Chatbox
    You don't have permission to chat.
    Load More
Lano

Relationship Pet Peeves

11 posts in this topic

So, the girl I've been dating the past few weeks did something yesterday a couple of times that really annoys me.

She mentioned something in passing, and seemed excited about it, but was super vague.  I know it has something to do with her getting a car from the context, but when I asked for more details she decided that it was a secret.  It's not a secret, but she decided she didn't want to tell me more.  That sort of thing drives me CRAZY.  If you don't want to talk about something DON'T BRING IT UP!  I hate, hate, hate when people bring something up, make it seems like it's something important, and then when you ask for more, they say nothing, and that it's "no big deal."  If it's no big deal, then what's the big deal if you tell me? 

Later, she mentions that she took some pics of herself wearing a silly hat.  She BRINGS the subject up, and in the same breath says "you won't ever see those pictures."  I thought she was joking or just being playful, so I naturally asked to see the pic.  She refused.  Again, WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS THING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.  

Furthermore, I check her facebook account just now, and there are the damn pics in question for the whole goddamn world to see.  What kind of stupid head games are these? Is it just me?  I'm seriously annoyed with her over this. Like, I had to make a choice yesterday: Do I ruin the date by being grumpy about this, or do I just play it cool and enjoy things?
 

Edit: It's worth mentioning that, she knows that I rarely check my facebook, so I can reasonably assume she thought I wouldn't see the pics in questions.  In fact, the only reason I was checking her facebook was because I wanted to find out her birthday.  So there's another quandary: Do I tell her that I saw the pic?  Or if I do, is she now going to be more careful about what she posts so I don't see it?  

I feel like she's not doing a good job of fostering trust with me with this sort of antic.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good relationships are built on the trinity of: Trust, Communication, and Mutual Respect. This is true for all relationships whether romantic, professional, familial, fraternal, etc. And if one pillar is missing then the relationship is going to be miserable. If more than one is missing the relationship is almost guaranteed to fail.

If this behaviour annoys you, then you should tell her, and explain why it annoys you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not always appropriate to be completely direct, but if it comes up again, I'll say something.  And I have a feeling it WILL come up again, sigh.  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With the silly hat pics, maybe she was testing you to see if you said 'oh the ones on facebook?'

And the car thing, idk, maybe shes excited about taking her test but doesn't want to jinx it? (I did that but I never dropped hints about it, I just never told anyone until after).

It does sound like head games, maybe shes still a little bit immature?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol Lano you seem a right grumpy bugger. ? Maybe she's trying to surprise you with the car Granted she does sound a little immature. I also think she wants you to see her silly hat (I thought only I wore those) I think it's just a figure of speech.  If she's getting on your last nerve then you must have this out with her,or your relationship is doomed.?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hate when people do that too! Good on you, sound like you were able to let it go. Personally (though it is admittedly a bad approach) I find it vey hard not to berate the person until they tell me or I make an issue of it on the spot.

The minute she started playing around with "you will never know or see..." I would find it very difficult to not be a smartass and pretend I was not listening to begin with.

This seems like antagonistic or attention seeking behavior to me, she seems to be pressing your buttons. The question is why?

Hawk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Either Angie is right, and you are mistaking her playful behavior for antagonism (in which case you have some work to do) or Hawklan is right and she is just being a secretive attention grabbing weirdo (in which case you need to take a good hard look at if she is worth it).

Padre J Roulston likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So is the girl a teenager? She does kind of sound like she is immature. Maybe this whole keeping things from you is a way of flirting. Yeah she wants you to pay more attention to her and think about her more so she is being mysterious and playing hide and seek with her information.  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, for the record, things have been going great over all and this bit of drama hasn't popped up again.  Part of me feels like I overreacted now too, but I'm not sure.  In any case. just hope things keep going well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I just didn't feel like signing in. I shouldn't be here wasting battery right now lol. That girl just sounds like a girl to me. Like I might take a silly picture of myself in a hat and put it on Facebook as my profile pic, like I just did a few days ago, but not show my boyfriend who doesn't do Facebook partly because Id rather he think I was lovely. And also I'm a secretive weirdo. And hi from the PCT guys! Pray I don't die tomorrow! - attention grabbing, but sincere, affectionate, and plain girly. So you're terrific, you just have to get with the program. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it happened again, different scenario where she basically tells me that she posts about me on social media but doesn't tell me what she posts.  

I'm going to mention it the next time we hang out.  I'm just going to say, "I'm sure you're not doing it on purpose, but it's really annoying when you say "x" thing is a secret and just refuse to tell me.  If you really don't feel comfortable telling me, you should be able to at least tell me why it' a secret, or failing at that, avoid bringing it up at all."

Padre J Roulston likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

Loading...