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Not even sure where to start anymore

4 posts in this topic

It's been a while since I've been here. Mostly because life has been well life. I however need help. I don't even know where to begin. I'm 9 months pregnant right now. My husband just landed himself in jail last night for a domestic disturbance, they're only doing disorderly conduct though now since I said I don't want to press charges. 
This is the 4th domestic disturbance with him. Social services had even removed my son at one point. He is back home and my husband hasn't even been in the home. He had found my phone when he borrowed my car, I dropped the phone, didn't realize it. Well there's been another woman since I was halfway pregnant. Next thing he's talking about kidnapping and running off into the sunset with her basically. 
She ended up sending me everything. All of it. 
I had been deciding on how to tell him I knew. 
He lost it and came into my workplace and threw this fit, smashed my phone, tried slashing my tires, and just absolutely lost it. I thought he needed a few nights in jail but not missing the holidays and the birth of his son. 
I'm broke so I can't even bail him out when bail is set. I want to but I'm also afraid he may blame me and spit in my face. He told the caseworker I've been completely innocent in all this though and he never meant for this to happen. He came into the store bawling his eyes out after and trying to apologize, before he knew the cops had been called. My coworker chased him off several times. Wouldn't even let me speak to him. 
I don't know how to feel. 
I love my husband even with all this. I have been through physical abuse, emotional abuse, I have been through hell, I have been cheated on, lied to, betrayed, I have been put through everything under the sun basically in the past, and in this relationship pretty much all of it minus severe physical abuse, he just grabbed my arm one time and I slapped the shit out of him. 
I just don't even know where to start. What to do, how to protect my kids and myself, yet let him know i am not turning my back on him and I'm here when he decides he wants help. I don't know but this is killing me too. 
I wish I could just walk away but i  can't. 

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Sarisa, Reading your post kind of worries me,it's not due to your Husband being jailed but more to the fact of how many times he's hurt you.And more to the point of how willing you are to take it as it's given.

I understand how he's your Husband and the love you share,but surely all this treatment has altered your perception of what "true love" is all about?

He sounds like a right bastard tbh. He could do with a stint in Prison to see the error of his ways. You shouldn't be subjecting yourself to any kind of abuse in your condition and if he was any kind of man he wouldn't have put you in this situation. 


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You're 9 months pregnant, you do not need this, for your health, the baby's heath and your older sons health you need to get away from him. You need to turn your back on him, you need to stop condoning the behaviour, its unacceptable and will continue until you walk away.

The whole thing is absolutely toxic, you may think you still love him but what effect is this having on your son? My mum works in school and she sees this all the time in the kids, it horrific and unfair for them and for you. Better a single mum than a beaten broken abused woman.

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Sarisa I really hope you've taken on board what Nix and I have said and seriously think about the kind of future you will have if you keep this man in your life.

I really hope your ok love.

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