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Nix

My dog vs family.

13 posts in this topic

As a lot of you know I finally got my dog. yay, he's amazing and I love him to bits.

He's a rescue and has a few issues that I'm trying to solve. As he was still puppyish (7months) when I got him he did mouth a lot. (mouth on human skin but not a bite, more of a light chew) its a puppy thing that they usually grow out of. and he was, he was getting a lot better, only mouthing when anxious (one of his issues) and never mouthing me.

The problem started a couple of weeks ago, he started mouthing me more, he would try mouthing my mum and bro before they went to work, i would intervene and he started with me. Now he does it a couple of times a day to me, and mouths my bro, mum and dad when they return from work. At first I thought it might be my own fault, he wasnt getting enough exercise. I was walking him everyday but my dad had stopped and only walks him at most 3 times a week for short walks, maybe a 'big' walk once every 10 days. We always agreed he would have 2 a day but now hes only getting one. I'm now trying to pick up the slack on this and walk him twice.

About a week ago my bro came home from work and my dog started mouthing him, I saw my brother deal with this by kicking him away. (not hard, like a shove) I went crazy, I told him not to do that. but my brother starts yelling back and his voice is so much louder than me, he got so angry, said George shouldnt be doing it etc. Now my brother is so pig headed, he can never be wrong about anything and will never listen. Also, he doesnt have a good relationship with George, George sees him for less than 5 mins when he comes home or goes to work, thats it, no feeding, playing or walking at all. I think this is what stated it all. and my dad told my bro not to, but he just yells all the time and storms off.

But I have also seen my dad slap Georges nose when hes pulled at his clothes a couple of times, again I said dont do it and he didnt listen.

My mum is probably the worst. I watched the dog whisperer out of interest in how he trains the dogs, even though i completely hate the method, the problem is my mum has also watched it and taken it on board, she admitted to me the other day that she alpha rolled the dog, i went crazy and told her to never do that again, this morning, he was mouthing her again and she slapped him on the nose, ive also seen her kicking him away. again i went absolutely crazy at her. she said the things i told her to do dont work, but they do. shes just inconsistent and expect things to happen the first time.

All these things are making him far worse, and they all wonder why im the only one who gets cuddles from him. I dont know how many other ways I need to tell them not to do it, I cant be present 24/7 to keep an eye on them. Im anxious, my dogs anxious and i really cant take much more. Talking isnt an option as they just dont listen or respect me

 

TL;DR Family hits dog, its making his mouthing worse, cant talk to them because they wont listen and im very stressed

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To be honest, though they are not liked by many people, I think that a shock collar is what you need to control this behviour. If you had a collar with a remote (not a bark collar) then everyone could have the same reaction to the dog, when the mouthing it happening. Negative reinforcement isn't the best method out there, but it does work, especially when used along with positive reinforcement. 
Consistency however, is the best teacher, and I think that a shock collar would give that to your family. 

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I'm not really familiar with dog training, so on that front, I don't have any advice to offer.

What I can say, which is probably not much help is: You can't really make your family do what you want.  If there's anything I've learned by living with my parents, it's that.  You can try to reason with them, you can yell, you can give the silent treatment, but humans are a lot like poorly trained dogs in that sense.

About a year ago, I was on this stint where I was trying to learn how to cook.  It was fun and interesting, trying out a different recipe about once a week, when I made the time.  But my mom INSISTED on helping me, no matter how many times I asked her to get out of the kitchen.  I wasn't opposed to her help (she's a great cook) but she's one of those people who "helps" by doing things for people.   I'm a person who learns by doing - when people do things for me, I just don't learn.  I tried to explain that to her.  I asked why she felt the need to help me even though I clearly didn't want her to.  Why she would do something that I specifically told her not to do (like adjusting the burner) as soon as I wasn't looking.  She just made excuses. One day I just flipped out in the middle of cooking and told her that if she was so keen on "helping" she should just finish making it herself, and I don't try to cook anymore.  

My sense is that this is a similar situation, and that you've had other with you family like it.  Do they typically try to work with you and go along with your ideas on things, or do they just do their own thing regardless of your feelings?  If the latter, why should this situation be any different?  So, my takeaway, is: The only way to keep your family from interfering in your dog training is to separate them from the dog, i.e., move out.  Which is probably not convenient.  

I have respect for people who take the duty they have to their pets seriously, so props to you for that.  It sounds like the dog is in good hands overall but it sounds like your fam is going to be a continual bad influence, and you may just have to accept that.  Try to at least get them to stop hitting him though!  I never owned a pet but I could never see myself hitting an animal.  

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Thats  it with having a family dog,they expect to have some say on how the dog is brought up. 

George sounds like he needs proper training he's still going through his puppy stage. 

I think you should all reach an agreement on how to control his behavior,he's probably confused on why your all doing things differently.

How often and how long is he being walked for?

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2 hours ago, Padre J Roulston said:

To be honest, though they are not liked by many people, I think that a shock collar is what you need to control this behviour. If you had a collar with a remote (not a bark collar) then everyone could have the same reaction to the dog, when the mouthing it happening. Negative reinforcement isn't the best method out there, but it does work, especially when used along with positive reinforcement. 
Consistency however, is the best teacher, and I think that a shock collar would give that to your family. 

Shock collars often make dogs more aggressive, especially when they have anxiety like mine does. Giving him a shock will just cause more anxiety and distrust around them.

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1 hour ago, Lano said:

I'm not really familiar with dog training, so on that front, I don't have any advice to offer.

What I can say, which is probably not much help is: You can't really make your family do what you want.  If there's anything I've learned by living with my parents, it's that.  You can try to reason with them, you can yell, you can give the silent treatment, but humans are a lot like poorly trained dogs in that sense.

About a year ago, I was on this stint where I was trying to learn how to cook.  It was fun and interesting, trying out a different recipe about once a week, when I made the time.  But my mom INSISTED on helping me, no matter how many times I asked her to get out of the kitchen.  I wasn't opposed to her help (she's a great cook) but she's one of those people who "helps" by doing things for people.   I'm a person who learns by doing - when people do things for me, I just don't learn.  I tried to explain that to her.  I asked why she felt the need to help me even though I clearly didn't want her to.  Why she would do something that I specifically told her not to do (like adjusting the burner) as soon as I wasn't looking.  She just made excuses. One day I just flipped out in the middle of cooking and told her that if she was so keen on "helping" she should just finish making it herself, and I don't try to cook anymore.  

My sense is that this is a similar situation, and that you've had other with you family like it.  Do they typically try to work with you and go along with your ideas on things, or do they just do their own thing regardless of your feelings?  If the latter, why should this situation be any different?  So, my takeaway, is: The only way to keep your family from interfering in your dog training is to separate them from the dog, i.e., move out.  Which is probably not convenient.  

I have respect for people who take the duty they have to their pets seriously, so props to you for that.  It sounds like the dog is in good hands overall but it sounds like your fam is going to be a continual bad influence, and you may just have to accept that.  Try to at least get them to stop hitting him though!  I never owned a pet but I could never see myself hitting an animal.  

My mum is the same with cooking. If I ask for help she will take over. Im typically ignored in the house, they have no respect for me or my things. they will not listen to my input and my mum sees my thoughts as whatever my dad says, which is not the case. 

Its got to a point where I no longer bother training george because they just ruin the training. And now, I train him to do things but dont tell them the command so they cant ruin it

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1 hour ago, Gone. said:

Thats  it with having a family dog,they expect to have some say on how the dog is brought up. 

George sounds like he needs proper training he's still going through his puppy stage. 

I think you should all reach an agreement on how to control his behavior,he's probably confused on why your all doing things differently.

How often and how long is he being walked for?

He's not really a family dog tbh, my mum didnt want one, but she finally broke down and said a rescue would be ok, but not a puppy. My brother made it clear he wanted a puppy to cuddle and thats all that he would do. The care was supposed to be me and my dad. But my dad is 'so tired' from work that he often doesnt walk him and if he does its a short one to get him to poop. 

Its me that walks, feeds, plays and trains him. im with him most of the time, and obviously i dont mind that in the slightest but when theyre buggering up my training, making him worse and using force with then i take issue. I wish i could take him for longer walks, but i need my car sorting so i can take him and i cant let him off lead yet so hes not getting as good as he could.

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I think with any group of people George will see them as a pack.

I also think George may well see himself as the Alpha. That needs to be corrected before his nip turns into a real bite. I'm sure that won't go down well with the family

I walk mine up to 3times a day for 2 maybe 2&half hours at a time.

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you spend 6 hours a day walking your pooch? i wish i had that much spare time.

Alphas and dominance theory has been debunked. George is anxious, thats why hes mouthing, There are steps to make things as least stressful as possible and reduce the mouthing, only the fam wont adhere to them, they think he should just fit into our life which isnt gonna happen until the accept that they need to adjust their behaviour to make all of our lives easier

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Nope I spend an hr or so with him in the park in the morning.

same around 5ish then half an hr round the block.:)

Hm I hope they listen to you it sounds like you know your stuff anyhow.

 

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9 hours ago, Nix said:

Shock collars often make dogs more aggressive, especially when they have anxiety like mine does. Giving him a shock will just cause more anxiety and distrust around them.

A shock collar may not be the best method for your dog. :) I just know what has worked for me personally, and given the familial situation I think it would be best just so that there is a uniform method of training. 

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It's time to stop the mouthing. ASPCA says to yelp like  a dog when it chews on you, to let it know it hurts, and then stop playing with it for a while. It also says to keep a toy around and as soon as it puts its mouth on you to redirect it to the toy. My advice is buy a bunch of chew toys or tug of war things and have them laying around for everyone to use when the dog wants to play. But like lano says, good luck trying to get your family to do anything you want. It never works that way in my house either.

 

Padre J Roulston likes this

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