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Torn between breaking up and giving it another chance.

6 posts in this topic

Me (25/f) and my SO (26/m) have been together for 8 months now. During these 8 months, I have found him on single hookup websites. He swears that he loves me and he won't do it again after every time I have found him doing this.  After finally looking on his phones history, I found over 10 websites he has profiles on and conversations I wish I could unsee. This is now the 4th time I have found him doing this. I am left again, hurt and upset. He wants us to work out but I am honestly thinking about ending it. I asked him why he does it and he has no answer for me. He just says "I don't know why. I F***** up, I'm sorry"
I am so tired of hearing I'm sorry, it doesn't fix anything.
He has told me all of his relationships only last a little shy of a year long and he has never been the one to end them. So this relationship seems to be going right along his track record. I want things to work out, but I don't think I can trust him. I don't know if he has ever hooked up with anyone while we were together. He claims he's never cheated... I don't trust he would give me the honest truth on that.  We have a lot in common and for once everyone in my life loves the guy I'm with. I have invested a lot of time becoming close with his family and friends so that makes this decision that much harder.
Other than his loyalty, we have no other problems just a few normal disagreements here and there. 
I don't feel sexually secure in our relationship due to all of this. 

I am just so lost on if I should give him one last chance to make it right or walk away. I don't know how trust can be gained at this point and I am broken/torn. I feel stupid for trusting him again. We were planning on moving in together at the end of my lease which is in November, our 11 month mark. But I don't even know if I want to do that now. I love him but at this point I'm not falling in love with him anymore. He has burned me and I can forgive him but I'll never forget it. I told him I needed some time to think things over because I didn't want to make a decision out of anger. Of course, the main answer going through my head is to just let him go because he is obviously claiming to be single and talking to others. But then he cries to me and tells me how much he wants me in his life forever and will do anything to make this right. 

* What do I do?
* How can I take a step back from this?
Advice please!!!?

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Dump him.

Hes done it 4 times (that you now of) so he knows he can get away and you will tolerate it. His past relationship history should not even come into it to make you feel sorry for him or whatever, he didnt end them, so they probably caught him at it too.

you need to end it. you cant and probably never will trust him which leads to endless torture. you deserve better, hes mugging you off.

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I didn't read the entire post, because tbo I don't think I need to. If he really wanted to be with you, he would be with you, and not looking to a future with someone else. 

He claims he didn't end his previous relationships, but he did, by doing the exact same thing with all those other women. 


My advice is to end things. Emily, you deserve someone who is going to give you his all, and is going to love and respect you. This fellow obviously doesn't. 

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Smh... how on earth have you put up with his behaviour for so long, I'm being serious, how?

 You must have one bad case of self esteem to be putdown like this. Tell this player to go and find some other fool,don't fall for his lies or his downright complacency anymore.

Get yourself strong girl and give him the boot.

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