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been a while

3 posts in this topic

hey guys.. been awhile since i came around. never thought i needed the help... I've gone incognito for a bit due to the nature of overwhelming forces of influential bs. i mean influence by " too much to handle"  Got me thinking.. even though i was doing just fine before all the " upgrades " I've experienced, it had suited me pretty well with a mediocre lifestyle.. with myself grounded and in control in the least. but with the big career change and relocation had me bit excited.. perhaps too excited. 

Now.. after the big ol wreck ( never been too good at handling change ) im wound up back to this person wondering what did i do? i know i screwed it up.. i had something good.. but i just defaulted myself and im back where i started. the only way i can identify is the story of Icarus who flew too close to the sun is in dire comparison.

long story short i got overbearing and overconfident..then came the womanizing and bullying .. a beast that ignored the man i am.. only turned into whats left of me.

im at loss. secluded into this introverted sorry ass . Reality is  im more than doing fine..nobody died.. i didnt end up on the street. i have a living.  ..  im just mental, i need an outlet. no more than the next idiot who screws up. i just need human contact. i tried to in the real world.. but it truely feels like im just exposing my weaknesses and about to have it used against me. i've searched everywhere on what im dealing with.. is it my ego? jeez. cant get on with myself high or low.

it would be nice to hear the wisdom of my fellow helpers once again... godspeed.


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