library on your smart phone or laptop.

9.  Don't buy junk.   If you buy junk, instead of quality merchandise, the junk will break or wear out prematurely, and now you have to buy that item again.   "Buy once, cry once" for quality goods!

10.Forget high priced coffees at places like Starbuck's.   It's ridiculous to pay $5 for a cup of coffee or tea.   Stop patronizing them and watch those prices plummet!

There!   Now I am off to the Land of Nod!

Pepperjelly likes this

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