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Priscella

Is are age gap bad?

15 posts in this topic

For the last 8 months, I have been dating a guy that is older than me. I really thought my mom and step father would very much dislike it. But no they have no problem about his age. The only thing they didn't really like was the fact that he was Divorced and has a daughter. They got over that though after they met him. I'm just so sick and tired of everyone telling me I need to be careful as soon as they find out our age Difference. Are when they look at me like I'm a victim. I was never the type of girl who would go for guy that are older. I'm just so sick of guys my age they are nothing but huge fuckboy's. 

    Btw I'm 21 and he is 31. 

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I don't see anything wrong with the age gap. To be honest as long as you're happy why does it matter what other people think? As long as you generally want to be with him and not out of spite of people your own age, because there are some 21 old males out there who are genuinely nice people, then go for it and be with who you want to be with :)

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I was once told that a good rule of thumb for dating ages, is:

half the age of the older person, plus seven years. So in this case that would be 22.5
I think however that we can make an exception ;)

 

As has been mentioned already, age is just a number, and as long as you are both happy, then there is no issue. I have know many couples in similar age brackets as you, and are still in strong relationships. :)

Best of luck to you both. :D

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First of all, can someone explain to me what a "fuckboy" is? If I went around calling girls my age "cunts" I'm pretty sure I'd get crucified. It seems like a pretty immature way to relate to your fellow human beings

--
 

Second, age doesn't have to matter but it can. I'm 25 and now that I'm back on the dating scene I've really seen age play out in many ways.

As an older dude, 18-19 year old girls can be great and smart and emotionally in tune but the fact of the matter is I work everyday and study everyday and exercise everyday and I don't party or drink. That makes my life and the average 19 year old's life radically different. Most of them live at home. Most of them haven't traveled. Most of them haven't worked a professional job. Most of them aren't financially independent. None of that has to matter, but it can certainly create an uneven dynamic. And to be honest...that uneven dynamic seems to be what younger girls often crave. An older more mature dude. It doesn't seem entirely healthy in the long term if you ask me.

Now dating up is interesting. I've dated several girls in their 30's. It was the opposite. They were at a later stage of life than me, and while I loved the slower pace of things because it suits me, they ultimately wanted different things out of life due to their ages.

So I'd say age doesn't have to matter. But it often does.

Good luck and be open and honest with your partner.

Oh and please tell me what a "fuckboy" is so I can understand why all the tinder chicks are up in arms.

pady-oe likes this

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The age doesn't matter, it's about how you feel about each other.

I've only ever dated people older than me.

I dated someone about 30 yrs older than me for a while, that possibly was too big an age gap, but mainly because of others than me and him. 

10 yrs really isn't that big a gap.

Be happy and go for it.

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I maybe be 21 but not a partier. I never done drugs are gotten drunk. I just rather stay home on a Friday are Saturday night and watch tv. I live on my own but he doesn't. He moved back in with his mom after the divorce. He trying to get his life back together, he just now got a full time job. I don't really feel like we are at really different points in our life's. I'm starting out my life and he is restarting his. Yeah he is older so he has more life experience. 

When I said boys my age are nothing but fuckboy's. I don't really mean all but most are. The good one are ether gay are taken. 

A fuckboy is a guy who don't care about anyone but him self. Leads girls on and sleeps around. 

And yes guys for many many years  has always called girls cunts, sluts, whore,  bitches and fuckgirl. If we get mad. We are just over reacting  crazy feminist. As soon as girls  fire  Back we are the immature ones who just need to let boys be boys. 

pady-oe and Docteur Ralph like this

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Yeah the problem is girls mature a lot faster than guys. Then they live longer too which really messes things up. Most 15 year old girls are about as mature as your average 24 year old guy. Don't know why. So yeah I have dated girls that were 10 years older than me. I noticed when I was in my early 20's that 30 something year old girls were very appreciative of young strong good looking men and would do about anything to have a relationship with one. The younger girls wanted me to spoil them and the older girls wanted to spoil me. I dated a lot of older girls, and a lot of younger girls too. Nothing wrong with it that I discovered. Do what makes you happy.

 

Big Al One likes this

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That thing about the age difference works for men too. I noticed when I was dating older women it was like people felt sorry for me or something. It struck me as ridiculous, it was like really??? I'm a victim? HA HA HA..  yeah right. This girl is just using me for my body. Poor me.

I hated it when I dated really young girls too, everyone would look at me with disgust. What are you doing to that poor little girl. And I never dated underage girls, I mean what is it with people? For some reason the younger person in a relationship is always looked at as being taken advantage of. People need to mind their own business.

 

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The age gap thing isn't an issue.

The fact you're asking is.

The long it concerns you, the more it'll hurt when it ends.

Sorry. Statistics will back my statement about people hoping things will get better

If you are happy...great...if not, part while you have your youth:)

 

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I'm a caveman

  Old enough to play is game.

What you will find in the end is more of a question of maturity.   A mate with the disposition of a bimbo will exhaust the relationship and any physical desire sooner than later.  The mind soul and emotions need common ground, otherwise you starve.

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Can't believe, I wrote this last year...

well anyway a little update. We have been together for almost two years now. Everything is wonderful between us, we are moving in together next May. He is a great man! I've never had anyone treat me so good. He is also a wonderful father to his child. Last year after learning about why he got  divorced changed a lot of things. Sometimes you have to realize that it's the men who get left and hurt. It's not always the guys fault. 

Padre J Roulston likes this

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Well, Priscella, that's good news.   Just be careful about moving in together.   It's a quasi-marriage and often the pair just splits up.

It's different when you are married and just living together.

All of that said, more men are opting out of marriage because they, like your guy, got badly burned.   Everything is tilted toward the woman in the family courts.   There is no concept of equality there.   Women can behave badly and still end up with the house, the car and the kids--and half the guy's income.   So I am no longer blaming men who shy away from marriage.  

Women have the power to fix this.   There are, however, two areas that the self-described feminists won't touch:   (1) making themselves eligible for the military draft, so they are on an equal footing with men, and (2) fighting for equality in the marriage laws and family court system.  

Personally, I wish all the unmarried men would declare a five year moratorium on getting married--to give women the time and opportunity to fix the unjust laws and court system.   If it wasn't fixed in five years, do another moratorium for 10 years.    My guess is that before 15 years went by, women would get the message and get serious about equality, instead of just wanting it for themselves.

Padre J Roulston likes this

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